Return of Romantic Artists

Destruction in my Do'a

After 3 months of that incident my cousin knew what had happened to me. My cousin Chiko, who turns out to be a schoolmate with Reno.

Because of the incident I also started close with Chiko who never greeted even though we were brothers, in the end we often talked together.

It was just Chiko where I told the story. But one day in the mother's house who bernotaben as the mother of Chiko. It's just me and Chiko, where I feel like something's stuck, Chiko's acting weird. Unusually, those sharp eyes were pointing at me. I fear that what I once did will happen again.

I was silent as I held back my tears so as not to fall. In my heart I did’a.

“Yes Allah what will happen to me?” I said in my heart with tears in my eyes.

“What else will happen to me God?”.

“What kind of destiny will you give me, O God?” I said sobbing that I could no longer hold back those tears.

“For so long only the pain and destruction you have given me,” My heart is still in unacceptance of the destiny that has been outlined to me.

it turns out that Chiko did the same thing as her friend to me. Chiko harassed me. I'm speechless because Chiko has forbidden me from telling anyone anything.

I could only cry after it all happened. At the time of the incident I was still sitting in 6th grade SD. To this day, I still hide it from all my brothers and my parents.

For 2 years I lived with constant fear. Then shortly afterwards I got word that Chiko had Blood Cancer.

A week after I learned of the news, my family and I visited Chiko, who was lying weakly on the bed. There I was just thinking, “is this retribution for everything he has ever done?, I am not asking that you repay him in this way, I couldn't see his family being hit by economic problems, and now you give this to his family!,” I murmured inwardly as I entered the room where Chiko was being treated. As I spread my legs all over my body trembling, sweat dripped from my face and made my whole body drenched.

After a few minutes my family talked to Chiko's parents the doctor who treated Chiko came to ask permission to check on Chiko.

We who were outside the nursery Chiko continued to say’a for her recovery. Both of Chiko's parents can only sit, cry and do’a. Because of this incident I feel confused, has this whole time do’ me wrong?, has made both innocent people into the impact of all this. But on the other hand I still feel sad to remember everything that has happened to me.

After a few minutes, the doctor came out with a message. That when the doctor examined Chiko's condition, Chiko was already in a state of keritis which resulted in Chiko could not be saved anymore.

Day after day, month after month I feel that all this is a mistake for do’a that I have been saying all this time.When I sat on the Junior High bench I was still living with guilt and confusion. there is still no calmness in my life even though all types of abuse have stopped but God gave me another ordeal that I became a victim of bullying at school.

I don't know what my fault is so they always tell me to take this, to do this and so much more. Until one day I rebel no longer want to be their slave. But as a result they made a story out of what it is I do not know which makes almost everyone who knows me become hostile to me. Not wanting to be my friend, every hour the lesson starts and when the mother or father of the teacher pointed to the child to answer the question for sure they told me to go forward to solve all the problems.

Cheers for cheers I get when I go forward. Blasphemy for blasphemy I always get when I'm out of class, then loneliness that can make me calm even if only for a moment. Only in a quiet place can I vent all my feelings. I don't know that in terms of crying and screaming.

For 3 years I have experienced all forms of bullying that I got in Junior High. Because of all that I had the thought to end all this is to end my life so that I do not experience all this again. But when I hurt myself to ease this pain, there's someone who comes and encourages me and says that.

Everything you experience is in accordance with the measure of someone's ability. God will not give a test that his servant cannot bear. God only wants to sharpen the strength of our heart, soul and body. God knows and God loves everyone who has successfully completed or is able to survive the destiny that God has outlined.

God loves his servant who tries. Then all the trials were a form of my love of God to his servant. The more God gives the test, the more love we get and the greater the test we get, the greater the love of God for his servant.