OWNER OF HEART

PERSONIFICATION

We can never guess who will meet in this life. Like you and me, who never planned to go near each other. We were met in a very heavy season, trying to share shade on an empty bench. Before the end, someone takes us to a different place. Then, the season is colored by small stories, pieces of images, video pieces, to song passages.

No one knows where this story will go. All I know is that I just don't want between us to hurt each other, even though actually, there are two pairs of hearts that are on the verge of opening, because of us.

I want you to know, I'm so tired of going through it all with pretense. Pretending to laugh behind a cry, pretending to be okay, being runaway. Pretending to be happy, while the taste is torn. Actually I don't want to hurt anyone more, just because of you. Can you give me certainty? Can you begin to have a voice, if we need each other, long before we have a house each so tiny, even a house we live in a different place, said the people so peaceful, cold again simple.

No one knows how much we put time bombs in each of those tiny houses. How we are like sheep-furred goats. I don't know what we deserve. Clearly, God is involved in this matter. I need you, and on the contrary, you need me too.

I never imagined, there would be such a difficult situation. Because ever since I've known you, all I've dreamed about is our future, not with him or who he is. Even with you, you never wanted a marriage with someone who wasn't me.

*****

One day, I received a message in the form of a song called DEALOVA, sung by the maestro Once Mekel. If not wrong, the song was sung by the legendary in 2005, previously the song created by Opic was sung directly by its creator.

I don't know what he meant, he sent me a song with the title. Maybe he's not sleeping well. I tried to play the song four times. However, I still don't understand what that means. If you hear the lyrics like a hopeful person, maybe. But, I don't know. Obviously, I never asked, what does it mean to sing me the song.

And it all seemed to be an opium to me. I'm getting used to, even arguably the dependence to play the songs you send via a message through a mobile phone. As if accompanying the chapters of the story that I assembled.

I started to ask you, "is there something coincidental in this world?"

You say, "coincidence or luck may be on those who don't believe in destiny."

And I asked again, "if you believe what?"

"You," you replied.

I also kept quiet, weighing the answers.

Now past midnight. The songs you sent were still flowing, accompanying me in a vacuum. Though almost every day we are together, but I still fight me with a question that you keep hanging, he replied.

And if you believe Seno Gumira A, that writing is a way to keep talking, then. This is how I get a message out to you.