Lightly Longing

The Horned End

"There will never be a divorce in my family! Until I never divorced you!" he was with a red face.

I held the sebak in the chest. My breath seemed to have stopped hearing his words. Don't know what's on Satria's mind. He made me happy no, or maybe too rude to say no. Probably not, at least until now.

Didn't he say disgust to a woman who had slept with another man. Me? Didn't I already do it? Then what is this? Why is he still defending me?

"Bang, I've done it with Tama."

"Yes, I know. I've heard everything, too" he said furiously and stared intently at my face.

"Continue?"

"Let me take care of the rest. Until I won't divorce you!"

Satria passed by leaving me alone in this inpatient room. I'm confused about everything. No matter what his purpose was to keep me, his love for him had already disappeared since he had behaved indifferently to me.

I stared out the window. A pair of elderly husband and wife are sitting hugging each other staring at the sun that has begun to high.

I looked at both of them. Slowly my eyes are moving. True there is a storm that must be passed to get to the end of age marriage. No household is smooth without steep. But, I did not want to continue the household ark with Satria.

That's enough. Ten years with him, still not understanding with his heart and attitude.

Tama suddenly appeared from behind the door. I moaned, lazy to look at his face. All this because of him. I was branded a perakor. He knelt beside the gurney.

"What are you doing, Tama?!"

"Ta, I'm sorry on behalf of my wife."

"No need! I'm pretty embarrassed about his treatment. We better not see you again."

"Ta, please! I can't let you go."

"You better go. We stop it here."

"No, Ta! I'll prove it to you, if I'm worth it to you."

I raised the corner of my lips. Now, I realize why I was so stupid getting stuck back by it. In the past, he even disappeared without any news. In fact, a message from me two days later he replied.

After researching, he actually considered me a bully and bored me. Funny, now he's on his knees begging. Heh! Yesterday's incident was enough to make me throw out the trash that can't be recycled.

"Wake, Tama. Please go!" my toilet pointed at the door. Tama bowed deeply, slowly he got up and walked out.

"Ta, I just want to love you whole."

"Since you've been bored and considered me a bully, it's not whole."

Tama left without a word, I drowned my face. Hugging knees, crying without a sound. Only the body shakes and the shoulders shake. This is as dramatic as my love story.

Too complicated to solve. The formula they carved was not able to make me describe it until I got the results. Everything is like the formula of a circle, which has a diameter of each.

Like the pytagoras formula that looks for answers to every angle. My shoulder was gently swept by someone, I raised my face. This hijab-wearing woman immediately hugged me who looked chaotic.

"Mom Afifah" I said, accompanied by tears that were breaking down there.

"Mom, you must be strong."

"Mom, I can't handle it."

"You can do it, Mom."

I let go of Ms. Afifah's embrace. He looked at me, there was a tinge of disappointment there. But, the side of his view implied sad to see me. He sat on the edge of the gurney.

"Mom, how's Mom doing?"

"You, Mom."

"No, I mean Mom's health."

"Still waiting for the doctor, Mom. If the result is good, then I can already go home today."

For a moment the atmosphere became awkward and silent. I feel that sinners are very ashamed to meet Ms. Afifah.

"What kids, Mom?" I'm trying to melt the atmosphere.

"Good, Mom. While they were given the task. There's something I want to say to you, Mother."

"What is that, Mom?"

Ms. Afifah looked agitated and began to weigh the words that would be thrown from her mouth. I can already guess, this has something to do with my career.

"Enmmmh ...." Bua Afifah was seen scratching his temple and squeezing his own fingers.

"Say me, Mom. It's okay."

He clenched his lips together, slowly taking a deep breath. Then take something from his bag.

"Here, Mom." He held out a long white envelope. I put both eyebrows together.

"What is this, Mom?"

"Mom's open, yeah. Then I say goodbye. Assalamualaikum."

"Getishalight."

Ms. Afifah also left, I opened the envelope that had been held since. A letter of dismissal from the school because I was considered immoral.

Yeah, that's true. That mistake ruined everything. Means, now I should always be at home. The nurse and the doctor went in for an examination.

I can already go home. No one came to pick me up. I packed things, didn't forget to clean myself up before I got home.

The medium sized bag was already within my grasp. I stepped out with a confused feeling. Where to go?

Walking with a sham and not knowing the purpose. Everyone I passed by looked at me and whispered. I understand, the video of yesterday must have gone viral.

I got to the lobby, Satria's car just arrived. I don't want to go home with him. In that house, feels like a prison for me now. He opens the door.

"Lake in!" his orders. I just kept staring at his flat face. His eyes are straight ahead.

I resigned, finally joined him. Shut up, no conversation is going on between us. A ten-minute walk brought us home.

Satria asked me to come down, but I was reluctant to set foot in this house again. Everything has changed, including my heart. He's not there anymore. The lump of meat was empty, no one had it.

"Down" he ordered again. I shook weakly. The things from the hospital he brought in, while I was still faithful in the car.

"Come, down!" it was the impact that made me undaunted. It's numb this heart will treat it. What other attitude should I be surprised at.

Left alone, he has often done. Died while crying alone in the room, he also once made. The word divorce has been said twice, then with the clash I should be surprised, oh.

Do I deserve this household to be with her? I cheated on her too because of her selfish attitude. Satria pulled my arm until this body came out of the four wheels we were riding together earlier.

He threw my body to the floor. Throw it away like trash. I stared at him who was still standing in the doorway. My eyes were heating up, the clear fur had already condensed, slowly falling down to drip.

I quickly wiped the tears rough. No more tears fell for her. Not anymore, my heart.

"Can you leave him?"

I pulled the corner of the lip. Hissing softly, what am I doing. In fact, to live with him alone I was reluctant.

I was silent, not wanting to answer. Just looking away, lazy to see it. He is not the one who will fill my day in the future. He was no longer there, even in the corner of his heart his name had been erased since yesterday he left me.

"Ananta? Can you leave him? I'm gonna be nice to you?"

"God! It's funny, now I'm disgusted with you."