Love Me Now's
Pain
The whole room was shocked, except for the calm looking Dery ge. It seems he already knows this. But he kept this from me, because he knew I was gonna get hurt.
FanFan's father and mother were speechless after hearing his eldest son's confession. While my father and mother, and FanFan just kept quiet. My mother tried to calm FanFan's mother who looked shocked.
As for me, I just don't believe what I just heard. I just wish it was just a nightmare. I looked at the man I loved. I looked at Yang ger, my first love bowed lethargic after confessing her deeds.
"No way, this must be just a dream" I said in my heart
I just can't hold back my tears anymore. I don't want to cry in front of my parents. I decided to get out of FanFan's house
I ran out, the cold air no longer felt on my skin. I forgot to wear my jacket. Heavy snow fell and accompanied me.Why does it snow so heavily at a time like this? Is this not a romantic time? snow cries just like me.
I can no longer hold back my tears. And I finally cried. Suddenly FanFan came and put on a coat for me.
"Are you okay ?" ask FanFan to me
"I'm fine, it's just that I'm a little cold" I tried to look strong in front of FanFan, I didn't want him to see me cry
Then FanFan suddenly hugged me, and said..
"You don't have to be ashamed of me, cry on my shoulder. I have broad shoulders, I will cover you so that no one will see you Xiao Xi. Sometimes you don't have to try hard and lie to yourself, cry if you want to cry. I will accompany you" he said
Hearing FanFan's words also made me relieved. I cried in FanFan's arms while he just kept quiet and patted me gently on the shoulder.
"You're relieved?" FanFan asked me
"oh" I said
"Then come with me" FanFan said as he pulled me over
"Where?"
"Here you go, let's just come along" he said
♡♡♡♡♡
I don't know where we're going, with FanFan's bike riding me. He took me to the HuangPu River Bridge.
"Why did you bring me here?" much
"Why? are you afraid I'm gonna tell you to kill yourself? You, look." said FanFan, pointing flickeringly at the city of Shanghai.
"Wah~ I've never seen ShangHai as beautiful as this" I replied as I looked far away at Sanghai
Suddenly FanFan turned to look at me.
"Crystal you see, Shanghai is so vast. And in this Shanghai there are millions of good-looking men, who are no less handsome than my brother. It's just that if you're looking for someone better than me then nothing, then you can't be sad anymore.."
"You're still a narcissist, you know." I hit FanFan's head off.
Suddenly he grabbed me
" Xiao Xi, forget my brother and look for a good man. Uh, let me see your face"
FanFan with both hands holding my face, he looked at my face that was swollen from disgust,
"I see you're not so ugly, even though you're not pretty, your nose is pointed, though not as sharp as I am, hahaha your lips are good, and I'm sure you'll get a good man" he said while pulling my nose
He suddenly shouted towards the HuangPu River
"I, Liu FanFan will always be Xiao Xi's friend." he shouted.
I smiled at FanFan. I also screamed after him
"Well, good Xiao Xi" FanFan said
♡♡♡♡♡
I think this new year's night will be on my plan. The new year's night that I'm excited about will be the best year's night for me even different from my expectations. Something I was afraid of all this time actually happened. My dear, the man I have loved for 7 years is getting married. Already fallen, hit by the stairs anyway, not only heard it will be married, it turns out the woman he will marry is pregnant with Yang g.
I never thought the quiet Yang ger could do such a thing. I'm very disappointed in him. But, what's my day? I can only let it go now, pity the woman and the child she was born with.
"If it's hard, I'll try to forget it" I told FanFan
"JiaYou (spirit) Xiao Xi, I will always support you ", FanFan replied as he smiled at me
I spent the new year's night with FanFan, while looking at the fireworks on the HuangPu River bridge. Even though my heart is hurting, I am grateful that I still have FanFan, my best friend who has always been my back.
"Xie Xie FanFan" I said inwardly as I stared at FanFan
♡♡♡♡♡
After a late night, FanFan hugged me home. I went in and FanFan came home. As soon as I came in I saw Dad, Mom, and Dery ged waiting for me. They seem worried about me.
"Where have you been Xiao Xi? you left without saying goodbye, forgot to wear your jacket anyway, it's cold,"
My worried mother started nagging me. While I was silent, my father didn't say much. But I could feel the worry in his eyes.
"You okay, Xiao Xi?" Ask Dery ger to me
"Oh, I'm fine" I replied
I limp in and then go into my room. Someone knocked on my room
"Look in.." I said
"What's the ger?" I asked him
"I actually know about YangYang, it's just that I don't want to tell you, I'm afraid you'll get hurt, I'm sorry Xiao Xi"
I saw Dery ger's guilty face, he looked sorry to me, I knew his intentions were good. He was just trying to keep my feelings.
"Here you go, you don't have to apologize to me, I understand. Stop putting on your sour face, you look ugly..."
I try to make my brother better, I rarely be with him. So I want a week with him to be happy days.
"Alright, then rest" said my brother as he stepped out of my room.
If I'm being honest, I'm not okay. I may forget for a moment, but when I dwell like this I think back to the words of Yang g. I'm trying, really trying to get some sleep, but I can't.
"Lord please, I just want to sleep, my heart is tired don't let my body get tired.."
I finally got up and took something from my drawer. I took benzodiazepines (a type of sleeping drug). I hope if I drink it I'll fall asleep. I also took a glass of water and drank it.
"Why doesn't this drug react? why are you Xiao Xi? let's go to bed, you have class tomorrow morning.."
I forced myself to sleep but I couldn't. Slowly these tears came out, I could no longer hold them. At a loss, I remembered FanFan's words, that I should not hold back my tears. I was in my room at midnight.
♡♡♡♡♡
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