Past Times

I'm not a mistress

***POV BARREL***

When I just stepped inside the house, I saw that Huda was inside chatting with Mas Sigit.

Mas Huda has long harbored feelings for me, but I do not want to be in a relationship with anyone, I will focus on raising Chadi.

"Assallammualaikum Laraaas" Mas Huda greeted me gently.

" Wa'alaikumsallam mas." I politely replied to Mas Huda's greeting, but after that I went straight into the room leaving them.

" Hey Chadi. . ." I heard Mas Huda greeting me cheerfully

" Wa'alaikumsallam." Chadi was close to Huda but he never liked it when Huda approached me.

I watched from behind the door of my room which was still half-shuttered, Chadi stopped in the guest room and started chatting with Mas Sigit and Mas Huda.

" Surely Uncle Huda wants to see my mother right?" Chadi really dared to ask that to Mas Huda.

" Tell your mother, tell her to accept uncle. You'll ask me what I'll do." Mas Huda's speech was very blunt in front of a child Chadi's age

" My mother doesn't love Uncle." I smiled hearing Chadi answer like that

" Huu. . Do you know what you are a child about Love? Uncle just wants to keep your bundes and you."

" Chadi's father will be our guardian."

'DEGS'

Why Chadi spoke like that in front of Mas Huda, What CHadi actually wanted to be with mas Johan.

" Sigit's father you mean?. . . Let Father Sigit take care of Mother Saras and Sasi, you will let uncle take care."

" Not Sigit's father, Chadi's real father has returned as Huda's uncle don't bother Mother Chadi anymore."

Chadi came up to me in the room, "Why did you say that Chadi.?" I looked into his eyes deeply.

" Didn't Mommy also want to be happy with Chadi's father as well?" Chadi's question made my tongue stiff and unable to answer

" Aren't you Bun?"

"Chadi, your father can't be with us,"

" Because you already have a family?" Chadi wanted to push me, as if,.

" Mother also deserves to be happy, if indeed Mother does not want to be with father. Mother can be happy with others. Uncle Huda for example."

Lho! Why these? Why is Chadi talking like that. What does Chadi mean? I was amazed by his words.

" Why are you, son? Why do you talk like that."

" Chadi wants to have a father like other children, if Mommy does not want to marry Chadi's biological father then marry Uncle Huda."

Chadi langsunh left me alone, I was still shocked by Chadi's words just now, did Chadi miss the figure of the father all this time?, was not Sigit enough attention with him. Is all that less?

Unknowingly these tears are dripping, I can't believe if Chadi has harbored such feelings all this time, I have to how O ALLAH.

" Barrel!" Call Mas Sigit suddenly which surprised me. I immediately wiped away my tears that were still soaking in my cheeks.

" Laras is just a glint of gold," I tried to cover up my grief.

" You don't lie to Laras, I know there's something you're hiding."

" Right mas, Laras is okay. Mas Sigit what's calling Laras."

" This" Mas Sigit thrust his mobile phone at me, I looked at Mas Sigit confusedly.

" Call from Johan." Obviously, I shook my head not taking the call. But Sigit forced me to accept it.

" Mad stay first" Mas Sigit then said goodbye to me and left.

I stared at the little thing I was holding, I held onto my chest that was beating rapidly without anything spurring. What's wrong with me, why am I like this. Slowly I put it in my ear.

" Hello Assallammualaikum" I said.

" Hallo wa' alaikumsallam, you why Laras? What are you crying about? You're okay, right?" Mas Johan showered me with various questions, maybe he heard my conversation with mas Sigit.

" I'm fine, Mom." Answer lies.

"How are you?"

"Good God."

" I'm sorry I can't be there anytime soon."

" Don't you think about it, I'm used to it myself."

" Why are you talking like that?"

"Mas, be good there. I don't want to destroy something that's another woman's happiness."

" I have no intention of hearing your words just now Laras"

Why is Johan so selfish? Even though I hadn't seen him for a long time, it wasn't like Mas Johan I used to know.

" If you don't want to be with me Laras, then it's only Chadi that I bring."

Mas Johan threatened me, is this really Johan.

" Are you threatening me?"

" I'm sorry, I was just getting carried away with emotions. I still love you so much, Laras." My heart is not hearing it. I'm speechless.

"Do you not love me anymore, Laras?" Mas Johan's question buried my daydream.

" That feeling is still the same as Johan, but I didn't expect more. In this way you make me like a mistress."

" Why are you talking like that Baras."

" I'm sorry, I'm gonna take a break at night." In a hurry I immediately turned off the phone.

Once again I cried, I really was like a mistress. What the hell am I doing? Johan's wife must be suffering so much now, I don't want to disturb their happiness.

But what about Chadi's wish ?? O LORD, give me guidance.