Lightly Longing

My Lonely Side

The night is full of stars in the sky. I hugged myself on the balcony, looking up at the beautiful sky. I inhaled enough atmosphere to release fatigue, or at least keep my sanity.

"Close the door, Ta. A lot of wind, not good for our bodies" he said, standing in the middle of the room, between the room and the kitchen.

I turned towards him who was walking to fetch a glass of water. I shut the door on this slide model. Then join him who was sitting at the dinner table.

"Bang, today is my fertile time, you see."

Satria frowned, put the glass slightly jerked then walked into the room, leaving me alone. I rubbed my fussy face. Totally clueless with his attitude, sometimes warm, sometimes icy.

Are all men like that? Initially sweet and full of desire, then with time began to get bored and just disappear from circulation.

After enough complicated thoughts, I went into the room. Satria was already behind the blanket, I hugged her from behind. Women also want to be touched and pampered, even if only in bed.

"Bang, I'm at ovulation" I said once again.

"Sleep, I'm tired. I have many office tasks to complete tomorrow" he replied without turning to look at me.

Honestly, I'm disappointed. I went back to my position, turned my back. Clear thread escaped from the eye peluk. It's been three months, he doesn't give an inner living.

Morning, I put all the anger and disappointment in. I'm back in regular mode. Prepare breakfast and other routines as usual.

Satria pulled the chair out, then sat there. Next to the hand was still holding the towel, then placed the square cloth on the back of the sofa.

I took a deep and long breath. Then take the towel and attach it to the clothesline. Satria was busy filling my stomach without paying attention to me.

"Bang, can't seem to see my existence even for a moment? I am not a maid who should be ready to serve all your home needs! What about my inner needs!" my rebel who can't stand all the treatment.

Satria just kept quiet and looked at me like I was a broken radio talking without needing to be heard. I changed my clothes and got out of the house as quickly as possible by slamming the door.

Arriving in front of the fence, I saw Arini eating breakfast on the balcony of her house. The look in our eyes met. For a long time he looked at me who was in a mess.

I passed away, the hair moving slightly due to the swinging leg.

"Wait." I stopped my steps and turned around in doubt, not Satria holding me here. But, Arini.

He handed me a small box. I just looked at him alternately with the square thing he was holding.

"Take it for breakfast" he said again.

I was still silently staring, glancing at her husband who seemed to be smiling.

"Your husband waits, you'd better come back." I chose to leave, not wanting any connection with the new neighbor.

I took the elevator to arrive at school. Arriving at the teacher's room, Mr. Kosim came with a black package. From the looks of that package, I was clearly confused. It was also morning blind.

"What is this, sir?"

"Package, Mom."

"Package?" I have more questions that still confuse me.

"Yes, last night was late."

"Oh." I took it and Mr. Kosim left.

Just arrived, the package arrived. There was no sender's name, just a little paper of my name on it. Unsuspecting, I opened it.

A brown teddy bear measuring about thirty centimeters along with a phone brand abal-abal that I had once had.

Exactly the same name and shape as given by Tama when we were together. I closed my eyes long enough, my hands supporting my forehead.

My shoulder was patted by someone, I immediately turned towards the owner of the hand. Madam Afifah it turns out, I can breathe a sigh of relief.

"Package from shopee, ma'am?"

"Not from the fans" I said, teasing him who had squinted his eyes.

"We're all beautiful, Mom. I'm more beautiful anyway, because it's been sold first," I reply that invites laughter. There was also laughter with a heavy voice.

Mr. Arbi masked his gel taste by making a fist positioned near the mouth.

"Sir Arbi, as happy as he is, sees me insecure." Ms. Afifah thought, Mr. Arbi laughed at her. In fact, I know who it is to whom.

Actually, I'm being bullied on Satria. He would never call to apologize. Living in his own world. Sometimes I wonder why he married me? For status?

Ah, I don't know. It is always full of mysteries and puzzles when it comes to her personality. Ten years was still less to know him more deeply.

"I don't mean it, Ms. Afifah. I was reading a message from a friend, and accidentally so connected to Mom's story."

The bell rang, we broke up from the teacher's room. Ms. Afifah was still grumbling, hugging the book she walked beside me.

"Okay, I'm so glad Mr. Arbi."

"Don't be so cool, Mom will be so cool."

"Furniture?" his frown was frowning.

"Yes, kebel .. et mating, haha."

Sontak Bu Afifah raised his voice. "Bu Ananta ...!"

"Hehe, kidding, Mom. Let's not be so tense on this beautiful morning."

I go to class, every day my subjects have a schedule. This time on the ground floor, somehow always next to Mr. Arbi. Ms. Afifah stepped towards the stairs, she taught on the second floor.

"Morning," I said to the fresh and neat looking students.

"Morning, Mum."

I put my bags and books on the table. I was standing in the middle of class.

"Okay, last night where did our lesson go?"

"Page 42, Mom."

"okay." I flipped through the pages looking at the last lesson. Start teaching learning activities.

Enough to explain, I went back to my seat. Watching the students one by one, all of you pass them off. My list of class absences and absences is clearly different.

This class is quite quiet and not as noisy as the Beautiful class. Maybe because of the class. Yes, these students were separated based on class rankings during last semester's exam.

Finished with the material also absent mine, I took a walk around the hallways of their table. Nobody plays mobile like class Beautiful, they're all focused.

I glanced at the clock on the wall, it was almost time for a break. Actually, I'm still thinking about the package, obviously I know who sent it. Tama.

Sometimes surprised by him, he already had a child and a wife, why excited to come near me again. Whether I was just used as an outlet for boredom, or meeting me reopens an old memory for him.

Ah, I don't know. I don't want to get entangled and go back to repeating the story that once existed. The taste that is left behind, cannot be denied, is still tucked in the corner of the heart.

An incoming message in the blue app with a special sound. I saw a photo of Tama in the circle that appeared on the screen. In the middle of this problem, there must be a sense of wanting to reply to the message.

I touched that round circle.

"Ta, sorry for my mistake yesterday. I'm a brash, Ta."

I didn't reply, just read it. Again, he looks typing. Maybe he saw, a small circle of message signs read.

"Ta, please. Give me a chance to share my story with you. You don't know what my life is?"

"OKAY. But stop calling me first. Moreover, to send our past goods."