JUDITH

DILEMMAS

Time and time again told himself very confidently that he would not let Yudith win, not taking the one-week challenge seriously. He will never confess his actions until any time whatever happens. However, when the week had shrunk and there were only two days left, Lisa's sleep could no longer be restful.

On the surface it still looks strong, but in the depths of the heart he feels very agitated, even his appetite is reduced drastically. Not only that. He who had been feeling no problem always aloof, suddenly felt the solitude was very lonely and isolated. Feeling unneeded also felt discarded since both parents no longer wanted to talk to him. Both of his parents were absolutely proving a threat.

Her phone is broken and thrown away, but deep down Lisa still hopes her parents will call her on the dorm phone. Actually, no. Now Lisa's soul feels always gamang, like threatened by something invisible.

It's been two nights that she's been haunted by nightmares. Dreams of running around in the forest because it is pursued by an unclear figure. Never know exactly who or what is chasing, but feel that he must avoid, do not get caught.

In the dream, in the end he had to give up and surrender when his feet tripped over the roots. When the huge black shadow without any real form was about to pounce, he let out a hysterical scream and was also attracted to the real world as his roommate woke up.

"What dream are you? Shouting like a man of infidelity."

Breathing was still dull and the soul was still not fully returned to the body, Lisa just stared unfocused-gaze at one of the friends who had awakened her.

"You've been feeling less healthy lately. What pain?" One of the friends who slept in the upper bed also asked.

"Sleeping motion continues. I can't sleep well." The friend who slept in the bed above Lisa protested.

Because they basically did not like Lisa, the tone of the three of them spoke the same - equally - ketus and cynical. There was no concern or sympathy at all.

"So once it's still mending." The friend who had woken Lisa back to her bed nagged.

"Mending face wash there, Sa. Let it not be a nightmare anymore" suggested a friend who slept on it.

Lisa is still flinching. Only his chest alone seemed to rise and fall violently because his breathing had not been regular. Now he's confused. The more insistent the heart, the more his conscience is agitated. However, his prestige-filled ego always whispered, "Don't listen to them. Lisa Wijayanto is not weak. Can't lose to a normal girl like Yudith. Keep fighting for your love for Andreas, because all is fair in love."

"But if I get kicked out how? Mom and Dad don't care about me anymore. They ignored me."

When his weak side complains like that, his ego will strengthen again.

"Lisa won't run out of sense, will she? Open your eyes and make them regret it. After that, Lisa will definitely return to being a darling."

"How'd it go?"

"remember. Remember what you used to do. Do that now."

Lisa was struck by her own thoughts. Shall? Should he do that so that his parents would care and side with him again?

"There's no harm in trying, is there?"

The face that had been deathly instantaneously became more colorful as a sinister and sly smile adorned the corners of his lips.

"good. You guys see it later."

The heart felt quite amused, the rest of the night was passed calmly. Sleep well without nightmares again. However, when morning came and had to meet with Yudith, the anxiety again gripped his heart.

Yudith's silent attitude to Lisa feels like silence that holds a million cunning strategies, will soon be launched to attack if he is caught off guard.

The mystery-book-loving girl does look like she doesn't care anymore about what happened, or what Lisa will do. However, in certain moments when their eyes met, his flat gaze was like it contained a threat.

Whether it is so or maybe just because of the feeling of Lisa who is restless, it becomes thinking that is not. What is clear, because of that feeling, the plan that was thought of last night suddenly became no fun anymore. Now he was afraid and not sure it would work. The girl now looked pensively in her seat in the classroom. In his head flashed a lot of things that caused the heart to grow even more restless.

Andreas and Ririsma who since Yudith left the hospital never went to the cafeteria again, were in class, the three were eating snacks and cakes that Andreas brought. There are also bottled drinks. After a brief glance at Lisa, Yudith took a box of drinks and chocolate bread.

"Why are you?" Ririsma stared in surprise and Yudith simply responded with a glance towards Lisa.

"Let me just." Andreas thinks Lisa doesn't like Yudith. So it's better not to let Yudith get close to him.

However, Yudith shook her head as well smiling faintly. As if to say, no pa-pa. Just calm.

"You sure?"

Yudith nodded briefly, then stood up. "Can you wait outside for a minute?"

"Huh? What do you mean?"

"But, Dhit ...."

Andreas and Ririsma exchanged astonished looks, but a moment later the two nodded, reassuring each other wordlessly and then went outside. They were worried, but could not resist Yudith's will. They already know him very well. When there was a desire, Yudith was very difficult to prevent, let alone prohibited.

After the death of Andreas and Ririsma, the girl stepped casually towards Lisa, when she got there immediately put the bread and drinks she brought on the table. At once, Lisa, who had been looking out the window, turned to him. The girl's face immediately reddened, a hateful gaze rolling up and down like a scanner.

"From Andrew" said Yudith kalem. His intention was sincerely shared, because in two days he had heard some news that said that Lisa did not taste food, also had nightmares to scream.

Others may not notice a change in Lisa's attitude. However, in Yudith's eyes, it was clear that Lisa was agitated. He was sure Lisa must be thinking about her challenge that would end tomorrow.

"No-nonsense. No need for mercy either." Lisa brushed off the bread and drink until it fell to the floor.

"I know, always alone is not good" said Yudith, looking down to take the two objects. "I don't have many friends either"

"Not asking and don't care either! Who wants to share your kayak statue? Same with me. I don't want to talk to them. No levels!"

Yudith's lips curled up. The girl slowly sat down on the chair next to Lisa-bread and the drinks were still held in her hands.

"Are you happy?"

Lisa's eyes glanced sharply, her face frowned and her nose frowned like she was smelling a foul scent. "What the hell is that? It's not clear."

"I'm not liked. I know that and don't blame them ...."

Lisa did not want to listen to Yudith's chatter, but her curiosity for the girl prevented her from interrupting. Although always throwing face, but his ears record all.

Feeling that his personal experience was similar to Lisa's, Yudith was suddenly transformed into another version of Yudith-a much-talked version. After about ten minutes, until the bell rang, Yudith spoke without Lisa interrupting her. After that, Yudith's words always ring in Lisa's mind, like a broken cassette that replayed itself.

Everyone has the right to choose and every choice must have an impact, there are even consequences that must be borne.

It is hard not to blame others for what we are suffering. But that does not mean we can just spill anger on them.

Believe, Sa. Having one friend is better than having none. We can be friends.

Make peace with your ego. No longer consider others inferior or enemies. I know you're not evil. I know you're not happy. And I'm sure you've also been lonely and thought about giving up. Despondent. Aye, right?

If you really like Andreas, fight for him in a fair way. Fair which means really not harming anyone. Stop fighting when there is no chance, it is also justice for yourself. Look fair from a positive point of view so that the fair you make a shield when fighting for love does not actually become a blunder.

Only by believing that all is fair in love, you can arbitrarily struggle to force the love of others to turn to you, you will only hurt yourself. Think carefully, ask your heart exactly what you expect ....

The girl sat pensively in the chapel, her back leaning limp against the wall. After the closing service, he did not leave the chapel. In his hand was a pack of headache medicine that he had bought this afternoon at the foundation cooperative.

Me good? Bullshits.

Desperate, huh? Might as well.

A cynical smile fell on his lips that looked dry.

You're not a psychic, are you? Strange girl.

Lisa felt that Yudith had read her mind. How could it be so coincidental. Just last night he was thinking about killing himself because he no longer knew how to win from Yudith, as well as to make parents and people around regret for ignoring him. And today, Yudith talks about despair and wanting to give up, as if she already knew what Lisa was planning.

Lisa stared glued with blank eyes at the drugs in her hands. His mind was in a tremendous scowl, without realizing the tears were flowing.

"Yes, Yeah ...." He muttered very softly.

Meanwhile, Yudith who was feeling worried, constantly thought about Lisa. Sitting facing the book at the study table in the room, his gaze seemed empty. Ririsma who was busy replying to the message while sitting on Yudith's bed did not realize that his friend was daydreaming.

Ever been in a situation where all eyes looked at him hatefully, all mouths blasphemous. The mind feels depressed, but cannot express what it feels to others. Can only cry and scream in the heart, was also stung in the heart of the desire to die so that all his suffering ended. Makes Yudith really understand Lisa's situation.

He was lucky to have friends who loved him. A friend who is always ready to defend him. Because they are strong and able to survive until now.

No one knows the true heart of Judith. No one would have thought that the tough girl ever had the will to die. The secret was kept tight and only himself and God knew.

So many bitter experiences that he felt, making him able to empathize with Lisa. She never looked at Lisa as someone who hated her, but as someone who was lonely, needed attention, needed friends, needed to be approached, directed, and befriend.

Despite not having many friends, Yudith still had Ririsma and Sister Vero, while Lisa was completely alone.