Love Shielded Risue

regret wounds.

It has been more than a week maybe even two weeks if calculated from before the trial was in person. Akhri didn't come home. He prefers to sleep at Umm Salma's house, confine himself, not even eating.

His days were filled with prayer, dhikr, bathing, sleeping. So constantly.

The next day, Nia came to the mother-in-law's house with fear and sadness.

Because her husband never came home. Since her meeting the other day who asked her husband to immediately comply with Maryam's wishes and did not buy time. Apparently making Akhri really angry. Because Nia to accuse himself of having used Nia just to give Akhri a child, because Maryam is barren.

Akhri's anger erupted when Nia consciously threatened Akhri if she chose Maryam, and strictly forbade Akhri to meet Hussein forever.

Until making the door of the wood closet was the target of his fist that hit hard into it. And left him without a word.

–––

"Ummi, please Nia. Let's talk you home."

"Ummi's been trying, but what else? Don't answer, just look no. What's the real problem, anyway? Why did Akhri get so angry with you?"

"It's just trivial, Ummi. Nia just asked Abang to defend Nia for Hussein. That's aja..."

"Rarely that? Because Ummi never saw Akhri that angry? Or maybe, you should give your husband time to be alone. You have to understand, her divorce with Maryam can be said to be a heavy blow to her."

Nia snorted softly, actually She was upset that her husband had to lament Maryam until it was like that. What can that woman do? He thought to himself, who felt much better than him.

"Try me to his room. Knock on the door, the next time he'll come out."

Nia shook her head, she still remembered Akhri's anger back then. It really makes him squeak right now.

"Why not?"

"i'm afraid of Ummi."

"Fear why? Why fear, it's your husband. Go meet Him, calm Him."

"Yes, yeah." Nia moved slowly, handing Hussein over to her mother-in-law. Because Umm Salma had stuck out both hands on the boy. Slowly Nia stepped in, towards the stairs. Think for a moment, before going up. After that, continue his steps.

Arriving at Akhri's room door, Nia knocks slowly.

"Assynolass, Bang? It's Nia. Brother please open the door, yes. Nia wants to apologize," he said.

Akhri who was laying down his body in a tilted position, then opened his eyes. He was still very angry with his wife.

"Bang, forgive Nia. Nia was aware, Nia who had passed. Forgive Nia, Bang."

Akhri sighed, changing his position slightly to supine. Then cover his eyes with his arms.

"Bang Akhri, Nia please. Don't be angry like this, don't inhabit Nia. Nia is not the wife of Solehah, but Nia promises to change. Nia will be with Brother. It will not be as fussy as usual. Just don't be mad at Nia."

Akhri, don't answer. In addition to the gently flowing water droplets wet the side in both eyes.

Her chest was still claustrophobic thinking of Maryam, She still did not want to meet Nia for these moments.

"Don't you?" I heard crying outside. Nia's voice began to soften and raspy. "Sorry, Bang. Forgive Kania..."

Until not a while, Nia's voice was not heard. Only his vague footsteps grew further and further away.

Nia decided to leave first, but she did not give up. Even intend to stay at her mother-in-law's house until Akhri really wants to talk again with her.

***

The day changes, Akhri leaves early without the knowledge of the house person. While Nia was preparing food for Hussein, at Umm Salma's house.

By riding his motorcycle. He brought the speed of the motor until it reached one of the houses that had a sign written on sale.

Yes..the house that used to live in him and Maryam was finally sold. Because for what to maintain it, which would actually remind him of Maryam.

Akhri's motorbike pulled over, then turned off the engine. He stood long enough, in front of the fence before finally reaching into the pocket of his training pants took the key. Open the lock and enter.

His steps were weak, stopping at every corner of the room that was already nothing. All empty, because the furniture has been done. Three days after Maryam left the house.

The look in his eyes was shining. As if many sweet memories. He climbed the stairs and walked to the front of the open room.

His body was limp, Akhri supported one hand on the frame of his bedroom door first with Maryam. Then lean the body until his eyes stick with the arm slightly bent.

Merr. why is it so heavy for you. Are you there no longer feel lara. While this sick brother is here?

His body shook violently. His issue broke again. All his defenses are broken. Is this the final estuary of his journey with Maryam?

The bad impression he had put on Maryam's chest was quite deep. Makes him seem to be the most evil man, who can only torture his inner self.

How do you make amends for my mistakes, brother? How-to?

Akhri was still as excited, his tears streaming. He did not expect to be this furious when he had truly separated.

O Allah, forgive me who has not released him.

Akhri's breath was stingy, tight. While one of his other hands complained his chest was trying to take a deep breath. Calms itself.

Laa ilaaha illaa anta, subhaanaka, innii kuntu minadz dzaalimiin.... Laa ilaaha illaa anta, subhaanaka, innii kuntu minadz dzaalimiin... Laa ilaaha illaa anta, subhaanaka, innii kuntu minadz dzaalimiin.*

*[There is no God that has the right to be worshipped except You (O Allah), Most Holy of You, I am among those who do wrong/persecution,]

Akhri continued to ask Allah for forgiveness.

It was hard to let go of the woman he loved so much. Even more than anything before this.

No matter what the shortcomings...

His love remains burning for Maryam, not exactly the same for Nia. Even though his second wife had given him a child. Will not be able to shed his love for Maryam.

Akhri regretted, deeply regretted everything. Had He not obeyed Mary, he would have never felt this destructive. Now sorry for what?

Everything was in vain. He and Mary were already men and women without ties. Already a stranger, let alone to embrace him let go of longing. To just look at it is haram.

"Aaaaaarhhh, O Rabb..." Akhri was sitting limp in a squatting position. It feels like everything is too dark. He felt that there was no more light in his life. His hands clenched firmly, wiping his tears violently. While his lips were still muttering with his dhikr.