Silence of a Son-in-law
DSM-19
Just silence?
Of course not. Now I don't want to just shut up when Mas Ashraf keeps cornering me. I have a self-esteem that I have to uphold.
I got up and stood on equal footing with Mas Ashraf. I looked into his eyes fearlessly even though the look in Mas Ashraf's eyes seemed to be filled with anger.
"Why don't you take it, Mom? Aren't we doing the same thing. You complain even silence when your mother vilifies me. I'm just following what you're doing, Mom." My words sound loud. Mas Ashraf was still looking at me and I saw his jaw still tight.
"What's? Tell me what am I supposed to do with you? All this time I've been banging, making a living for you, but it's still lacking for you. You are demanding too much!" Ashraf still does not want to lose.
"demanding? You're saying I'm demanding too much? Mas, just so you know! A wife not only needs an inner living, but a living is born as well, Mas. You better remember, did you give me enough birth?"
"Of course."
Ashraf is completely ignorant! My name is in my heart.
"What's? Remember, Mas. Birth is not just about making love or having sex, but attention is also affection. Is it appropriate for a husband to mention even praise the name of another woman in front of his own wife? Howling and saying that the woman is better than her own wife? Is it worth it, Mas!"
I hold my tears. I really hate this fragile me. Why is it so easy to cry just because it reveals what is very disturbing my mind. All this time I've only cried in silence, but not for now. I had enough to hold on to the limits of my patience.
"I hope you shut up, Mom. Before I finish talking. Listen to all my complaints before I file a divorce suit for you." I avoided Mas Ashraf's gaze because I didn't want my heart to melt into that man.
"Don't nag! Didn't I tell you I wouldn't ...."
"I don't want to be combined! I would rather have the title of a widow than have honey. I can't stand it if your attention is divided. Not married again, you've been indifferent to me especially if there is a young wife? I don't know what I look like in your eyes, Mom. It's probably just like a dust grain."
"Mas, our relationship can no longer be repaired. Too many things make my patience run low. I love you and even try to be devoted to you. But ... Now I give up, Mas. I'm really tired and can't go on with it anymore."
"Are you sure of your will? Don't blame me for having a bad talk about our relationship, let alone about you." Mas Ashraf's tone sounded full of threat. But now I am no longer afraid, let alone afraid.
I am not a weak woman.
"Yes. I'm very ready, Mom. I don't want to live with your mother who can never keep my feelings. I can no longer bear to face your indifferent attitude towards me and I can no longer resist jealousy due to your closeness with Yuni. I've been too patient all this time, Mom."
"If that's what you want, I'll do it now. I'm going to run you over and now we're no longer husband and wife!"
Mas Ashraf spoke loudly and then left my room. Leaving me now sitting limp on the bed. I cupped my face to dampen the crying that was starting to sound. After a while my parents came in and even Mom hugged me tightly. Gave me the strength to face this painful reality.
"Rb ... I'm sure this is best for you. You have to be patient." Mom rubbed my back gently as if giving me peace, while Dad just looked at me with an inexplicable look.
Seeing that, I immediately got up and ran to hug Father. I felt the man's hand returning my embrace was no less tight.
"Father, I'm sure after this you'll live happily. Let go of a jerk like Ashraf. If one day he asks you to come back then you will not be welcome! I don't want to regret giving you back to the wrong man."
I just kept quiet while tightening my arms. Now I am convinced that the most sincere affection of a man for a woman is the affection of a father for his daughter. A father will give his daughter as sincere affection as possible which no man can ever replace.
"Sir, I promise after this will live happily even with the title of widow."
