Lightly Longing

Just Break It

The bell rang, the break began. The subjects I taught were also over in the Beautiful class. I tidied up the books that were scattered on the table. While the kids are out stuff for snacks or breakfast.

Lovely to give the paper and a loaf of bread he gave on it. I glanced at the flour dough, then turned to Indah.

"Sorry, Mom."

"Ec ... Okay." Okay."

My phone rang in someone's call, I reached into the bag and picked it up. Lovely I'm driving out. He lowered his head and left.

"Yes, Bang."

"I'm home early today, will you?" I clamped the flat object by shrugging my shoulder to hold it. Both hands were busy putting things in.

"Can." I stared at the clock in my hand at ten.

"Around lunchtime we can go home" I said. Afraid, if he waited too long would definitely fuss and argue again and again. Let me wait for him, no matter how many hours.

At first married, when I asked to wait, Satria nagged and instead there was a big war. Whenever he waited, it always was. Sometimes take the motor fast, or accidentally hit the sidewalk.

There was a huge hole struck at full speed without braking. Sometimes I jump out of my seat. To avoid that, I chose to wait for him even if it was a long time ago.

"Okay, I'll pick you up at the school gate."

"Yes, Bang."

Mr. Arbi came down with me. We say hello just a pleasantries. However, the words that came out of his mouth again invited a huge question mark in my mind.

"Can I enter Mother's world?"

"What??"

Mr. Arbi just commented a smile and climbed the stairs to get down. It's worth it that he said he knew what was going on. It seems like he saw something that I should have hidden in close quarters.

True the saying goes, the best to close the carcass will definitely smell too. Now, this is happening to me.

After lunch, I finished teaching. Usually until three o'clock just go home. As Satria picked up today, I cut down the job in the teacher's room and took her home.

The white Xpander was waiting there. I'm obviously very sorry about the license plate. I opened the door and entered.

"Old time, Bang?"

"Lumayan," he said short and concise. We went home, without any more talk. Silent.

Sometimes it's this loneliness that makes me pull a thread about Tama's heart. "Anything to eat?" I asked again, this sweet black man shook his head.

"Not yet."

"So where are you going to eat?"

"At home."

"Oh." In my heart, I wish she would ask me the same question again. I haven't eaten for sure either.

After almost arriving in front of the complex fence he just asked, "What do you want to eat?"

"Nothing, eating at home."

I asked Satria to pause at the security guard post. The man in black safari came out from there. He knew right away when I lowered the windshield.

"Oh, Miss Ananta."

"Yes, sir."

"This is a daycare for Mom."

"Yes, thank you, sir."

Satria looked wince in wonder. Yeah, I haven't told you anything about her mother. I meant to say it when I got home.

The white paper bag is in my lap. Despite being busy driving, Satria glanced at me a few times. Until we finally got home.

Unlock the iron fence and enter the house. Satria parked the car, while I prefer to go to the bathroom.

A second later, I prepared lunch for us. It's on the dining table.

"That's what?" satria asked as she sat beside me. The direction of his eyes was not separated from the paper bag that I put near the dinner cabinet.

"Mom's herbal medicine."

"Mother?" the question again that still makes him unite the eyebrows.

"Yes, your mother. I was here to keep that nitipin to the security guard."

"Oh, why don't you call me, okay?" He asked himself, I shrugged my shoulders. "What's that?"

"Medicine for fertility he said," I answered lazily and spooned the rice into the mouth. I knew Satria would refuse to drink it. "If we don't want to drink, we throw it away."

I looked straight ahead. Situations that discuss matters to children, will not be discussed long. It is better to break it before you are disappointed.

She's quiet. I'm done eating, washing my dirty dishes earlier. After that, I changed clothes and continued the task that I had not prepared earlier.

**

This Sunday morning, I was watering a patch of plants in the corner of our tiny house. Satria was busy washing her motorbike.

An open box car stopped right across from our house. Satria and I looked at each other, perhaps asking.

"New move huh, Bang?"

"I think yes," he replied, who resumed his Sunday morning activities.

There was a woman in her mid-forty years with her two daughters coming in first, followed by a man her age who was dressed in fashionable clothes while carrying a box containing a doll of the child.

They stared at us, then gave a warm greeting. He bowed his head for a while and smiled and then walked in. Truly a harmonious family in my opinion.

Moreover, try what is desired from the household if not happiness with a full portion. Son, husband, big house, good finances. Will they demand more?

I kept watching their movements. His wife was preparing food for her husband and children. It was clearly visible, as they were having breakfast in the courtyard. Lining a white wooden fence, made me so free to look there.

The woman approached us with a plate containing toast. Our fence is wide open indeed, on this Sunday. Yes, Satria activity will flood the ceramic yard if it is not opened.

"Morning," she said, which made Satria immediately stand beside me.

"Morning," I replied quietly and continued to pay attention to her face that looked so tight. Fashionable clothes and ideal body shape. Obviously I am insecure, I who have not had children just lost body goals with him.

"We're new neighbors in the house" he said pointing across the street.

"Oh, yeah. I'm Satria, this is my wife. Ananta." Satria introduced us, her hands were already coiled around my shoulders.

"Me, Arini. That's my husband and my two children. Zaki, Mia and Alisha. Greetings," he said again while thrusting the plate he brought.

"Wait a minute" I asked to hold him off, who was leaving our house. "I'll give you back your plate."

"Tomorrow, I'll come take it. Just play here."

"Oh, sure. We are happy to welcome you" Satria replied.

"Honey," called her husband who appeared to be waving his hands here. Arini greeted him and then ran away with them, leaving us both.

Satria again wiped his favorite R15 motorbike. He obviously ignored me. I really want him to spend this weekend with me.

I'm lonely, sometimes frustrated with the same routine and that's it. Saturated, bored, angry and rebellious with this flat life, but again, I chose to give up.