The Dark Side of My Ex-Girlfriend

CHAPTER 9 - STUPIDITY OR LOVE?

Now that I've known him for 3 months, on the eve of the new year we finally decided to have a relationship.

We spent time together watching movies, accompanying her to games, hugging and kissing. It was my first kiss and I did it with her. I am so happy to have him.

He treated me very well, took care of me, was firm with me but it was as if our relationship was just me who seemed to love him and seemed to be after him.

I always paid more attention to him, always controlled his health by bringing him and buying him food and drink, and he also came to Campus and came home in the middle of the night just for his sake. Maybe that's what's on my friends' and my friends' minds.

Day after day, month after month I finally passed it all with him. I loved him so much that he was hurt by the truth.

Even to see it can eat alone, I have to be willing not to eat. All that was caused because my pocket money was minimal and had run out to buy him food.

I don't know what's on my mind. I kept thinking about her happiness, without thinking about my own happiness.

Although my friends have often scolded me and told me to leave him, but as if their words meant nothing to me. For me, happiness is only to him, as if I do not care about the words of others and continue to be beside him.

If you say stupid, it is stupid, but the name is love. Love can blind everything including a healthy mind.

Eventually, our relationship began to break down. I was always said to be a child, super protective, jealous and so on.

I admit that I was super afraid of losing her, I didn't want anyone else to be with her but me. I just want him to be with me, as if I would do anything for him.

Even though the one who made a mistake was him, but I always apologized first, as if I was really like a fool.

Small problems are always big, he always looks for trouble with me, but still I have to apologize so that he does not leave me. I kept doing it, but I knew it hurt myself.

When he doesn't have any news, I always look for it. I sent him a message first, I called him, I saw him. As if I had no pride in him at all. All I did was make him stay with me.

Even I would put a happy face in front of my friends and convince them that he can change, I don't know why I feel like he's gonna be able to change even if I know someone's change can't be that fast.

I don't know what has possessed me until I have to say that to them, as if I have lied to them and myself.

Indeed, how could someone seem to be able to change in an instant right? Even though he was wrong, he never once apologized to me. It was as if he was acting that he was the only one who was most right in his words and deeds.

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I kept it that way until our relationship was 2 months old, if people say it's still corn. Maybe everyone dreams of being able to establish a relationship with a loved one like in a Korean drama.

 

Maybe I'm on that part now. I always had the expectation of being able to be in a relationship with him very romantic, lasting, respecting each other, loving each other, loving each other, taking care of each other.

 

But, unfortunately, it will only be my dream that will not be realized. Indeed, really miris.

 

Every day if I do not obey his words, there is always a behavior he craved, angry, even often block my whatapp contact.

 

Sometimes, just because a trivial problem can be exaggerated by him, I don't know what's in his brain. Even though I was right, it was always considered wrong.

But, I don't know why I keep giving up on him. It was as if I was letting the wound get bigger and deeper. As if I wasn't thinking about my own happiness. I continue to hurt myself without stopping it.

Until finally, in mid-February he invited me to talk. I thought our relationship would always last, but I was wrong. He said he wanted to break up and asked me not to call him again.

That made me confused about what mistake I had made to him? I always try to be the best for her.

At first it was very hard for me, being abandoned by a loved one was not an easy thing. The pain and the crying are all I can do.

I keep shedding tears because of it. I felt like there was no more happiness I could get.

Due to her unreasonable reason and not explaining anything to me but suddenly breaking ties with me, I finally tried to send her a message again and hoped she would reciprocate. At first he just read my message without intending to reply to him.

I continued to be patient about what he was doing and kept texting him to ask for an explanation of what really happened.

But he kept not replying to a single message from me. It was as if I had been forgotten far from his life. As if I had never been in his life.

I just kept hoping that someday he would reply to my message and tell me why. I now want nothing more than him, I realize that until then it will not be an important part of his heart and life.

Maybe for him I was just a person who could only beg and pursue with the expectation of his pity. Indeed, it's pathetic