OWNER OF HEART

The Eps 28

Early morning. Behind the window, orong-orong gave the end of the season. Bringing the rest of the rain that has not yet reached his address. Sometimes I joke, is it the same rain? Who ever stayed in your house? I also said that rain is the farthest wanderer ‘kan?

One week after my conversation with my mom about marriage. Now I've studied the marriage filing file with a Rashid. So far, I have never met Rashid after our first hospital meeting. But how else. As the saying goes, ‘Stupid is a secret of God, which no human can guess.’

This is my path of destiny, and I must accept it with the best of acceptance.

*****

Early in the morning, as usual I prepared all the needs of the mother, before leaving for Puskesmas. For two days now, I was accepted to work as a medic at the Muntilan health center.

The sound of goats in the cage behind the house sounded so loud.

“Mheta..” the voice of Daffa calls from the direction of the cage.

I saw it from behind the kitchen window. “tumben early in the morning, very diligent?” I said while shaking.

“Let his fortune not be pegged chicken,” Daffa chuckles. “you're working today?”

I nodded, “why?”

“Depart what time?” Daffa asked.

I turned to the clock above the kitchen door, “eight quarter.”

“Sekarnag what time?”

“Six over ten minutes. Why?”

“I want to talk to you. You're not busy, are you?”

I showed the spatula I was holding. “nih,” I was silent for a moment. “emang want to chat what? Early morning ngajakin ghibah. Sin!” i chuckle.

“I'm serious, I want to chat with you.”

I'm silent. Daffa was silent as well.

“Ya.” My speech.

Daffa walked to the window, standing behind my kitchen window.

“chat what? Paddy field problems? Or garden?” i asked.

“Kita..”.

“Haah.”

“I won't go..”

“You mean?”

Daffa silence.

“Hei... What do you mean, Daf?”

“I will not go to Korea. I'm not going to see Nadia.”

“Jeez, Daffa! You are a man. Fight for what you deserve to fight for, not to regret.”

“Just now, I'm fighting for it.”

“Haah?”

“Here.”

Instantly I choked.

“After I turn off the stove first.” I walked to the stove and turned it off, “Daffa. What do you think Nadia is?” I said after turning off the stove and heading towards Daffa.

“We haven't had any commitments yet, Mhet. And I've done it since yesterday-yesterday.”

I shut my mouth. “why are you? Don't play women's hearts.”

“Sorry, Mheta. I can't imagine living with other people, with memories of all time from the time you were born until today.”

“Yes Allah.” I massaged my forehead with both palms.  “But I..”.

“Mheta.. I'm not asking you to forget, Pengelana.”.

My head feels throbbing. It was simply unexpected that Daffa would speak like that.

“If you can't accept me, at least give me a chance until I'm ready to go.”

This time I completely buried my face in both palms. I told you, Daffa was a good friend. Can I forgive myself if I hurt him? I don't know.

“Daffa...” My throat is like a clogged spatula. “I'll get married.” My voice is raucous.

Seen the face of Daffa suddenly shocked. “married? By the way you mean? Didn't you say she already has a boyfriend?”

“—married does not have to be with someone we want, Daf?” my eyes suddenly warmed up. “I'm sorry.”

I was stuck, unable to answer Daffa's question on this one. Because I also didn't know, was I really going to marry that foreigner? Or on the contrary, a marriage that was predicted by my mother, will fail before going up.

“Alright, Mhet. I know your answer. Rashid is a good and shale young man. Even he's a very accomplished young man. About career. You don't have to question it anymore.” Daffa's voice shook.

“I'm sorry, Daffa.”

Daffa smile pias. “nothing, Mhet.” He sighed. “at least I have fought for my love. And now, I just want to see you happy.”

My view is blurred. There are chrisatal circles breaking through my fortress. “I'm sorry..” my voice is hoarse.

I saw Daffa suddenly leave without saying goodbye. Surround the gripper by dragging a hoe.

How strange are humans. Who is waiting for who. Who is chasing who. Who leaves who. My throat hurts thinking about that. But in this life, sometimes making good and right decisions is not always easy, right?

****

Twilight at the end of Magelang city, feels so good. I am a connoisseur of twilight. I don't know since when I liked the copper-red sun when the afternoon greeted me. I immediately parked the bike in front of the house. Experiencing mothers who are enjoying the atmosphere of the afternoon by sweeping the yard.

“Where are you working today? you work at Puskesmas?” ask mom after returning my greetings.

I smiled as I hugged my mother's body, “Alhamdulillah smoothly, Mom. Home kok.”

Today puskesmas quite crowded by patients sick with fever and cough. It may be the result of erratic weather changes. It should be this month, summer stopover in our city. However, BMKG predictions are sometimes not always true.

“Mheta..” call mom, when I was taking my shoes off at the house.

I turned my head towards mom, “iya, Bu?”

“Where? Have you decided on the Rashid file?” she smiled as she walked towards me.

While removing the jacket, I told mom, “all decisions are in Mom's hands. Mheta massage aja.” What kind of answer is that. I should have answered that I was not ready and I would never be ready to

edited by a Rashid.

Mom looks sumringah. I can't possibly wipe that smile into tears, can I? I don't want to see you sad, especially when you only have me. I should be able to make my mother happy. Even though I had to sacrifice my feelings again.

****

I don't know how long it's been, me and Pengelana don't rebuke. I saw the name on whatsapp was far away, indicating that we never communicated.

I grabbed a laptop to write some articles I haven't sent from yesterday. After completing my task. I'm now crawling into facebook. Looking at the literary group, there is a new short story upload. I immediately read the short story.

Visible account Travelers provide a comment on the account that upload short story

the, “passion to keep working.”

“Hei how are you..” I typed it, but I hurriedly deleted it.

Why the name of the Traveler has never gone out of my mind, just a day. I'm not missing him, am I?

As I was thinking about the wanderer, suddenly my phone circulated. A message came in.

Roamer. Yeah, he sent a message. My chest feels tight when I want to open the message.

“Good friend. How are you doing there? Sorry I haven't called you in a long time.”

What kind of message is that? Why do travelers suddenly call me a good friend? Isn't that the word I've been saying to him?

I glare. Like a dream, a traveler called me a good friend. It's been a few months since he never sent me a message again.

“I'm good.” No. I deleted that before I sent it to the traveler. “Where have you been, why did you just say?” Oh my God, there's no way I would send such a message to him. “Since when do you consider me to be your best friend?” what kind of sentence is that? Everyone has the right to send such a message. “Alhamdulillah.” I finally chose the phrase to send to the Traveler.

Offline travel. Where is he, why do you like to make people stuck by his behavior?

A few minutes after I put my phone on the other end of the table, the little thing came back to circulate. A message came in.

“Assalamualaikum.” message from foreign number who ever sent me a message.

My eyebrows intertwined, thinking who exactly was the sender of the message?

“Waalaikum greetings.” I finally got that greeting message.

“Ayu, how are you?”

“Who are you? Know whose number this is from?” I breath out, waiting for a reply.

Someone replied to my message a few seconds later, “I'm your future priest. I got your number from Mother.”

Deg. My blood flow stopped immediately. My heart beats in an irregular way. “prospective priest? Is he Rashid?” I thought of the message's sentence.

“Rasyid.”

“Iya, I am Rashid. Sorry if I want you to be my life partner.”

I shut my mouth. Rashid's message was like stuffing my esophagus with his PDL shoes. My eyes are heating up. Body fighting. I put my phone on the table. Close laptop. I may walk to the shower soon. Dousing your face with cold water. Read istigfar as much as possible. “why my asmarau this mess?” my voice is raucous.