OWNER OF HEART

The eps 47

Early in the morning, the door of the room was knocked. A worker at the house of Eyang Utie, told the two of us to immediately follow him towards the dining room, to enjoy the morning meal. Before finally I and Rashid continued to move to Mom's house in Muntilan.

Rashid decided to take a sip of sweet tea and eat a fried bread. He had already apologized to Eyang, for not eating the cooking at home. Rashid wanted to enjoy a meal on the way to Magelang.

After all our luggage was sorted into the red suitcase. Now is the time, my husband and I say goodbye to the big family. Then, order a taxi to Magelang.

Actually, PakDe offered to drive us. However, I rejected it subtly. Because Rashid wants to stop by the UGM roundabout. Usually Sunday morning, in the roundabout is held many snacks. The right place to fill the stomach before activity.

"New clients aren't tired? Early in the morning are you leaving for Muntilan?" Say to both of us. Which makes me and Rashid look at each other.

I nodded, "yes no, not even Eyang..."

"But what's part?"

"No," I shook my head, "the reason Mheta misses Mom. Yeah, isn't it, Mas?" Tukasku looked back at Rashid.

"Yes Eyang, from last night Dek Ayu was impatient to see Mom soon." Rashid.

"Yes, be careful... Cah Nice, Cah Ayu... Greetings to your mother." Tukas Eyang Utie before we passed into the taxi that was ordered by Rashid, about ten minutes ago.

******

It was late in the afternoon, when Rashid and I arrived at Mother's house. Perhaps, because we had stopped too much in places that Rashid had never visited.

Mother is seen concluding her sweet smile on the veranda of the house. Welcomed us who just got off the taxi. I put my feet up which now feels light. There are still traces of crying in the heart. When Mom let me go for a man who has now legally become my halal partner.

Soon I grabbed Mom's body, drowned this part of her body in her warm embrace. I was separated for a week from my mother. That longing is truly blasphemous. Don't know why? I'm used to living far away from my parents. However, this time I really felt like I had never lived far apart with mom. Is it possible because after Dad's departure, I'm reluctant to leave Mom alone? Or, because I am now a wife. Not as Mheta the nomadic girl who wants to know everything she dreams of? I don't know.

Longtime. For a long time I was swept away in the arms of a woman who looked a little fine wrinkles on both temples and her forehead. Spilling all the longings that have been held for a week.

"Don't cry, be ashamed of your husband.." Mom, loosened her arms, washed away the tears that were dripping down my cheeks.

"Where is your trip from Jakarta, Jogja and ends in Muntilan here? Tired?" continued.

I spontaneously shook my head. "We're even grinning, aren't we, Mas?"

"Yes Mom. We enjoyed the trip..."

"You guys ate? I have prepared food. Want to eat right away..or? Want to take a shower first." Mom's eyes seemed sparkling staring at us in turn.

Rashid and I answered in unison, if we chose to clean our bodies before walking to the dining room to eat the dishes that Mother had prepared.

******

"So how close were you?"

What kind of question is that?

After entering the room I had left for a week. Rashid opened his chat by asking me about Daffa. I just answered that at that point. Not wanting to feel, Rashid knew about our closeness that had been predicted by the neighbors would end up in the guarantee.

"I never asked Daffa. How close were we?" tukasku flat.

"Yes, but Daffa never answered. He just said you were good. That's all."

I stopped the activity for a moment. Put a change of clothes on the nightstand. Attaching a towel to the right side of the shoulder. Then walk towards Rashid who is looking at the collection of books neatly arranged on the closet shelf. He seems to want to take a book by Seno Gumira A.

"Whatever Daffa tells me about me is the same. Yes that's me. And that's how close we are. So, there's nothing to ask anymore." as far as I'm concerned, I deliberately emphasize a little. In order for Rashid to know, if there is nothing to discuss between me and Daffa.

"Keep... Ye know? Why didn't he come to our wedding?"

This time, Rashid's question made me want to stuff his mouth with the book he was holding.

"He has business..."

"Rushan? What does this have to do with the heart?"

I closed my mouth with both hands. Something warmed up in the chest. Not just warming up, this time more on the word heat. "Then, if you know. Why do you keep marrying me?" For me in my heart.

I didn't answer. Choosing to step foot into the bathroom.

*****

Adzan Magrib echoed. The muezzin's voice broke the frenzy throughout Magelang City. Rashid looked out the window. He lifted the curtain until he could see the orange sky that had faded.

Until the end of the Adhan, Rashid's position was still perched in front of the window. Nothing changes before or after the Adhan.

Ever since he asked me this afternoon about Daffa. Rashid spends so much time just to be alone. In fact, when we were eating dishes that had been cooked by Mother. It seems Rashid is not passionate to eat these dishes. After dinner. He said goodbye to her, wanting to rest in the room. While I intentionally, chat with my mother on the porch of the house. While enjoying the twilight red saga, occasionally interspersed with the melodious sound of goats whose cage is located behind the house.

"Mas, let's pray?" take me to Rashid. Trying to melt the atmosphere created between the two of us.

"You pray. Mas, want to pray in mushollah." he said as he passed by.

*****

"Daffa? Did you tell Rashid about us?" A quick message I sent to my little friend's number.

Tick one.

My heart is beating, there is a feeling of worry. Something will happen to me or Daffa, perhaps? I don't know Rashid, what is he really like? A week will never be enough to dive into one's nature, right?

After finishing the prayer, I sat on the lips of the divan. Staring at the cell phone perched on the nightstand. Hope the phone will be circulated by Daffa's message.

However, nil.

*****

Rashid asked me to sit on the porch. Exactly at nine o'clock at night, Mother also said goodbye to rest first.

For some reason, it feels like something is not right in the heart. My feelings began to be uncomfortable, when on the porch only stayed me and Rashid.

His eyes occasionally looked at me in a daze. In fact, he concluded a smile. Either the smile is sincere, or vice versa.

"You haven't answered Mas's question this afternoon?"

My chest suddenly tightened.

It's beyond a doubt. At first I thought Rashid would forget about the question to me.

Rashid smiled. A moment ago I saw Rashid for a moment. Maybe holding back feelings or something. I could understand, because throughout his question about Daffa, I only answered accordingly. He asked about our closeness. I choose silence.

"Sekedat what?"

Rashid repeated his question this afternoon.

I'm confused as to what to answer.

"Me and Daffa have been friends since we were kids. He's the only guy who's never said 'no' to me in my entire life, after my late father. He always tried to be the best man in front of me. Until we became adults. In the end, we had to leave each other. Because we've found each other's front. Is something wrong?" I hurriedly exhaled.

Rashid fell silent, perhaps he was digesting the words I had just spoken.

"About Mheta? Would you rather be called by that name?" Rashid was seen throwing a glance towards the sky which happened to be starless tonight.

I try to smile, even though this heart really wants to rebel.

"If Mheta's problem... It's up to them, to call me by what name. As long as they're comfortable and don't hurt." I said.

"Mas feels you and Daffa have a relationship beyond your friendship." later, this time he took a standing position, then leaned half his body on the porch of the house.

"If you think like that? Then, why did you still want to marry me yesterday?" I was spontaneous, with a higher pitch.

"Perhaps, this desire to have is stronger. Rather than being curious about who people are close to you, Dek. It's night, we're on rest. I'm going to Jakarta tomorrow."

"If your curiosity is stronger than your curiosity about who I am... You shouldn't be asking about Daffa right now!" I said, "We never had a relationship, we were just friends, nothing more. Even in the dictionary of my life, there is no dating term, you can ask anyone who knows me, I am not a woman who likes to change girlfriends. That's what you should know!"

This time I really couldn't control my anger. I passed from Rashid to the room.

If Rashid had been reading me, he probably would never have asked me about my mass, right?