Silence of a Son-in-law

DSM-3

The clock had pointed to five in the afternoon, but Mas Ashraf had not yet returned home. Though usually when the ashar adhan roared, the man was already at home. In fact, the warm water that I had just prepared, started to slowly cool down. 

I walked to the front door just sitting on the porch playing with my phone. Somehow, if only two with my mother-in-law at home, it does not feel at home. Like being in a cage that makes me depressed and not free. Just want to talk like there's a barrier between us. 

Not because I did not want to chat with him, but I was afraid that if I was so busy chatting then there were things that I accidentally said and it would spread everywhere. Not to be insulting, but my mother-in-law is a typical person who easily splash. Just heard the news that 'he said' had directly spread throughout the village. 

"What are you doing here, Ra?" ask my mother-in-law. 

I looked over and saw the woman sitting on the chair behind me. 

"Sit down, Mom. Bosen at home." I answered casually. 

"Say if you wait for Ashraf. You take it easy, at most he's job again responsibility. Ashraf where possible date another woman," my mother-in-law said. 

I didn't answer anything. Just smiling awkwardly in fear that answering later would be wrong in the woman's eyes. 

After a while, Mas Ashraf came home and I immediately stood up to greet him. Not forgetting I experienced the right hand of this man who was my priest. Then invite in without caring for the mother who is still sitting in her place. 

"Mas, I've prepared orek tempeh and tomato sauce. After this we eat together," invite me enthusiastically. 

Mas Ashraf just glanced at me and was busy taking off his work clothes. "What mom cooked?" 

"Aubergine balado," I said lethargic. 

"Then, I eat the same eggplant balado" said the man as he passed away to the bathroom. 

I'm unmoving. Staring at the back of Mas Ashraf who was slowly moving away from his back. Kurem*s chest slowly while feeling the pain there. For some reason, hearing Mas Ashraf's reply who preferred to eat his mother's cooking made my heart ache. 

I tried to cook for her, but she chose someone else's cooking. I feel unappreciated. However, in the next second, I shook my head quickly. Expel evil thoughts that should not be lodged in the mind. Not wanting to be further confused by my own thoughts and my easy heart, I chose to go to the kitchen to prepare dinner for the three of us. 

"The eggplant balado don't forget. Ashraf really likes eggplant balado rather than orek tempe," said my mother-in-law without thinking about my feelings.

I just agreed and prepared everything. While eating, Mas Ashraf looks so enthusiastic eating a eggplant balado made by his mother. Though usually if I eat eggplant balado, Mas Ashraf is not as enthusiastic. 

***

"Yeah!" 

I gasped when someone called my name while I was shopping for vegetables. I flipped over and was surprised to see Emira—sof my best friend— walking over. I was suddenly excited and cheered with excitement like a child who saw an ice cream vendor. 

Then we hugged tightly. They miss each other for almost a year without seeing each other. 

"Oh my goodness, Mir. You feel at home in the city" I said as I broke our arms.

I looked at Emira's pretty face. His skin looks white and clean even his hair looks very well groomed. Unlike me who is black, shabby, and unkempt. 

"You're more beautiful now, Mir." I commend the woman. 

"of course. I'm in treatment, Ra. Every month I have a salary and have no needs yet, so I better use it to please myself." Emira chuckles and I just smile awkwardly. 

That's right what Emira said. I used to be like that too. Can do the treatment, buy whatever I want, free to go anywhere without anyone forbidding. But now everything is different. My life changed when I became a housewife because Mas Ashraf forbade me from working. 

In fact, if allowed then I will choose to work because I do not have children. Besides being able to have my own money to please myself, I can also stay away from my mother-in-law. It is better to work under the pressure of superiors than to live under the pressure of in-laws. 

Had Mas Ashraf allowed it, it would have been my heart would have been glad to be able to live in peace. 

Why am I complaining like this. 

"Ra! Don't ngalamun. Ntar kesambet!" Emira surprises me. 

I also scolded and pretended to be upset. After that we talked a lot of things until I forgot that I had not been shopping. Upon returning home, I was suddenly worried when Emira said that there were job openings in the city. The boss Emira works for needs a maid because someone just came out.

I'm really overwhelmed with anxiety. I want to go to the city and work with Emira. Moreover, Emira said that her boss was very good and generous. However, I'm not sure Mas Ashraf will allow it. 

"I'd better just try to say it. Who knows," I murmured.