ON THE EDGE OF LONGING

14. Adam's restlessness

"Pa, I know papa will do all kinds of things for Azriel and Sheila's happiness, but giving my eyes to Shayma is not a good decision. What if Azriel knows what you're doing? pa, I want you to consider everything wisely."

Adam could not accept his papa's decision to donate his eyes to Syabila. Adam did want an eye for Syapala but he never thought that his papa would just give up his eyes for her. Adam could not understand the thought path of the father who continued to insist on his decision.

"Adam, this is all you can do for them. Papa only wants to atone for the sins of papa on both of them, because of the cowardly attitude of the old father when he had to lose his sight and also his parents, because papa Azriel filled his life with evil ambitions. Papa has ruined their life Adam." Obviously Ajie Wiguna, with a face filled with regret.

"Pa, what you've been doing for them is enough to make up for all the mistakes of papa in the past, and you have to remember, om Taher and Aunt Dewi accident not because papa, papa, it's not papa's sin then why should papa bear it all for life."

"It's Adam, it's all papa's fault, and papa wants to fix it all. Papa's decision is round, papa will donate papa's eye to Syapila. After all, you're not happy because the girl you love for a dozen years now will soon be able to see your handsome face."

"Pa, this is a serious matter! okay fine, I really want to see if I can come back, but not in this way. What about my own life? if you're blind who's gonna take back Azriel's property from the beast man."

"Adam, watch your talk! papa doesn't like you talking rudely about your om, even though he's still your om."

"But pa..."

"that's enough Adam! papa wants to do all this, papa doesn't want to regret for the second time. I hope you can appreciate your decision!"

Adam was completely speechless, he did not know what he had to say anymore to persuade Ajie to reverse his decision. Since that day, Adam was seen carelessly, all his work was neglected, even repeatedly he was reprimanded for his negligence in his duty. Adam seemed to lose his mind, he really did not believe what his father did. 3 days Adam did not come home, he did not come home, he continued to spend his time in his study even he was seen wearing the same clothes for 3 days. He just wrestled with his mind.

"Ang Adam!"

Amar's loud voice was not even able to resuscitate Adam from his frustration, even when Amar entered his room, he was still dissolved in his slump.

"Abang! What is Brother thinking? let's tell you what really happened!" Pinta Amar and immediately sat on Adam's desk.

"Abang wants to be alone, go!" Adam closed his eyes, slowly tears began to drip from the end of his eyes.

"Om say that you haven't been home for 3 days? what the hell is it? is he fighting with you?"

"It has nothing to do with papa. Come back to college, don't bother you."

"I'm not going anywhere before you tell me, I'm worried, and the nurse just told me that it's been 3 days that you've just sat here without moving at all, tell me does this have anything to do with papa?"

"Amar, once again Abang said that this is a personal matter of Brother, has nothing to do with you, papa or om Bram. So please live me alone!"

Adam tried to get up from his chair but suddenly his legs seemed to be unable to move, Amar immediately held Adam's hand and helped him stand.

"Now, see for yourself, right? this is the result of your stubbornness, who told you to stay here for 3 days." Amar muttered with annoyance mixed with worry.

Amar tried to guide Adam to rest on the sofa, at that time also the door of the room again opened, with a rough hand Kania slammed the door until his voice was enough to make the whole room aghast in shock. Kania's running footsteps immediately stopped in front of Adam, and Kania's hand violently clasped Adam's face, leaving Adam and Amar speechless.

"Elo crazy! what the hell is in your brain? before you were so enthusiastic to find an eye for Syapala and now after Syaphen get an eye donor even you carelessly like this, what are you hiding from me, quickly say!" Murmured Kania with anger, even his face was clearly flushed red and his eyes were so fierce, yes he looked like a raging tiger.

"What's? What did the doctor just say? If I get an eye donor, I didn't hear wrong, did I?" Ask the excited Amar.

"Yes and now he's doing some checks..." Kania's explanation came to a halt when Adam's hand touched Kania's shoulder. Adam looked closely at Kania.

"Amar, accompany Shaynah! tell him that everything will be fine, this time he will definitely be able to do the surgery, he will soon be able to look back." Adam's Pinta.

"Okay, okay. Doctor, I'm bringing Brother Adam, yes, I want to see my little angel first."

After Amar's departure, Kania helps Adam to walk to the sofa, and the two sit there. Kania, who still does not understand Adam's behavior, still looks faithful waiting for an explanation from the friend. Adam understood that right now Kania was waiting for his explanation. For a moment of silence and then try to take a deep breath and throw it rough, after he felt calmer, Adam set his eyes on Kania, then tried to explain the situation.

"Actually..me, me..." Adam was silent again, his mouth as if silent, he could not continue his speech, which there were even more tears flowing profusely wet his cheeks.Slowly Kania's hand patted Adam's shoulder, Adam's, he tried to calm his friend.

"I've never seen you this bad as Adam. I know you love Syapala, I know everything. I know that Syapala is a little girl in your past, and I also know that you love her very much. But what I don't understand is, why do you behave like this when you get an eye donor? haven't you been running around trying to find a donor for her?"

"I'm, I'm confused, right now I'm really confused!"

"What are you afraid of, right? Are you afraid that she will choose Amar over you?"

"That's not what I'm afraid of, and if it's ever more comfortable and happy with Amar, then I'll let it go. Amar is better than me!"

"Huh, you don't get Adam's ass, you don't have to be a hero, because I know you're actually afraid that I'll leave you.'

"No, I don't have a problem with that at all."

"Then what's been messing you up for these 3 days?"

"Do you know who donated eyes to Syapila?"

"No, after all, the donor's request to keep his identity secret from all parties. All I know is that the director of the hospital knows who the donor is, and it seems like something is awkward, why only the director can know, but it's important, if you can donate an eye."

"Sister Kania, the eye donor for Syapila is papa!" Clearly Adam with a downcast look and tears coming back.

"You're kidding, right? why are you doing all that?"

"I don't know either!"

"Did Ajie know that you love Syaba?"

"Papa's decision is not because of my feelings towards Shaba, but you do it because Shaba and Azriel are the ones you have to protect."

"You mean?"

"Here you go, brother, I don't want to talk about it anymore, I'm going crazy with all this!"

"Adam, relax!"

"Where can I calmly try, after this papa will lose his sight, then who will take care of them both? and what should I do? me, i..."

Adam was increasingly unable to control himself, his hands were clutching his hair.

"I don't know what the relationship between Ajie and Syabila and Azriel is, but one thing you should know about Adam, if all this must have been thought out carefully by Ajie, trust me everything will be fine"

"Hopefully. Sis, make sure the operation goes well, I want to see Syapala again, and I don't want to sacrifice papa in vain."

"I'll try my best to Adam."

"Thank you brother!"***