Notes Without Title

Doubt

"Yes, it's Ghai."

Nea turned to look at Derren. Her tears fell as soon as she saw the figure of Derren, her long-gone best friend but miraculously returned to her side. Nea immediately changed her position from falling asleep to sitting down, for some reason but, suddenly, Derren could be touched by Nea. His body staggered down into Nea's arms.

"sorry. Sorry for being put on it at the time," Nea said sobbing.

Arka, who heard Nea's cry, immediately pulled away the curtain that covered Nea's bed in the hospital. Once aware of what Nea was doing, Arka again closed the curtain. Arka tries to eliminate all preconceptions and public views on Nea, he then brings the person he just threatened to be brought into the realm of law if Nea does not open her eyes until tomorrow.

"What's up Nea? Don't be gini, I'm so confused" Derren said.

"Awhile, just a minute until I can turn a sesek in my chest," said Nea.

Ghai smiled softly, for some reason. The memory Nea had just obtained suddenly appeared as a new memory for Ghai. It was like sharing a memory without Ghai having to feel pain like before.

"Would I have Arka call a doctor for ilangin as soon as you?" ask Derren.

"Necessary. I don't need anything because the medicine is in front of my eyes right now" Nea replied.

The roar of steps was heard, Fai and Balqis were the culprit. Fai opened the curtain quickly then immediately hugged Nea as soon as he saw her. As a result, Derren is squeezed by Nea and Fai. It was Balqis who was in charge of re-closing the curtains of the public hospital.

"Nee! You okay?" ask Fai.

"Yes I'm okay."

"Why do you cry?" ask Fai again.

"Gue kangen's. I miss my best friend, Ambrosius Derren Ryker," Nea replied.

Derren who was previously busy dodging and releasing the embrace of the 2 people who are now squeezing him, suddenly shut up and received the hug. He relaxed his body, letting the warmth from Nea and Fai spread to his body.

"You're inget? What memories came to your head?" ask Derren.

Nea was silent, no intention of answering. Ghai who saw it intended to stroke Nea's head, but stopped remembering his untouched body. Balqis watched, he saw Ghai's movements.

"Udah dong hugs her, kasian Derren stuffy in hugs you keep. That Ghai wants some wine too?" ask Balqis.

Nea finally took off her embrace for Derren, as did Fai. Suddenly the curtain reopened, now Nea's parents appear.

"Are you okay?" ask Nea's father.

"Yes, it's okay to reward" Nea replied.

Unlike Esha-Mama Nea-who prefers to hit her son's arm hard when she hears from Arka that his daughter is in the hospital. Given Yaza's explanation of how Nea could get here which made him ride the apoplexy.

"Nga! Why are you squatting in the middle of the road?! Thank goodness Arka cepet saved you!" Esha.

"Aw! Sick ma! Nea could have been treated here for a mama's blow" Nea said.

"You are the ngaco! Don't you love what the mother's heart is like?!" ask Esha.

"It's okay, anyway! Just fainted doang. Why anyway? Arka doang are more likely to be taken to all hospitals," said Nea.

"God! It can't be, " whispered Ghai.

Again, Balqis noticed Ghai. He laughed at the romantic actions of his 2nd best friend. Nea who heard it immediately shut her mouth, replacing the next chatter with an eye delicacy.

"It looks like I'm okay but, if you are the same aunt Esha and om Fajar, my eyes are skewered!" ghai's Perspiration.

Balqis was getting more and more open to hearing it, as was Fai. Esha who saw Fai and Balqis laughing started scratching the back of the head.

"Why? Aunty fierce huh?" ask Esha.

"Not a tan! Funny to see haha" replied Fai.

"This is Balqis? Yesterday's permission to take a vacation to villa Nea?" ask Esha.

"Yes aunty, greetings," said Balqis.

"Yes, greetings too" replied Esha.

The curtain reopened, now Yaza is coming. His eyes looked tired, for some reason.

"Yes, that's okay. Why is everyone like me almost dead anyway?!" ask Nea.

"Think of yourself" replied Derren.

"The doctor said you can go home" said Yaza.

"Thank you Yaza, from earlier you are the same Ark who paced back and forth Nea," said Esha.

Nea who heard it immediately looked at Yaza. Is the reason for his tiredness today Nea? Ah, goddamn. Nea felt guilty and owed Yaza another debt.

"The same Nea is tan, relax," replied Yaza.

"Yes already. Yuk get ready to go home. You guys wanna go play at Nea's house first?" ask Esha.

"Not a aunt. We go home, Nea may need a break" replied Balqis.

Arka finally came. He immediately stood next to Yaza while holding some sheets of paper.

"Thank you very much, my dear Arka. If there were no you, Nea might have gone" Esha said.

Arka stared at Ghai who had lowered his head earlier. In reality he was not alone in helping Nea, there was Ghai who was equally helping Nea today. For example, when negotiating, cooling the head of the Ark, keeping Nea, and helping Arka in consulting with doctors.

Yaza also did not lose participating today to Nea. The first person to go straight to the hospital when he was told about Nea was Yaza. Indeed not during the Ark that accompanied from the beginning, Yaza came there about after the Ark was finished with administrative affairs and consultations. Yaza came in a condition that looked quite bad, again, no one knew the reason.

Nea was brought home. Leaving his 6 friends who ended up going home to each other, except Arka and Fai.

***

"Yaza sok really. Tumben's a long-time bales boy" complained Nea.

Nea was lying on her bed. Looking at the contents of his last message with Yaza ending up with readable status without reply, it somehow felt annoying. Is this how Yaza felt when Nea chose to ignore his message? Okay, Nea promised from now on she wouldn't linger about replying to messages from others.

Nea finally got up from the mattress, picked up a piece of paper in a brownish color. He ended up at his desk. Together with his pen, Nea begins her new record.

Note Without Title pt.2

Knowing the harsh reality is painful. Derren's long gone but, why does it feel so heavy? Is it possible that I will be strong enough to accept another new reality? Who might be coming soon?

Realizing that we are getting closer to the hidden truth, why does it feel scary? Is it because of this self that is still not ready to accept the reality? Or because you are afraid of yourself?

Is it possible to ask for time to play back? Too many questions today that make the sense of self-confidence fade slowly. Can you blame someone for this? If so, please lead me to the hidden truth, so that I can blame who is most worthy of blame. If reality is that terrible, please make me lose my sense and emotions. Let me just heartily dispel her trust.

20/1/2019

From him who is missing

***

This morning Nea woke up without a spirit. For some reason, doubt has weighed too much on him lately. All because of the memory of Derren's death that led him to a new character named Arsa. If noticed, Arsa is too attached to Ghai. Is it possible that the cause of everything is Ghai? I don't know, Nea doesn't want to think about that kind of reality.

On the one hand Nea also had time to doubt many things about Renren. The only memories that have not been fully intact are who Renren is and what the reason behind the letter he had found in the Ark's boarding house. Nea was caught off guard, she wanted to ask the truth to those who knew.

Another strange thing, Yaza looked slowly away. Everything seemed to add to Nea's nervousness over this mystery. Plus if you remember again, Nea is close at the end of January, where it means the time left to solve all this is only 3 months away. Will Nea be able to solve everything within 3 months?

On the sidelines of his daydream today, suddenly a message came in. It was Yaza, the person Nea had been looking for in the past 1 week. Nea quickly opened her phone and replied to Yaza's message.