Love Me Now's

I'm back Shanghai

The Chinese plains are cooling down, the season I like the most has arrived. The month that most people have been favorite has come. Welcome to december.

1 Week before Christmas…

On December 18th in the winter, just the day before my graduation day as a coass in Beijing, I went to the Hospital to say goodbye to the doctors and nurses.

I spent 1.5 years at the Beijing United Family Hospital. All the memories are still stored in my memory. The first time I set foot in Beijing with FanFan, while handling the first patient, when Dery and I were in an accident, it was all still in my memory. And tomorrow I'm going back to Shanghai, my hometown.

"You should contact us often, you should also come here sometime" doctor Yu Tang said

"Thank you all this time you taught me a lesson that I would never get from another junior" Zhang said

"You take good care of yourself well and also don't hesitate to call me when you need help" said Dr. Chen

"Thank you all"

I bowed 90 degrees to all of them. Say goodbye to those I consider family. They gave me memories that I will never forget for the rest of my life.

I came out of the staff room after cleaning up all my things. With a box in my hand I walked down the hospital corridor where I used to run. From the end of the corridor my favorite hospital couple stood. They are FanFan's older brother and sister-in-law, Yang ge and Hexin Jejie. I smiled from a distance, walking closer to the two.

"Gege, Jiejie.." I said.

Hexin jiejie clasped my hand, "Later in the evening come to the apartment. Look at Xiao Lu before you leave"

"You have broken up with FanFan, but you will still be my brother and friend Xiao Xi" Yang ge said

I smiled hearing these two close relatives. I don't know why I feel so hard leaving Beijing, which has been a silent witness to my days for 1.5 years.

*/

Tonight I actually went to Hexin Jiejie's apartment. I want to see FanFan's nephew whom I haven't seen in a long time.

"Xiao Lu, my nephew you're getting bigger. Here, auntie has a red ampao for you" I said as I tucked the ampao into the tiny baby blanket

"Well when you're successful you have to give it again" ledek Hexin jiejie

Hexin jiejie continued, "I'll prepare something for you to eat after putting this baby to sleep"

I walked deeper into the corner of YangYang Gege's apartment. The room with the white door seemed tightly closed, it looked like no one had occupied it for a long time. I opened the door to the room, it looked dark and silent. I turned on the room lights, and saw a pile of medical books neatly arranged inside the wooden cabinet.

The tightly closed curtains covered the beautiful scenery of Beijing that could be seen from behind the large clear window. Not much dust I found, it seems Hexin jiejie diligently clean the room that the owner left behind.

I sat in the study chair in the room, on the table I saw little notes. Some prescription drugs and disease diagnoses are written neatly on sticky notes that are attached to the medical books. Some of the notes looked dusty because it had been 2 months in the owner's residence.

"Are you studying now?" I said

In the box under the table I saw a collection of FanFan cameras that he did not carry. The camera he was always proud of, the camera he always wanted to buy. I remember when he whined like a kid just for wanting to buy a camera.

I'm getting emotional, "You were abandoned by your master?"

A soft voice came and answered me, "You miss him?"

"Well, I still miss Jie so much"

"Why didn't you call her? You should try to reach him. Or...do you want me to call him now? I'll pretend to call her so you can hear her voice" said Hexin Jiejie

I shook my head, rejecting Xiao Lu's mother's suggestion. I will miss him even more when I hear his voice. I've been trying to forget FanFan, live my days without his voice, so I'm used to it.

After being satisfied chatting with Hexin jiejie I say goodbye to return to Dery gege's apartment. There's still a lot of stuff I need to clean up.

"You take good care of yourself well, I'm sorry that YangYang and I can't take you to the airport. But we promise, we will go to Shanghai to celebrate the new year there" said Hexin jijie

"I'll wait for you"

Our meeting today ended with a warm hug.

*/

There's still one person I want to meet before I go home. I called the man and asked him to meet. He is Li Yu, my brother's girlfriend. There's something on my mind that I want to tell him.

I was waiting for him in front of Li Yu's apartment. It was too late at night, it would be difficult if I asked him to come to my place. With a run Li Yu came towards me. As usual, she will still look beautiful even if she only wears home clothes.

"Let's talk in my apartment, it's cold in here" her slender hands pulled mine.

I clasped his hand, shaking my head I refused his offer.

Then I told him, "I'll be back in Shanghai tomorrow. I just want to leave my brother to you. I trust you Li Yu"

Li Yu smiled, "I see, you don't worry"

I feel calmer now, I hope they can both be happy. It would be a waste of me breaking up with FanFan if they were unhappy.

*/

In the apartment, Dery Ge helped me pack. She was busy talking to my mother while her left hand was trying to grab the suitcase from the top of the closet.

My mom called me to make sure everything was ready. There weren't many things I brought, just clothes and some important documents.

"I've sent you your plane ticket through WeChat" Dery said

I opened my phone to make sure my brother wasn't nosy anymore. My pupils dilated as soon as I saw the pictures of the tickets in Wechat.

"Ge, did you order business class again? Is this really expensive? How much did you spend Yuan? What is this notification again…?"

"Hendery Wong, are you sick? Gege, you're sane, right?

"of course. Let it be, after all, this is nothing and let's just say this is a Christmas ampao for you. Congratulations on your graduation Xiao Mei Mei"

(Xiao Mei May: little sister (female))

The second notification that made my eyes widen was the balance information. My brother sent money to my account, it's a lot. He's wasting a lot of money on me today, from plane tickets to Christmas amps.

"Xiexie gege.." I hugged my brother

"Don't be childish anymore" replied Dery gege

Tonight is my last night in Beijing. All my luggage is ready. I'm ready to go tomorrow.

I took my book and went into my room to rest. I went into the room where FanFan used to sleep. The room's still clean, it's because I always clean it.

Sometimes at night I like to go into this room just to read a book. I wanted to feel what FanFan felt as he sat and studied while looking at the twinkling city of Beijing from his bedroom window.

"You've seen Beijing all this time and you've never told me that the view here is so beautiful "so I whispered in my heart

*/

The next day...

"Xiao Xi, let's get up! Do you want to miss the plane? " Shouted Dery ge

"Really, my goodness. I take a shower, Ge"

My brother looks really annoyed, he has to go to the Hospital early in the morning. But before that he had to drive me to the airport. That annoying face of hers I probably won't see again for the next few days, so it's funny to see that sour face of hers.

"Nobody's missing, right?" Ask Dery ge

"Oh, there's no more"

In a hurry we got out of the apartment. My brother's car drove fast to the airport. As soon as I arrived, without further ado my brother dropped the suitcase from the trunk of his car. He hugged me and then rushed off again.

"You be careful. Call me when you get there" he said from behind the windshield

My flight was scheduled at 9am. There's still 1 hour before the plane takes off. I went to the waiting room and looked for a restaurant. Because of the bad luck of waking up, I did not have time to eat earlier.

Suddenly someone patted me on the back. I turned around and saw a handsome male face smiling at me. It was Shangyan.

"Eh, why are you here?" Much

"I'm going back to Shanghai. You alone?" Replies

Me, "sama"

I accidentally met Shangyan. Incidentally also the plane he was riding was also the same as the plane that would take me to Shanghai. We decided to go together.

"Where's FanFan? Shouldn't you be together?" Ask Shangyan

For a moment I was silent at Shangyan's reply. Then he smiled and replied, "He's coming to America"

"Huh? When?"

"2 months ago" I replied with a still bitter smile.

After hearing my answer, Shangyan did not ask me again. He probably knows when he should stop asking.

Shortly thereafter, the announcement of the plane's departure was posted on the Information Board. Shangyan and I got on the plane.

I recalled my memories with FanFan, when I was first going to Beijing, FanFan helped me put up a safety belt. He mocked me because I couldn't put it up.

When we went to Beijing for the second time to live our coass exactly 1.5 years ago, FanFan gave me a shoulder to back up. Had we not broken up, would he have sat down next to me and given me his shoulder again?

There's no point in me regretting it now. FanFan is gone and maybe now he hates me there in America.

"You okay Crystal?" Asked Shangyan who was sitting behind my chair

"I'm fine, can you wake me up when we get to Shanghai?" I said

"Oh, I'll wake you up. You just rest".Sangyan said

'China Airlines plane bound for Beijing-Shanghai will take off soon. Please allow all passengers to return to their seats, tighten the seat belt, open the window coverings, and enforce the backrest of the table'

Shortly after information from the flight crew, our plane took off from Beijing Capital International Airport.

Above the height of the sky, my heart said 'Fan, hate me if it can indeed make you relieved. Curse me as much as you want if it can ease your anger on me'. I left a debt to FanFan, an apology I knew when I would pay.

♡♡♡♡♡

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