Lightly Longing

Sleeping with Tama

I got up and sat quietly by the bed. I saw Tama doing the same thing, then smiled obliquely.

"You're a lot hotter than my wife turns out. If you know this, I wouldn't want you to stay, Ta."

I snorted violently and rose up to pick up the clothes that were scattered. I cuddled the clothes to cover my chest and would step into the bathroom.

My shoulder was gripped by Tama. "Dear, yeah. I never had time to take your virgin. Only the hymen was broken" he whispered, making my chest rumble and start to rise.

"I'm thankful you're not my husband."

"Oh, huh? Isn't it the longing that's been tormenting us all this time?"

Tama raised the corner of her lips and shook her head. He brushed his lips with his fingertips.

"You sure you're grateful to be married to Satria?" the question again makes sure to see me who is still sculpting.

"Yes" I replied firmly.

"Instead, now you're sleeping with me. What happens if Satria finds out" he whispered again. I clenched my fuming hands.

"Enough, Tama! Yes, this is my first and last mistake. That longing you mentioned, enough to teach me to leave you again."

I passed to the bathroom. Enough arguing with him. I closed my eyes, neutralizing the heart and heart that had already slipped out. Why the heart and brain are always never in sync, ah.

I walked to the door, unlocked it and I turned the knob. Passing by leaves Tama who looks still busy with his show shower.

***

Once at home, Satria is not home. I don't know where he went. I, who has a double lock, went straight into the bathroom. Clean yourself from the remnants of pleasure with Tama earlier.

There is a sense of guilt that now haunts my days. After the shower, the door was knocked on by someone. My body was very tired, lazy to get up and just wanted to lay down on the bed.

Again, the sound of knocking on the door was heard. With my pillow face I headed for the doorknob.

Arini came up with a plate containing a sponge. Especially now, my mind saw him full of astonishment.

"Can I come in?"

"Mmmmhh ...." Not yet I replied, Arini has already stepped in. Put the plate he brought on the living room table.

He sat down to cross his legs on the sofa. I accompanied him, sitting in front of him.

"I'm not given a drink?"

I looked at him flatly, then slowly got up towards the kitchen. Carrying a glass of tea for him, his eyes guerrillaly stared at the wall

There are only 24-inch wedding photos and some photos of our togetherness before marriage. In the past, the smile was painted with width and happiness. It is now slowly disappearing as time goes on.

"I saw you enter from a guesthouse with a man."

I looked up, looking left and right. Afraid, if only suddenly Satria appeared.

"Not to be afraid, I'll keep your secret. But, please do something for me."

"What?" my question is to put eyebrows together.

"Please tell my husband we were together last night."

"What?" ask me again by frowning.

"You know cheating isn't good, but you do."

"This is my way of keeping my sanity."

Arini got up, then turned the doorknob. "Are we not in the same place?" he said it again that got me stuck in this situation.

Satria came home with two packs of food. Also a plastic bag with the logo of a famous mobile phone brand. My heart felt more guilty seeing him that way.

His silence, his mysterious side, makes it difficult to guess what his heart is. Honestly, guilt haunted me every second of it as he began to step in.

I also kept quiet. The atmosphere in the house is quiet. Wet hair filled my face. I got up wanting to get away from him. His hand held me.

"Sit down, accompany me to eat."

"Dude."

Without staring and answering, Satria continued to eat without any more words coming out of her mouth. My wrist was also still loyal in his grasp.

"Eat," he said again without looking at me. The eyes that were once filled with love no longer wanted to exchange eyes with me.

I still quietly took no food in front of him. Satria is ready to fill his stomach, he thrust the plastic logo.

"This, for you."

I was still staring at him who was now standing about to step out of nowhere. I looked down deeply, slowly the clear circles dripped.

God, what's really in his heart. Why is it always cold. Sometimes I think, what is a household? Am I just a display that he decorated here.

Yeah, the jewelry he bought me to wear. From necklaces, bracelets, rings and foot chains. It was all Satria prepared for me.

**

I'm back to my usual activities. The atmosphere in my home is still as usual. Cold, I didn't tell Satria much either.

Sleeping last night, we just turned our backs on each other. I felt guilty, I didn't know about him. I just saw his wide back wearing a white shirt.

Morning routine as usual, however, I still carry out my duties as his wife. There was no interaction between us.

Now I have arrived at school. I chose to go alone, Satria did not offer to take me. Yes, we are in cold mode.

"Morning, ma'am," greeted the passing disciple.

"Morning," I said, stepping for sure.

"Mrs Ananta." I looked at the origin of the voice. Ms. Afifah far behind me waved, I stopped waiting for Ms. Afifah.

This hijab-wearing woman ran a little towards me. He is now beside me.

"Mom, I'm going to go to the movies tonight, yuk!"

"He uh?"

Ms. Afifah reached into her bag, then showed her phone screen. The movie poster is there.

"What film is this, Mom?"

"Oh my goodness, Mom. This is another viral movie on Tiktok. You don't see what?" I shook my head quickly.

"This is a movie about infidelity, Mom. The actor Ivory Martin is the same as Ariel Tatum if not wrong. Just released yesterday."

My mouth was round in response to his explanation. "Where?" he asked me again who nudged my shoulder.

"Mmmm ...."

"Don't survive the same people who don't want to be with us" said Mr. Arbi suddenly. Ms. Afifah and I turned to the man with the sling bag on the left. We both looked at each other confused.

Mr. Arbi walked over casually, disregarding us. Passed like a breeze passing through us.

"Sir Arbi didn't say anything, did he?" ask Bu Afifah who is still dumbfounded. I nodded slowly. We're staring here, looking at Mr. Arbi's backside shirt that's slowly gone along with the bike.

"It's impossible to talk to us, isn't it, Mom?" asked Ms. Afifah again, I squeezed and raised both shoulders.

"Any," said Ms. Afifah who seemed still curious about Mr. Arbi's remarks just now.

"Udahlah, Ma. Why take a headache. Maybe Mr. Arbi is babbling himself." I finally opened my voice. From what Mr. Arbi said just now, it looks like it was directed at me.