Must Choose

Part 23| Bella Stevani

#Bella pov's'

A year after our departure from Indonesia. There is something different about him but my current status is clear. I've legally married her, but I don't have her heart anymore.

I realized that when he left the woman. He's not the Rifky I know. Rifky who always smiled at me and spoiled me was gone. He's back to being a cold Rifky.

I know everything I've been doing all this time is wrong, because I'm greedy to have what I'm not entitled to. But on the other hand, I can't lose him because I love him so much and there's our son, Azka.

When I heard the woman miscarried, I felt guilty for everything I had done to her. Because I feel the same way about that woman. Right!?, I also had a miscarriage on my trip to Landon, escaped from Indonesia to avoid the threat of Mr. Mario, the father of Rifky. I feel stupid for my carelessness.

A few weeks later, Rifky caught up with me and she indirectly found out I had a miscarriage.

I remember where Rifky blamed himself and myself for the death of my son. Though in fact he's not Rifky's son but my son and Derren. From here I feel guilty to Rifky for lying to him. But, on the other hand there is my greedy and selfish nature, for not accepting all this. I was so selfish, not wanting me to lose Rifky out of my sight.

I'm doing all sorts of things to get Rifky completely. I'm a cunning, selfish woman, I gave a little high dose of alcohol that I put Rifky in, so he couldn't control himself. I was so quick to tease her that Rifky and I did something I shouldn't. Skips....

A few months later I was pregnant. I felt happy, because all the cunning things I planned worked out so easily and the fetus grew in my womb, and an incident I never imagined was Rifky proposing to me afterwards. Is this my lucky day.

"Marry me?!, sorry to be late and I'm sorry to keep you waiting" Rifky said. I was so moved by all this, because Rifky was being romantic with me.

I could not speak anymore by reflex I nodded my head and she put the ring on my finger and then hugged me.

I know, I'm evil by tying Rifky with this thread of fate, but I love him and no one can have him but me. You can taste me selfish, but that's what I want.

I was so happy then. But my happiness was lost when Rifky had to return to Indonesia to take care of his father's company.

"I have to go back to Indonesia, you take care of our son. Once my business there is done, I'll be here and we'll be married after this child is born" she told me.

"I trust you ky, I believe you won't leave me again" I said and she hugged me and then left.

For months he had no news and suddenly told him he could not come because of unfinished business. I don't want to be selfish either. I know he's busy, because he's his one-on-one son in his family.

Until I gave birth alone without Rifky who could not come because of his father's bond. I know she feels guilty about all this, but I am grateful, I was able to give birth to a very handsome child like her father, the one I love.

3 Years later, I returned to Indonesia with him. With purpose, to tell his father about me and my son. But all that was lost when Mr. Mario was sick and had to be treated. Rifky asked me to wait and I didn't want to be selfish anymore, because I knew he wouldn't leave me.

"Let me stay with Azka in the apartment, you stay with your father and take care of your father, he needs you ky" I said to Rifky.

"Thank you, I understand. I have to go to the hospital, dad's waiting for me" he said, giving me a kiss on my forehead and kissing our son.

But without realizing the unexpected happened. Rifky was in a match with a woman and I remember who that woman was. She's Zania, the woman who almost took Rifky from me, she's Revan's sister. I hate this fact, for having to bond back with that woman. I hope Rifky doesn't approve of the match, but he does. I was so angry back then, I knew Rifky liked Zania, but I couldn't take it. He is my son's father, I don't want my son to suffer the same fate as me. It hurts to imagine that.

"You accepted the match, you didn't think of me and Azka ky, you were selfish, I hated you ky, I hated" I cried out to destroy everything in front of me. Rifky tried to calm me down.

"Silence, baby, calm down. I did not betray you and Azka. I will love you and our child. You are the only ones in my life. That woman won't be able to replace her" said Rifky, who made me smile. I felt victorious from the woman again and I felt grateful that the marriage was only short, and more precisely now I am Rifky's wife legally and religiously.

***

I knew I was wrong, and I knew Rifky had no more feelings for me, in his way ignoring me with his overtime work. But from there he still cares about Azka from his current busy life.

Rifky preoccupied himself for a year, once he came home, he only cared about Azka without caring about me. I wanted to get angry but I held it off because Azka was going to see it. I don't want to have any adverse effects on my son.

He came home, his face was pale, I knew he was sleep deprived. Actually I feel sad because he hurt himself. "As soon as you love her, how painful you are to lose them. Here there is me and Azka also ky" I said to myself and wiped the glint of tears that came out that soaked my cheeks.

I went up to him and took his bag. He smiled and asked Azka.

"Where's azka?"ask her.

"He's in the room, he's asleep. You take a shower first, I heat the food" said my only answer to a nod of the head by him. He went straight to Azka's room. I looked at him with a painful look.

This is what it feels like to be ignored by a loved one. I don't want to be ignored anymore, already my parents ignore me with their ego. I don't want my son to be the same fate as me, and rather I don't want to be ignored anymore. He is mine and will remain mine. I'll do things to make him forget that woman.

***

#Next on, awaited yes gengs*