I'm waiting for your Candandamu

Dreamtime

That afternoon the sky was so bright reddish orange, Vino was still sitting next to the mound of land that was still red and studded with flowers on it.

He was holding a brown book. While his eyes did not blink staring at the tombstone before him. Now his eyes did not shed any more tears, he just remained silent with a blank look.

He rested there alone, next to his mother's belly button who had left and left regret in his heart.

Why is this fate so cruel to us Mama? Inner Vino weave.

The sky is getting orange. The wind was blowing cold, yet so dry.

"If my fear had not covered my past memory, perhaps I would have remembered how your love for me was, how tormented you lived in my father's torment, just to survive because of me.

If only I wasn't that coward." murmured Vino softly.

The funeral atmosphere was so silent, as if representing Vino's feelings of emptiness in hurt and regret.

A kind of 'if' word, kept coming out from inside his heart.

Drrrr...

Vino's phone vibrated in his pocket, but he was silent, not shaking the vibration of his phone, until the vibration stopped.

After a while his phone returned to vibrate, Vino slowly reached into his pocket and pulled out his phone.

"Hello Ma" said Vino after seeing who called.

"Hello Vin, you're still in the tomb, son?"

"Yes Ma, Vino still wants to be here for a while" replied Vino.

"Well, soon night will come, you go home first to pray magrib. Dinda is still in the hospital, you accompany her there, because maybe Yanti should go home first. While Mama keep Arka at home," said Mrs Aditya.

"Yes Ma, Vino will be home soon," Vino then hung up after saying his regards.

The handsome man got up from his seat with a weak body.

He stared at his mother's belly button before he finally decided to go home.

Just a few steps Vino walked, his phone vibrated again. Vino looked at the screen of the phone that was in his hand, and it turned out that Rangga was calling.

"Hello Ga, what's the news?" ask Vino.

"Hello Vin, just after coming home from your mother's funeral, I was called by the police. They found the car that hit your mother" Rangga said.

Vino's face instantly turned violent. His hands clenched tightly so that his muscles were clearly visible under the sleeves of the white shirt he pulled up to the elbow.

"Who did it?" ask Vino.

"Police are tracking him. Because the car was a rental car," explained Rangga.

"Well, if you have any more information, call me immediately."

"Okay Vin, of course," replied Rangga.

*****

After the magrib prayer, Vino immediately slid back to the hospital. He also bought food for Yanti and his wife.

"Assalamualaikum" said Vino when opening the door of the treatment room Dinda.

"Waalaikumussalam," replied Dinda and Yanti simultaneously.

Vino developed his smile as he looked at Dinda. He wanted to look good in front of his wife.

Dinda returned her husband's smile, she knew how sad Vino felt.

"Where is Vin's funeral? Is it done?"

"Dear baby" replied Vino.

"I'm sorry, you couldn't attend Vin before" said Yanti.

"It's okay, Brother Yanti again take care of Dinda. In fact, I should thank Brother" said Vino.

"Yes, if so, my brother went home. Tomorrow morning Brother comes again," said Yanti.

"Lho, eaten first his food Kak," said Vino.

"Well, it's troubling you. But Sister can not eat here, kasian husband Sister at home has been staying from morning." said Yanti.

"Oh yes, Brother bring home his food," said Dinda.

"Okay, thank you Vin, big brother first."

After Yanti, Vino opened the porridge box he had just bought for Dinda.

"I think you might not like hospital food, so I bought this porridge," said Vino as he opened the package of plastic spoon.

"Believe me, dear" said Dinda, rising up from her seat slowly. His body still feels pain due to the hard impact, as well as the former stitches of the operation make him grimace because of the pain.

"A little bit, maybe because it's new. Tomorrow is also healed," said Dinda while forcing her smile to calm Vino.

Slowly Vino fed his wife. Dinda looked at Vino's face, still implied sadness there even though her lips were smiling.

"Have you eaten yourself?" ask Dinda.

"Udah was at Mama's house" Vino replied lying, because he actually did not want to eat anything at this time.

After finishing the porridge, Dinda reached for Vino's hand and grasped it. He looked into old Vino's eyes.

"Vin, what happened, it wasn't your fault. Because you don't know the truth at all" said Dinda softly.

"I know, that's why I'm sorry, because I don't remember all my childhood memories with him. I forgot it just because of a trauma, because I was a coward" said Vino. Now his eyes are back in glass.

"No one can fight trauma so easily Vin" Dinda said.

"If I had understood what my mother had been through, if I had understood her suffering, when I had seen her beat up. But I never defended him once. I just cower in fear. Bad memories that have returned in my memory, now continue to be imagined in my mind. Makes me regret my weakness even more" said Vino. He covered his face and tried not to cry, but also his body shook because it held back the cry.

Dinda immediately pulled Vino in her arms. His eyes are glazed over.

"Vino, you were only six years old. Such cruelty certainly scares you and does not know how to defend your mother. Don't blame yourself. Your mother would not want you to get hurt defending her either. Your happiness is his dream. Your life as it is now is his hope. All he wants is to apologize from you" Dinda said, tightening her arms. Tears now flowed down her cheeks.

"I've forgiven Din, there is no more hatred in my heart" Vino said between tears.

"Yes, that's her biggest wish, dear" said Dinda, patting her husband's back.

*****

Little Vino was back curled up in the corner of the table. His face was so pale as he looked at his staggered father walking towards his mother with a stick that was usually used to beat up his mother.

For a moment his father stopped, one hand that grasped the bottle of his drink he lifted, and drank the drink carelessly, until it seeped into his clothes.

His mother had fallen on the floor, slowly looking at him.

"Close your eyes Vino" said his mother as usual. His voice sounded soft and weak.

Little Vino was so frightened, his little hand shook. But his heart could no longer let his mother scream in pain. He would not close his eyes again. He quickly ran in front of his father who was still drinking. She stretched out her small hand and cried out.

"Dad! Don't beat Mama again. My mother was never bad. Vino is always naughty. I hit Vino."

Like gaining new strength, his mother who had been knocked down immediately rose and pulled Vino in his arms. He stood up and held his son. Trudgingly he ran to his room and locked the door. She could not get out of the house, because her husband always locked the door before beating her up and pocketing her keys.

A moment later there were loud screams accompanied by a door blow from his father.

Vino felt his mother's body tremble. He looked up at his mother's face.

"Don't ever stand up for Mom again like that. I don't want you to get hurt. If you get hurt, I'll be very sad. You don't want to be sad, do you?"

Little Vino immediately shook his head.

"You promise you won't do it again, honey?" ask mother.

Little Vino nodded weakly. He hugged his mother tightly.

"Woy.. Get your hands off!" A voice shocked Vino from his dream. He immediately opened his eyes, but because he woke up suddenly, his head felt dizzy. He opened his eyes many times. And he just realized that he was sleeping on the hospital couch, and now he was hugging Rio's head. Reflex he immediately let go of his hand.

"Well, you're nyosorin I'm sleeping again?" ask Vino annoyed.

"Heh, why am I throwing to you. You know, people want to wake up suddenly play pull. You pervert, because his wife is sick again, until carried away by his lustful dreams," Rio picked up while tidying his hair.

Vino's eyes immediately widened upon hearing Rio's words.

"Sorry yes, you are the weathered bujang, not channeled his lust," replied Vino.

Now it was Rio's turn to swerve towards Vino.

"Yes, I don't want to argue with you. Your wife is sick to be guarded. People wait for patients to even molor. I'm here to tell you, if the perpetrator hit-and-run has met. Rangga called me earlier, he said he called you but did not connect," Rio explained with a sour face.

"Oh yeah?" Vino checked his phone.

"My phone is lowbat, you have come from earlier yes," said Vino while glancing at his wife who was still sleeping.

"No, just now. Just relax, your wife is nothing to me" said Rio who understood Vino's jealousy. Then he left without saying goodbye.

Vino looked at Rio back while smiling.

This was the second time I hugged her, after the first time when I was just a new Aditya family. Although not intentionally, but it feels pleasant, inner Vino.

Then he remembered his dream last night. Maybe God filled his sleep with those forgotten memories so that he would not regret himself again.

Thank God. Receive your mother by Your side, amen. Vino's prayer in his heart.

Seriate...

Yuk guys, at the beginning of this Islamic new year, we pray for our parents. May goodness always be with them, amiii...