RESTU (For you, Aleesa)

Chapters 182. Pov Grace's

POVS. GRACE

After the discovery of Yansen's clothes and cross necklace my heart ached immeasurably. I'm still desperate. I still hope for God's real miracles.

I re-read the last letter Yansen wrote for me. My heart aches when I read the last sentence that has a different meaning. For all my strength I reject this harsh reality.

My eyes were closed from the influence of medicine, but my mind wandered here and there. Thinking about my sister's condition. Looking at the news, it is unlikely that my sister could survive. However, I still have great hope in God, to the Father who always takes care of me and also Yansen.

I dreamt of meeting Yansen and my mom. They smiled so wide at me. Their faces are so shining. There's no word they say. They just look at me with eyes full of love.

"You're still alive. You won't leave my brother."

That's the word I said. That LP sentence I said to my sister who was hugging my mother's body. Yansen was still smiling, no words had yet come out of her mouth.

"If, you go .. take with you Brother. Don't leave your brother alone because you can't live alone here, without you. Remember our promise we'll be together."

I saw Yansen's eyes start to water. The smile on my mother's lips began to fade. My mom showed me her shoulder face. My mother showed me her sad face. He shook his head slowly indicating it seemed like I could not come along. I can't be with them for now.

"I also want to go with you, gather with you."

Yansen came closer and she hugged my body. I was crying in his arms. Things I never did in my life with Yansen.

"Don't precede God's destiny, Brother." that's what Yansen said. He broke his embrace, looking at my face so deeply. He smiled as he shook his head slowly.

"I must leave while Big Brother still has to stay. Wait till you pick up brother."

"Sister doesn't want to be alone. My sister has no one else. The most precious treasure that you have is you. If you go, you must go, brother must go."

I am still stubborn and I still stick with my stance, as well as my wish, which is to come with them. I miss my mother I want to hug her body too. I wanted to be hugged by her because for a very long time I had not felt the warm embrace of a mother. I also want to heal the wounds of my mother's death forever. Wounds that are getting deeper and harder to treat.

"Don't do it, Brother." Yansen.

"Many people still love my sister. Many still want to be next to Brother when Brother is like this. Actually, brother is surrounded by sincere people. People who are able to embrace Big Brother and love Big Brother without Big Brother expecting."

I was silent for a moment. What Yansen said is true. That sincerity I got from both of Aleesa's parents, Yansen's former lover. They both love me and take care of me. Even though I have done evil, they are still doing good.

I didn't say much to Yansen. Until he waved and said goodbye to me. I kept screaming loudly forbidding it. However, I could not stop my sister's steps with my sister.

"Yansen!"

I woke up from my sleep. The policemen standing guard outside panicked and went straight into the treatment room.

"Are you okay?" Grace shakes. He was looking for two figures he had met in the dream. Unfortunately, there is no.

If, remembering that dream, tears I can't stand it. I try not to believe it. I still hope Yansen will survive. A doA and a wish that I offer to the owner of the universe.

Many people predict that there will be no survivors. My heart is getting crushed, and my despair is getting thinner. My hope in God is like a joke.

"I have to keep believing that Yansen's still alive." I smiled while muttering. But my eyes can't lie to anyone.

Every time I hear the news of a plane crash, I want to be deaf. I don't want to hear bad news, but every time the police name the victim has been identified. I'm scared, and I hope Yansen isn't on the death list.

"There's still a hope I hold."

I see the police who are looking after me not sure of the hope I hold and me that I often say, but there is no harm I hope. There is no harm in waiting for a miracle. Nothing is impossible in this world when God has willed.

I was stubborn because he was the only brother I had. he's the only family I have in this world because from childhood I only lived alone without any relatives visiting us. If she wasn't there, I would be a child who doesn't know who to expect. He was the reason I survived until my age.

The Asa I held every day was getting thinner. Identified victims began a lot, but there is no name of my sister yet. I hope he survives. At least he didn't fly on that plane. However, his clothes and cross necklace were found first before the victim was found. I still shake my head. I'm still trying not to believe it. Try to stand up and try to be strong. Nor did he give up. I still hope God will be kind to me, still pity me to continue with my sister.

Grasping in an unusual heart made me have to keep holding on to my beliefs. It's hard and thin, but I'm trying to be sure that my sister's alive. My brother survived and did not fall victim to the plane. I'm not against fate, but I haven't found a certainty that my sister is alive or dead. I just want clarity not just conjecture.

When my faith began to grow back, I was instead visited by the Aleesas family. I was shocked and I was scared. Moreover, being stared at by Aleesa's husband so sharply and grudgingly. I feel like I'm in court. However, Om Radit greeted me very politely and gently. Also the smile that was expanding was so sincere on his face, but not with his daughter-in-law staring for the enemy. There's always guilt in my heart when I see Aleesa.

I didn't expect them to come see me just to give me something. A piece of paper in which contains heart-wrenching writings. I was told to read the writing. I'm rattled. I didn't know at first. Who wrote that? I had to read the handwriting. The handwriting that I know so well, the handwriting that I have read over and over again for three days. Yeah, it's my brother's handwriting, that's Yansen.

My eyes began to read word for word on the paper. I want to throw the letter away

Father, I'm ready.

Reading that was also my heart was already sick. I know my sister's advantages. I also know she's a frequency with Aleesa, but I didn't expect that she already had a premonition about her disappearance to leave a streak of ink for the person she loves.

Cuddle me and hide me behind Your burly back so that they cannot see me.

As much as I can, I hold back the tears. As much as I can I hold tightness in my chest. Reading this letter is more painful than the letter Yansen gave me. When I read, it is implied so in the meaning of that sentence. It will hurt even more when that sentence comes true.

Melt me with the sea water so that no sound of crying from them could be heard

I get the point. I know what that means, but again I refuse to believe I still believe that Yansen is alive. He couldn't have left me who was still here alone.

Make the sea water as the cure for longing for them when they remember me.

Why sea water? that's what I had in mind. Why not just be under the earth so that when we miss you we can come to see you. Under the sea what can we do? Just looking at the calm and sometimes surging sea water because of the sweeping waves are quite large.

I honestly could not help but cry when I read the author's name. I'm looking down inside. My body shook and luckily Aunt Echa hugged me. I felt the warmth for a moment. I felt loved for a while.

"Don't feel alone because there's Auntie and Om Radit who will keep looking after you and be next to you. You're Om's son and Aunt."

The Wingless Angel that God sent in my life. They were always by my side when I needed someone's hand. They never get tired, they never get bored, and they never hate me. Even though I was very bad for his son. I asked them why they were so good to me. I was evil to them. Their answers made my heart ache making my heart ache.

"A crime Never be repaid with the same evil, but repay with a good because that good will lead you to good cause later."

The calmness only lasted a moment. When Aleesa's family left my heart began to be beset with anxiety. I started to get scared of the ink graffiti coming true.

"Are you really dead, Sen? Why don't you believe it?"

I've forgotten all my sadness to the psychiatrist who handled me. I hope this burden of heart disappears. Turns out I was wrong. The burden and pain are still there. In the end, I gave up and decided to close my eyes.

I met Yansen again. Now, he's alone. He came up to me wearing the shirt found by Sar's team. Suddenly my eyes glazed over. Especially when his cold hand held my hand.

"Destroy the Asa Brother. Don't torture yourself, brother."

I nodded slowly. I started to touch Yansen's face cold as ice. Head shakes.

"I've been hugged by Father. I've been with Mamih. So, put down brother Asa. Don't expect more about me. Just take care of me and stop crying."

Tears that are as strong as I can bear to slide so swiftly. Yansen's words this time made me mute. My mouth felt bad and could not answer anything. My heart is like being hit by a big rock hearing it.

"The ink scribbles I wrote had a meaning, namely separation. My father has picked me up. The Father has extended his hand to me. There's no reason to dispute that." I could only shake slowly with tears that could not be held back.

"This is my life path. This has become my destiny. I have to face it." My sister looked deeply at me.

"The sea .. As from Mamih no .. I do have a desire if I go later I do not want to leave a trace. I want to be cremated and his ashes stamped into the sea. I don't want to keep crying if I'm under the earth. If I were in the ocean, you wouldn't be crying because I don't have a fixed place. I keep moving around carried by the waves."

I felt hypnotized when I heard Yansen explain this. I want to chim in, but my mouth is so twisted. His mouth was so tightly closed..

"I beg you, put your heart down and accept the fact that I am happy with my Father there. I'm sorry, I can't keep my promise to always be with you. Sorry, I'm leaving first. Goodbye, Brother. I love Brother."

My dream was so real that when I woke up my face was watering. My chest went up and down so fast. I'm looking for a psychiatrist who's with me. Turns out he doesn't exist. I also breathed a rough breath. I started to hold my seat. I digest my dreams well. Grabbing two pieces of paper filled with deep handwriting.

"What right?" I still can't believe it.

Read again two hard so that I did not feel my tears dripping so hard. In fact, I have memorized the contents of the handwriting of the sister, but still my tears are filled. How much it hurts my heart to read it.

I started to pick up the pen and write something behind the letter Yansen wrote. I write with a flat face, but with a roaring heart. I felt like I was replying to a love letter from my girlfriend. My head is tilted to the right and to the left when I reread my writing.

I put the paper back in the goody bag. The paper is now my precious item. I saw on the table a small fruit basket. My lips are starting to lift. Slowly, I got off the sickle bed and headed for the sofa. I stared at the fruit basket until a meaningful smile was engraved on my face.

#Pov End's.

"Sir, go to the hospital now. Grace-be".

Radit's body stiffened when he got the shocking news. He who had not taken a bath simply washed his face and rushed towards the hospital.

"Ba, where are you going?"

"To the hospital." Echa's forehead shriveled questioningly.

"Grace." Weak sentences that make Echa's body stiffen. He can't say anything.

"Mom come with."

There, the psychiatrist was leaning his body against the wall. The face full of regret was clearly visible. Fear also seems to. He looked over when the sound of such loud footsteps sounded. His body started to shake violently.

"Why did it happen?"

Raditya Addhitama's voice was so angry. He can't answer yet. His chest still shook violently. She was terrified by what she saw when she arrived at Grace's nursery.

"Did you leave him?" So strong and fierce that sentence.

The psychiatrist was silent. Radit snapped at him again, and it made him very, very surprised. Echa calmed her husband. However, the face of gram is still visible.

"I was called if my mother dropped her condition and was rushed to the hospital. At the time I couldn't think clearly I went straight away when Grace was sleeping so soundly. I guess she won't wake up when I'm gone." Rough gasps came out of the mouth of the psychiatrist who was treating Grace.

"I also thought I wouldn't be in the hospital for long where my mother was being treated, but in fact my mother had to go in ICU money and be treated intensely because of her critical condition. I also could not contact anyone because my phone was completely dead. I can't think of anything except my mother. I'm sorry for neglecting to keep the grass up to Grace like this." The sigater's head was still lowered in signaling he was truly sorry.

Gentle speech on Radit's shoulders makes his heart begin to soften. girlfriend is always in charge of maintaining Raditya Addhitama's emotions that now often explode. Just now Radit was about to open the sound of the ICU room door open one of the nurses began to panic and ran Not long ago the doctor also ran.

"Patient prayers, yes." The bodies of the three of them also stiffened.

...***To Be Continue*** ...

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