Lightly Longing

Want to Die Only!

Satria knelt down in front of me, she pleaded with a clear face. His hands rubbed both thighs, then switched fused and placed them in front of the chest.

"Ta, I beg you. Stay with him, Ta."

"Heh, enough of our discussion. I don't want to repeat the same words. You know very well, that I don't like to say anything more than twice."

I get up and go to my room. Leaving Satria who looked frustrated there. However, the middle-aged woman came with a bushel. My mother-in-law, I suppress all feelings and try to be okay.

"You why? I've said many times, have a child!" he said by hitting Satria on the shoulder after he got up.

I saw it flat. He walked towards me. Smells my cheek.

"Are you well?"

"Udah, ma'am," answered me, who then bowed in shame and held back tears.

"Mom" said I, who took a deep breath. He walked into the kitchen to arrange all the food he brought.

"Mom, I'm having an affair" I continued with a feeling that somehow explained it. I raised my face and he looked at the two of us in turn.

"Ananta!" snapped Satria who was now holding his head. He was waist-rigged, looking very frustrated.

I looked back in, my hand held by my mother-in-law. He took me to sit on the dining table.

"Tell me the truth, Ta. Honestly, when that idiot brought you to me, I was so happy and liked you right away. Is he doing you no good?" I stared at Satria who was still standing in the middle of the living room.

I'm shaking. I can't possibly explain Satria's treatment to me all this time. His indifference, his selfishness, let him remain a sweet child to his mother.

"Ananta?"

"No, Ma. It's my absolute fault. My heart has no love for him. My heart has changed" I replied in tears, covering my face.

The sound of the chair creaking, this woman who loved me so much slowly walked out. Hearing the door knob being turned, Satria chased. I can only tell you the truth.

"There will never be a divorce!" he was tough when he was in the doorway.

I stepped into the bathroom, turned on the faucet let the flood there. I wanted to drown my body in there, so that no one would know I was crying.

Long enough, maybe one, two or three hours I've been here. My body was shaking with cold, I didn't care. Life is no longer in accordance with what I imagined.

My job, I no longer have. Husband, not what I expected. The sound of knocking on the door was heard many times.

"Ananta! Open it!"

Dug ... Dug ...!

"Saint ...!"

I slowly closed my eyes, a body without a thread. Yeah, I'm drowning my body in a big tub right now.

Just want to die, I thought. Why live with a man who has never understood my physical condition. Right now, I can barely breathe. Intentionally, I did.

Pork ...!

Only the sound of the door breaking could be heard, after which it all darkened. This time Satria will divorce me.

I've lost everything. Work, parents, self-esteem, even my own soul. So, losing Satria would be meaningless.

For some reason, God still gave me this life. When I woke up, I was already on the bed with my hands infused.

Satria sat on the edge of the bed. He took my hand, he locked it with both hands.

"Ananta, are you okay?"

I quickly pulled my hand from his grasp, throwing away the face of not wanting to see it.

"Ananta, please! Stop doing crazy things like this."

"God! What careyou? Isn't it enough to make me lose my sanity?"

I heard a rough breath from him. Slowly my pinkish feathers dripped down the pillow. Satria lay beside me, she hugged my body tightly.

She was acting sweet too late. This heart is already sick with its treatment first. His one thousand kindnesses right now were not enough to make my heart whole again.

"Ananta?" The soft voice of the woman made me rub the clear circle, I got up and half sat down.

"Bak Arini."

"Yes" he said, sitting close to me. He cupped my face and hugged this body tightly, he rubbed my back gently.

"I'm sorry I taught you."

"No, Ma'am. It's my fault."

Slowly he let go of his embrace. His thumb wiped the flowing tears.

"It's important you're okay now, right?" I nodded, Satria returned with a tray of porridge and a glass of water.

"Why did all this happen?" tanya Arini looked at Satria.

"I don't know, Ma'am. When I got home, Ananta didn't come out of the bathroom."

Satria raised the bowl and would bribe me. However, Arini takes over and sends Satria out.

"Let me just."

Satria came out by pulling the door knob. Arini scoops the porridge for me, I refuse the smooth.

"No, Ma'am. I don't want to eat anymore."

"So, what do you want?"

"I just want to live my life properly, Ma'am. I'm in prison for this marriage, ma'am. I can't go on anymore" I said sniffling.

Arini came back to hold me after putting the bowl she held back. I hugged, crying spilled everything.

"The more he behaves well, the more guilty I am, Ma'am. I can't keep this up."

"Already, yeah. While you focus on your health, yes. After that we think again, okay?"

Cellphone's ringing. Arini and I looked up at the nightstand. Mr. Arbi, again the name is listed there. I don't want to get involved with anyone anymore.

My body and soul are tired. So many things have drained my emotions in the past few days. My head was beating from thinking too much.

"Sir, I want to rest."

"OKAY. I'll go home first, yeah."

"Thank you, Ma'am."

Arini got up and rubbed my shoulder before coming out. Back my phone rang, still the same name on it.

I went back to lying down and pulled the blanket to the chest. Turn around to the door.

"Ta, there is a friend of your profession coming," said Satria suddenly. I turned to her who was still standing in the doorway.

"Who?"

Mr. Arbi is seen standing behind Satria. My eyes widened in disbelief with Mr. Arbi's attitude.

"Sir Arbi?"

"Hi" she said kindly. I looked at Mr. Arbi and Satria alternately. What is Mr Arbi doing here? Especially this in my house, there is also Satria.

My God, why is this single guy coming here. My life is already full of problems and drama that makes my head throb, his presence here now makes me dizzy seven circumference.

Satria walked up to the bed, trying to get me out. I shook his hand slowly.

"I can do it myself" I whispered. However, Satria actually carried me bridal style. Not forgetting the infusion was already within his grasp.