MOON IN PESANTREN
The Situation Happened Again
Suitcases began to line up next to each other's beds. There is sadness that dominates more than happiness and happiness. Three years in this boarding school is still too short for me, feeling each less even though I actually also want to graduate and enter the world of college. I'm a little sorry I didn't get in here from seventh grade. My friends from MI here are still not bored in this comfortable boarding environment.
I was with my roommate staring at our photo sheets during the Rihlah event one week ago. This travel moment or what we call Rihlah is a mandatory event for the twelfth grade students, which is held after the graduation announcement. The photo clearly depicts us carving out memories together that may never be forgotten. That said, the story of the most memorable High School days.
“Zahra, who are you photographing? Never saw him in the force,” asked Dilla while showing one of the photos to Zahra.
“Then I never saw him? She's part second secretary takmir mosque.”
“Rarely going to the mosque? Rarely see, deh.”
In one of the scattered photos, I saw a picture of me with Zahra and Harsa against the background of the bus at night. At that time, nine buses rihlah us stop by at the rest area, Zahra and I accidentally cross paths with Harsa after getting off the bus.
I still remember exactly what Zahra told me before taking Harsa a photo together. About the sentence like this, ‘Sel, we take photos of Harsa yuk. You like him too, right? Wanted to have the same reminiscence of the person I liked from dulu’. Actually I need an explanation of his words that Zahra seems to think I like Harsa too. But Zahra had not talked about it at all until now.
“The secretary of takmir of the mosque likes you, right, Ra?” Iffah asked.
“Nknow. But, I like it not the same him.”
Syilla suddenly interrupted. “Sama Harsa, yes?”
The atmosphere suddenly became awkward. Maybe because some of them realize that Harsa likes me. Now I'm going awry with Zahra. Only a few days later, we separated to continue our education. I am grateful that Zahra and Harsa were accepted at the same campus, because they could have been paired.
Zahra glanced at me at a glance, then answered Syilla's question earlier. “Who doesn't like Harsa? He's a pinter, saucy anyway. Santri nisa many who have a crush.”
The whole room was immediately crowded because of Zahra's reply to Harsa.
***
Every before the holidays, there must be a closing event for children. Moreover, our vacation this time is a vacation that has no end, a vacation that does not have time to return. Yes, this holiday is a real farewell. Maybe we can only exchange news through social media with children, because they also do not bring mobile phones here. Maybe only when they're on vacation can we exchange news. It would seem very difficult to meet let alone gather with the children.
The closing event at each class level is different, the class I escorted with friends is holding a gift exchange event. They are very excited to open their own gifts. These gifts are exchanged randomly so that it makes them more curious than who they get.
This atmosphere I probably won't forget either. Their happy expression when they get a gift they like, as well as an adorable disappointed expression for not liking the contents of the card. Everything was clearly recorded in my memory. The moment on this night has been captured by camera shots, many times also the fourth-grade santri managers recorded their excitement in a video.
“SEE YOU AGAIN BEAUTIFUL AND HANDSOME BROTHERS,” shouted the children who gave farewell to us accompanied by applause. Honestly, I almost shed tears. We hugged each other and said another parting expression. I really wish I could be with them again.
After the show, I went back to my room but not with the caretakers. Because, it was able to calm one of the children who cried because they did not want to part with me. It's funny how he is. As a result, now I go down the stairs alone. Then, I saw Zahra sitting alone on the first floor chair. I was just about to greet him, he suddenly asked me to sit next to him.
I went up to him, and sat right next to him. “Why, Ra? Who are you waiting for here to sit alone?”
“I'm again sad, Sel.”
Zahra exhaled slowly. “Because of that too. But, there's something else.”
“What? Just a story, Ra. Usually you just go straight to the story.”
“I, I'm amazed same someone from the beginning of registration get in here. And, until now I'm still amazed by him.” Zahra paused for a moment, as heavy as it was to fill her heart. “Tomorrow the day after we can go home to each other, so I want him to know what I've been doing for 5 years.”
“What is someone you mean, Ra? Harsa, huh?”
Zahra nodded slowly with a lowered face. Her fingers played the tip of her jilbab.
“You want him to know what you've been doing to him all this time? How-how? Em, you want to tell her straight away, Ra?”
“He should be aware about my feelings dong. Or is he conscious but pretending not to know? Maybe because he likes other girls. Aren't you, Cell?”
My body immediately felt cold. Shaking to hear Zahra's statement. What other girl does Zahra mean is me? I was traumatized by events such as Vira's treatment of me when it happened again. I don't want to be blamed for this kind of thing anymore.
Zahra continued her words. “Kayang no, the hell if the person who Harsa likes it turns out my own deket temen? What am I supposed to do, Cell? If you were in my position, what would you do?”
“Seli, sorry I said this to you. But, I want to hear it myself from you. Answer honestly, yes. Harsa really likes you?”
There was no response from me. I don't know what to answer and how. I bowed my face while biting my lips, I tried to hold back the tears that were ready to flow into my cheeks.
Looking at me who never answered, Zahra decided to get out of her chair and walk into the room. I rushed after him into the room. He entered one of the bathrooms, then was heard to turn on the shower faucet afterwards.
I waited for her near the balcony adjacent to the bathroom's outer door, hoping she would come out so I could make sure she was okay. However, 15 minutes have passed. Zahra did not come out and the shower faucet still sounded lit continuously since then.
“Why doesn't Zahra come out, huh? Did he squirm all over under the shower until it was cold like that?” my thinking.
Worried, I finally decided to approach the bathroom door and call out to her. “Zahra ..”
No response from him. I put my ear to the bathroom door, trying to figure something out. Suddenly, there was a sobbing sound from within. I panicked and knocked on the door. “Zahra, Zahra. You why? You angry about that? Ra, get out first, yeah. I'm sorry, Ra.”
My friends who were chatting in the middle room followed me to the bathroom because they heard my voice calling out to Zahra. They helped me persuade Zahra. In the past, Zahra had done this when her parents wanted a divorce. He soaked his body until shivering under the shower faucet that continued to flow.
I continued to say sorry to Zahra many times while wiping away my flowing tears. Situations like this happen again. At that time, Vira hated me because Andra was close friends with me. Now, Zahra is disappointed in me because Harsa likes me. God, am I the cause of my friends' heartbreak? Why am I always blamed for their jealousy? Is it my fault that someone likes me?
Shortly after, Zahra opened the door. Water dripped from his clothes. She was soaked with red eyes from crying. Dilla gave Zahra a towel to me. We helped Zahra dry her body.
Me and the other roommates didn't like Zahra's attitude. He tortured himself and it was clearly forbidden by God. Behind this attitude, he is a very kind and loving person. He is easy to get along with and likes to help. Hopefully Zahra can immediately eliminate his bad habits like that.
