Silence of a Son-in-law

DSM-6

Nonarable. 

Husband's burden. 

Becus did nothing. 

It seems that it has become a hot topic of conversation between my mother-in-law and Mpok Idah. How many times have I listened to the chatter of those who have always made this heart hurt. 

Arriving at the stall, I ordered a pack of cassava chips and spicy macaroni. Just to fill the jar so my mother-in-law would shut up. 

"Are there guests, Miss Ira?" ask the owner of the shop. 

I shook weakly. "No, Ma. There's an Idah MPok at home." 

"Wow, it fits that if Mpok Idah is with Bu Sumarni. One frequency. Ghibah carpenter," he said stirring. 

I only responded with a thin smile. Although I do not like my in-laws, it is still unethical to talk about the woman's ugliness in front of others. Prefer to just hold it. After paying, I rushed home because I did not want to hear any further chatter about my mother-in-law. 

***

"Ashraf, look. I bought a new ring. This is the money you gave me yesterday. Good, right?" My mother-in-law glanced at me and I knew the meaning of that glance. 

With a thump I turned my face. It feels so sick because I'm sure after this there will be talks with Mas Ashraf that might hurt my heart. Not wanting to engage in further conversation, I also chose to say goodbye to the room under the pretext of wanting to sleep. 

Mas Ashraf said yes, while my mother-in-law kept throwing sharp glances and I just pretended not to see it.  

Never mind, I feel better now being in the room. This is the most comfortable place. Other than not seeing my mother-in-law, I won't hear their talk either. 

I picked up the cell phone lying on top of a small closet. Then I called my parents. I miss them a lot because I haven't been visiting for a month. 

If asked if my parents didn't want grandchildren. Surely they want to. However, their attitude was very different from that of my mother-in-law. Hearing that I was not pregnant as well, my biological mother gave me a lot of advice and solutions. Including herbal medicines and also often give dates and olives, but God has not desired for me to have children.

 

Seeing Mas Ashraf coming into the room, I immediately turned off the call. I put my phone in its original place before Mas Ashraf nagged. He always thought I was complaining to my parents and vilifying my mother-in-law. 

"Have you seen my mother?"

Mas Ashraf's question made me just look at him in wonder. I don't know what we're talking about and where we're going. 

"Look, I gave money to Mom. He can buy gold. Rings, necklaces, while you? I've given you money, but it's not clear!" 

"What did you say, Mas?" 

I'm riding a pitam. Really, Mas Ashraf's words hurt my heart. How could the man say that I was not clearly holding the money. It feels really painful. I saw the sharpening eyes of Mas Ashraf, but this time I will not be afraid. It's been enough for Ashraf to hold me back all this time. 

"How can I buy a ring like your mother, Mom? While you only gave me enough money for our daily needs. You gave me more money, but all the necessities of our lives, I had to spend money. In fact, I just want to buy clothes I can't." 

My eyes glazed over and I hated it in times like this. Makes me look very weak.

"If you want to buy clothes, just buy them. Not that I've given you money, don't act like I don't give you a living." Mas Ahsraf's voice had already risen by an octave, but I still wasn't afraid of him. 

"Yes, if I buy clothes and stuff. Then it's not the end of the month that our money is up, are you sure you won't protest me? You sure won't accuse me of being a no-no. We've been married for two years now, Mom. So, I understand how you are!"

I shed tears already my eyes. Flooding wet the cheeks. It felt like I could no longer afford to go like this, but I could not leave either because Mas Ashraf kept holding me back. 

I saw the man just being quiet and confused. Want to argue like anything, now I don't want to lose anymore. 

"Then what do you want?" tanyanya. 

"I want us to stay apart from your mother. It's okay, as long as we can build an independent household," I said in the end. Although I'm sure Mas Ashraf won't.

"You always ask like this! Can't you do good to my mother? He's your parents now!" bengpak Mas Ashraf. 

"Mas, I've been doing good to Mom all this time, but I'm still wrong in her eyes. Tell him, can he do me any good? I was willing to leave my family to live here!"