Painful Love (Painful Love)

Apology to Emma

Emma was sitting limp on the sidewalk hugging her knees which were already feeling weak due to too much walking. His life suffered so much after parting ways with Bimantara. Emma cried sobbing at the piece of bread she had earned with great difficulty after begging from place to place. Living without a clear purpose. For him now, he could eat alone he was very grateful even though the food was used by others.

“Heh, homeless. Don't sit here! Make it dirty, ruin the view!” exclaimed a woman who had a shop in front of the sidewalk where Emma was sitting.

“Quick go! Could-can my customers reluctant to come because of the uncomfortable seeing you there!” the woman jolts while kicking Emma's body.

With tears flowing, Emma rushed away from the place and walked back with dragging steps while eating little by little the bread in her hand.

It was at times like this that his memory again revolved around the warm life he had with Bimantara. He fully realized that what he had done so far was very evil. If time could be turned back, he would go back to a time where his life was fine with Bimantara.

Emma continued to drag her feet walking further. He hopes to find a shady place far from the settlement in order to rest in peace without having to worry about being expelled.

Emma's feet stopped stepping as she watched Tsamara come out of one of the cafes she had just passed. Tsamara's appearance increasingly looks glowing, his face was as dry as if no burden approached. It is very different from Emma now.

Should I apologize to Tsamata? What if Tsamara refuses to forgive me and instead insults and berates me? inner Emma. He was wondering if he should see the woman or not. But if I don't apologize to Tsamara, I will continue to be haunted by a lifetime of guilt.

Emma shook weakly. On the one hand, he felt ashamed and felt unworthy to meet the woman. His completely messy condition made him want to run as far away from Tsamara as possible. However, Emma felt compelled to apologize to the woman whose husband she had taken.

“Tsamara,” call Emma at last.

Tsamara, who was opening the car door, turned to Emma who was just standing by the sidewalk. Tsamara was quite surprised to see the condition of Emma who was decile unkempt, completely messy.

"Tsa, who is he?" yudhistira asked, looking at Emma.

"He's Emma, Bima's second wife." Tsamara whispered to her husband.

Hearing the name of Bimantara, Yudhistira immediately put on a sour face. "You want what else is he? Not content to ruin your life all this time?" The two men's hands clenched perfectly to reveal the nail books.

Tsamara shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know. I'll meet him first. You just wait here."

Tsamara was about to step up, but her hand was blocked by her husband. "What if he did something bad to you? Like pushing you and then something bad happens to our prospective children, how?" Yudhishthira was very worried about the condition of his wife and eight-week-old fetus.

Tsamara cupped her husband's face and said, "Don't worry, I can take care of myself! Ehm .. or gini aja, suppose you see the gelagat is not right immediately approached me and take me away. How's it?" The woman offers a deal before they split.

Yudhistira seemed to think for a moment until he finally nodded his head in response. Then, Tsamara walked slowly because he did not want to do reckless and even harm himself. Especially at this time the age of the womb is still very young and he does not want the fruits of his love with Yudhistira to bear the consequences of his carelessness.

“Emma?” call Tsamara lirih. He looked at the woman in front of him carefully. The looks were quite different from the last time they met.

If Emma used to look so glamorous and classy, now there is only Emma with shabby negligee and unruly hair. Skinny body covered in bone.

"How can you be this? What happened to you all this time, Emma?” ask Tsamara confusedly.

Emma just smiled bitterly, understanding the meaning of Tsamara's gaze. “Long story, Tsa. But for sure, now I have picked the fruit for my past actions. My evil for having taken Bima, has been avenged by God."

"I just want to apologize for all the mistakes I've done to you. However, if you can't forgive me, I understand because my crimes can't be forgiven."

Tsamara only fell silent because she still could not believe what was happening. First, Emma suddenly appeared in this bad state, and the woman apologized to her?

"One more time, I'm sorry, Tsa." Emma turned her body and just ran. He left Tsamara still in place.

Emma kept running as fast and as far as she could. The shame can no longer be contained. Tsamara is a good person, but she has the heart to hurt the woman's feelings. Although regret still surrounds, but at least he has ventured to apologize to the first wife Bimantara.

***

Because there is still something stuck in the heart, Emma also headed to the house of Bimantara. During this time the name Bimantara again shone like before. Therefore, it is not difficult for Emma to know where the residence of both parents Bimantara.

Right now Emma is standing in front of the gate of a magnificent mansion. He did not dare to go inside. For this reason, he waited while holding his stomach that hurt.

Emma's ex-husband stops the car and opens the car door and asks Emma to come inside.

“Emma,” muttered Bimantara in disbelief as soon as he saw the condition of his ex-wife.

Who could believe that an Emma could be such a tramp?

“Hai,” greet Emma while panting.

“You why be gini?” ask Bimantara surprised.

“Life is hard and I live my bad luck. You how are you?” ask Emma slowly.

Bimantara shook his head slowly.

He knew living in a big city like this was not easy. But how does Emma become a tramp?

“I'm good,” is just that sentence coming out of Bimantara's mouth.

“Bima .. I want to apologize to you. So many sins are with you. I know I shouldn't have shown my face in front of you anymore, but this guilt seems to be suffocating me. I met with Tsamara and apologized to her too, now I have to apologize to you,” Emma said while looking down. He did not dare to raise his eyes to look at Bimantara.

“Emma, it’s okay. I'm sorry you, everyone has made mistakes,” said Bimantara slowly.

Emma smiled with relief at the reply from Bimantara. He thought Bimantara must have hated him so much. It is not easy to forgive and forget what he did.

“I know, I don't deserve to say this, but ...” Emma hung up her sentence.

He was thinking whether he should continue his words or not.

“But what?” ask Bimantara confused.

“Will you accept me back? I promise I won't make the same mistake. We were once very happy first,” pinta Emma with great care.

Bimantara was silent, he then turned his eyes to the street in front of him. The man then took a deep breath.

With a gentle look, he turned to Emma who was waiting for her answer.

“Sorry, I can't.” Bimantara said that.

“Why? Is it because I look so bad? I'm sure I can definitely go back to being beautiful after taking a shower and taking care of myself again.” Emma said quickly.

Bimantara shook his head weakly, then looked deeply into Emma's bead. “Not because of that, I want to start my life in a new way. I want to start all over and look for happiness. Emma, I can't go back with you. I have failed twice in my home life. So, before I remarry, I want to turn into a much better and well-established man. I hope you understand, yes.”

Hearing the rejection from Bimantara, Emma also lowered her head and hard to hold back tears so as not to flow more. His heart ached from this rejection. However, he also realized that everything that happened was the fate of the Creator.

"All right, I get it. I hope you are always happy. Again, I'm sorry." Emma was about to leave, but Bimantara held her back.

“This is not how much, but you can use this,” said Bimantara while giving all the cash he had.

At first Emma refused, however she had some self-esteem. But Bimantara did not release his ex-wife before receiving money from her. By force, Emma received the money and rushed down from Bimantara's car.

To be honest, Bimantara did not have the heart to release Emma in such a way. But he has no other choice. He no longer wants to deal with his past. As Emma had said, she wanted to live a new life and become a much better person.

"May you find your own happiness even if you are not with me." Bimantara still looked at Emma with a pushy look.

...***...