I'm Not a Killer

Rayan's Tomb

Shortly after Shaka left for the office, Rinjani's mother came with Maher. Jani who was in the back garden smiled at Mom and her brother. Both of course surprised mixed happy to see Jani was willing to smile and even wanted to get out of his room. Jani's face was fresher than usual.

"Jani, what are you doing? " ask Mom as she approaches her daughter. Maher was tailing behind Mom.

"seeing flowers. "

Maher and Mom looked at each other. Surprise again hit both. Jani had just spoken and answered her mother's question, didn't they hear wrong? Some days did not meet the girl, it turns out she has shown a change that is quite rapid.

"You've eaten? " Mom's back fishing Jani talk. And who would have thought his reaction was far beyond expectations.

"Here, with Shaka earlier. "

Mother felt like fainting to hear her daughter who was quite communicative, not frozen as usual. Maher was so, he was stunned to not believe his sister had started to talk a lot. And what made them even more astonished was, Jani had just said 'had eaten with Shaka'

Doesn't he hate Shaka so much?

Didn't he assume Shaka was the defendant of a bad fate that befell him?

Then why would he even eat with the man, what had happened between them?

More or less like that is the heart of Mother and Maher at this time. Their minds are both filled with questions.

"really? you guys eat together? "

Jani nodded in response to the mother's question.

"Do you hate him anymore? "

Oh no, you shouldn't have said that. Because the question made the look on Jani's face immediately changed. It was like thinking back to one thing.

Fortunately, Maher responded with a change in Jani's expression. The man directly held onto his mother's shoulders while slightly shaking his head, as a gesture not to ask anything too heavy, at least for now.

"Oh yeah, what was your breakfast menu earlier, must be a sandwich and fruit juice right? "

Maher tried to lure back the mood of Jani who was almost down by his mother's question earlier. And succeeding, the girl immediately nodded with a smile. That is, we must be careful when talking to people whose souls are or have been injured. Because a little wrong can immediately change his mood.

"Oh yeah by the way the flower garden here is so beautiful, did Shaka deliberately make it for you? "

Jani nodded back. His facial expression improved. And if Maher did not guess wrong, the girl seemed to be very respectful when Maher called Shaka's name earlier. Whether what has happened to the two, which is clear both Maher and mother are very happy with Jani's change, the girl seems to be getting better.

It seems Shaka's efforts are starting to work. Maher could clearly see the look on Jani's face that came back to life. Unknowingly the man who was about the same height as Shaka was smiling. Maher is sure that Shaka and Ananta's doctor have fought very hard to be able to restore his little sister's smile.

"Hey you guys are gathering here apparently?" The name that had just crossed Maher's mind suddenly appeared before them.

Maher turned his head, making sure that what he had just heard was not his hallucination. And of course not, after all Maher is not mentally ill, right?

Doctor Ananta walked over to his mother and children.

"Am I bothering you? "

"Not at all, Doctor. We were just talking to Jani. We hadn't seen her for a long time, "Mom answered with a friendly smile. Smile at Dr. Ananta.

"Wah Jani must be happy for you to visit here. Isn't that right, Jani? "

Rinjani replied with a nod of her head. The response was quite good from the girl considering all this time she did not want to react anything to the person who asked her to talk.

"You've taken your medicine? "

"It." Look at the girl even answered. Doctors Ananta, Maher and also the compact mom smiled for it. But unfortunately their smiles suddenly disappeared when Jani said something.

"I'm going to Rayan's grave. "

The three looked at each other. Just now they were happy because Jani had started to improve, but now the girl was back to recall the thing that caused her heaviest heartbreak.

Maher looked at Dr. Ananta. Ask the opinion of the beautiful doctor and the Doctor responds with a nod of the head.

"You want to go to Rayan's grave, Jani? " ask doctor Ananta very gently.

Rinjani nodded

"You want to tell her something? "

Back the girl nodded. A nod that makes Doctor Ananta also nods.

Rinjani has shown quite positive changes in recent days. And the sentence that just called 'rayan's tomb is also considered by Ana's doctor as a form of good change. Because usually Jani never mention 'tomb'. The girl always called Rayan's tomb 'House'

But this morning the girl began to call Rayan's final resting place a 'tomb', and for a mental doctor it was very good, of course, because it means that Jani has indirectly accepted the fact that Rayan has indeed died.

And if at this time Jani wants to go to Rayan's tomb, Ana's doctor understands that maybe the girl is missing Rayan. Just like when we miss someone who is gone, we will often visit his grave.

"All right, you can go there. Your sister and mother will take you. "

Doctor Ana looks at Mom and Maher in turn. And the two compactly nodded in understanding the pretty doctor's gesture.

"But I'm sorry, Jani. I can't come with. I still have needs. "

Jani nodded. Although it had improved enough, but the girl still did not say much. He often answers with a head movement. But it's ok, again, it's good enough than just being silent without expression.

"Don't forget to pray for Rayan so that she will be at peace there. " The message of Ana's doctor to further alert Jani that Rayan is no longer there.

The plan is that doctor Ana here as usual wants to check on Jani's condition as well as doing nerve therapy for the girl, but since today Jani wants to see Rayan's tomb, Ana's doctor also chose to resign.

"Thank you doctor. This morning we saw a lot of changes from Jani. We're sure it must be because of you. "

Before Ananta left, Maher expressed his gratitude because he believed Ananta's doctor was one of the people who played an important role in Jani's recovery that was already starting to be clearly seen.

"Don't hesitate, Maher. That was my job. But if you want to thank me, thank Shaka. He's the most effective medicine for Jani. "

"Well, it looks like it." Maher nodded in confirming.

"Oh yes, doctor. Doesn't it matter if he goes to Rayan's grave? I'm afraid he'll come back down later. "

Doctor Ananta smiled.

"Hopefully no. Seeing from his condition I think Jani has improved enough. Maybe he was just thinking about Rayan .. The important thing you do not ask the things that make it so disturbed. If you want to talk, talk lightly ... The point is even though Jani has improved enough, you still have to keep his psychic. "

"All right, we understand. Thank you, Doctor."

Doctor Ana nodded with a smile. He thinks Jani's brother is very stiff. His manner of speaking was also very formal. He warned me not to call him a doctor. But yes, maybe he was just trying to be polite, Ana thought.

After the beautiful doctor left, Jani and his family immediately moved towards Rayan's tomb. But until there, Rinjani forbade Maher and his mother to come down.

"Mother and sister in the car alone, "he said with a language that still sounded stiff. Understand, this girl rarely speaks.

"Why, Jani. You want to go to the tomb yourself? "

"Yes, Mom. I just want to talk to Rayan. "

Maher and Mom looked at each other. The distance from the car to the tomb is not too far away. But still they are worried about taking Jani off alone. Especially in that place there are many trees or flowers that certainly prevent them from watching Jani from afar.

"Alright, Jani. We will not go to Rayan's tomb ... But we also did not wait in the car, we wanted to take a walk around the tomb. The air here is very fresh. The flowers are also very nice. "

Rinjani frowned at her brother's ridiculous excuse. Since when does Maher love flowers? maybe that's what's on the girl's mind. But even so, he still nodded.

After Jani went down, Maher and Mom also came down. They pretended to walk around the tomb. Though their goal is just to keep an eye on Jani. After all, since when was the tomb made a place for sightseeing?

As soon as Jani stops at Rayan's grave, Mom and Maher also stop. They stopped at a distance of several meters from Rayan's tomb. From that place they could clearly see what Jani was doing, but of course could not hear what the girl was saying.

"Rayan, how are you? Sorry I haven't visited you in a long time. " Rinjani rubbed Rayan's headstone.

"I also want to apologize that lately I've been ignoring you a lot ... I don't know why either. Suddenly I felt comfortable near Shaka. I should hate him, right? I should have made him suffer, right? but I don't know why lately I've been feeling comfortable being around her." Jani paused for a moment, adjusting her breathing which suddenly felt tight.

"Shaka can make me very calm and comfortable, Rayan. He can also ward off nightmares in my sleep. I tried my best to hate him, and tried my best to torture him, but now I'm comfortable with him. " Rinjani let a clear melt spill from the corner of her eye. Confusion and strange feelings that are often felt lately he will try to express in front of Rayan's tomb.

"I don't know, Rayan. I don't know why things can be like this. All beyond my will, " said Jani again with a face more bowed. His hands were somehow conscious of not twisting the grass helain above the tomb.

"I'm sorry, if later my plan to take revenge on her fails. Forgive me if I have to break my promise. I don't know why, I really don't know. I only know one thing right now. I feel comfortable being around her .. but trust me, even so I never forget you. I'm just trying to accept the fact that you don't exist. "

Rinjani got up while wiping her tears. The girl then rubbed Rayan's headstone back.

"I would also like to apologize if after this I might rarely visit you. Peace is there Rayan. I'll also try to stand up for reality." After saying that Rinjani began to move. There was a bit of relief in his heart as he had just revealed everything. Only in front of Rayanlah did the girl want to talk a lot. Only in front of Rayan Jani felt able to melt all the tightness that had been squeezing his chest.

Rinjani did not realize that after he left there was an invisible figure who looked at him with a smile.