I'm Not a Killer

Sleep together

Shaka walked slowly towards Rinjani's room tidying up the white shirt he had just put on. Before leaving for the office, as usual he will first go to the wife's room "outside the usual" to give breakfast to the girl.

Three days ago, it became her morning routine. After finishing feeding her big baby then Shaka will fill her own stomach before finally leaving for the office.

Usually when Shaka enters, he will be immediately greeted with a beautiful view of Jani's face that has just finished bathing. But this time Shaka no longer saw the sight. What is caught by the net is precisely the shabby face and hair disheveled Jani and also the eyes that are moist like people lack of sleep.

"Jani, haven't you taken a shower? " Shaka approached the girl who was still sitting leaning on the bed.

The girl did not answer. His eyes were also empty without direction. It certainly makes Shaka memicing wonder. These two days he noticed there was a slight change in the girl, but now it was back abnormal again?

"Jani why?" shaka asked again but there was still no answer.

"You want to go to Rayan's? " Shaka thinks maybe Jani is angry because he has not kept his promise to go to Rayan's meal. But unexpectedly Jani turned out to shake his head.

"Then, what do you want? tell me, I will definitely fulfill it. " Shaka kept Jani talking but the girl was reluctant to open her voice. That made Shaka finally choose to shut up and feed Jani without speaking.

But unfortunately only three times the mouthful then the girl shook her head.

"Have you? " tanyanya wonder.

"But you just ate a little, plus again, yeah .. You have to eat a lot to let your mind calm down."

Although Shaka knows very well that it is not Jani's body that is sick, but Shaka also knows that an empty stomach will make our mindset so unstable. Especially Jani whose mind is indeed being disturbed.

Rinjani shook her head weakly as she brushed off the hand of Shaka who was trying to bribe her.

"Yes, if you don't want to eat .. but you still have to take the medicine?"

Jani did not reply, but did not refuse when Shaka held out the medicine in his mouth.

Due to the time, Shaka finally had to leave Jani in his silence. He got to the office and even went home again. The shadow of Jani's strange behavior still disturbed his mind.

He was already happy because two days Jani was willing to interact with him. The girl also no longer berates Shaka by saying that Shaka killed Rayan.

But today Jani's attitude again made him sigh.

His hope of seeing Jani recover must be broken. Jani's blank gaze hinted that his soul was still injured.

In the dera of worry that is quite disturbing makes the man immediately check on Jani's condition once he returns home.

Without asking Bikin Nah first, Shaka immediately went up to Jani's room. The man found his wife sitting on the balcony of the room.

Honestly there is a feeling of worry every time you see Jani standing there. Shaka is afraid of Jani suddenly jumping and free-falling from the place. Although not too high, but still can make fractures or even death if the head first hit the floor.

Akh..! Shaka shook his head, expelling the bad thoughts that suddenly lodged.

He then entered the girl's room without a sound

"Jani what are you doing? it's night, let's go in" he asked the girl who was staring at the night sky.

Just like this morning, the girl did not reply. But when Shaka's hand meant to lead her in, the girl immediately brushed aside. He complies with Shaka's invitation to enter but refuses Shaka's touch.

It's ok, the important thing is that he wants in, Shaka thought.

"You've eaten? " ask Shaka as soon as Jani sits on her bed

Jani nodded

"Have you taken your medicine? "

Back nod.

"Smart girl. " Shaka rubbed the girl's head slowly, and this time she did not refuse.

Shaka is indeed on a massive mission to restore the psychic Jani as before. Shaka wants the girl to come to terms with reality so that she can no longer blame him for all the bad fate that has befallen her. That was why Shaka always tried to soften his heart as well as his attitude towards the girl.

They've been living together for months, but Jani is still like that. But no matter what the condition of Jani, Shaka tries not to get tired let alone give up. One belief in his heart. Jani will recover and be able to return to normal life.

"Now you sleep. It's night ... Calm your mind so you don't have nightmares anymore. "

After saying so Shaka left the girl. Jani's eyes were difficult to understand as Shaka began to step outside. Like wanting to prevent but not spoken.

Shaka himself actually wanted to accompany Jani to sleep, but because he felt uncomfortable and was afraid Jani was also uncomfortable then he chose to let Jani sleep alone. After two nights of company, Shaka decided to let Jani sleep on his own.

And because Jani also seems to have been able to sleep well, then tonight Shaka again let Jani sleep alone.

Shaka himself once entered his room immediately cleaned himself and then rested. That stern-faced man was indeed quite tired today. Evidently shortly after laying down his body, Shaka immediately fell asleep.

Prang...!

At twelve o'clock thirty minutes in the morning, Shaka who was lena in his sleep suddenly shocked by the sound of falling objects that are quite loud. His voice was so loud that it broke the silence of the night. Shaka even jumped and immediately woke up.

"Whatis that? " his murmur was trying to confirm the sound of the voice just now.

"Like the sound of broken glass .. and the direction is like from room--"

Shaka does not continue his alibi but goes straight to Jani's room. According to Shaka the voice came from there.

And Shaka's guess is right. When he opened the door he saw the glass fragments of Rinjani's dressing table were scattered everywhere. While Jani sat down while hugging his knees and hid his face above the knees.

"Go.. go...! "

The girl spoke to herself while trembling like a frightened person. Seeing that certainly made Shaka panic.

"Knees.. " Saka immediately ran over to the girl.

"Go.., go..! don't bother me..!" The girl wagged her hands as if she was dispelling a disturbing figure.

"Jani, calm down it's me. " Shaka holding Jani's hands made the girl even more frightened. He thought Shaka was the one in his dream.

"Go, go...!" the girl's cry grew louder as she tried to let go of her hand. But strangely, despite thrashing with all his might, but the girl's face remained bowed like she did not dare to look up to see who was in front of her.

"Jan calm down, it's me. Open your eyes. "

Hearing that, Jani dared to look up. And once he realized that the one in front of him was Shaka, the girl immediately hugged.

"Help me, help me, they're taking me. " Even in Shaka's arms the girl was still raving. It seems like his dream this time was really bad.

"Jani, relax. " For the umpteenth time Shaka said that sentence.

"I'm here, no one will dare to take you. Calm down." Shaka rubbed Jani's back. The man could feel Jani's body trembling in fear.

Oh my God, what a dream is that he's scared like this

Suddenly Shaka is wracked with guilt for letting the girl sleep by herself. He thought after having accompanied him for two nights, Jani was able to sleep well. But no, the girl was still in a nightmare. Even these two nights were worse than usual. That is why this morning Jani's psychic condition was again disturbed because of the night he could not sleep well and continued to disturb nightmares

Jani felt that someone would take her away. Even when he woke up, he saw that person still bothering him. He stood in front of Jani's mirror. That's why the girl threw the mirror with a clock on her desk. He wants that person or figure to really leave.

Though Shaka had asked Bik Nah not to put a glass object in Jani's room. Because it can be dangerous when the girl goes berserk. Bik Nah had gotten rid of everything, but he seemed to have forgotten the clock that Jani had just used to throw glass.

Shaka sighed, seemingly unable to let Jani sleep on his own, he thought as his hand continued to wipe.

"You scared? " he asked Jani who looked calm in his arms.

The girl nodded.

"You want me to accompany you? "

Jani was silent for a moment before finally nodding weakly. Although from the beginning she hated Shaka a lot, but somehow this time she felt she needed the man to help her.

"Alright, then I'll accompany you." Letting go of the embrace and guiding Jani to lie down.

The girl complied as Shaka laid down her body. Even though his heart was raging withstanding the uncertain feelings. Jani was astonished. Doesn't she hate Shaka so much, but why doesn't she get angry when Shaka touches her. And they'll even go back to sleep together, right?

"Sleep, I won't leave you even if you're asleep." Shaka lies down next to Jani.

Silence is created between the two. For Shaka, maybe he just wanted to calm Jani down, but for the girl, he was very confused right now. Why he can sleep alone with a husband who is very hated. The question just kept filling the room he thought.

Rinjani looked up at Shaka, reassuring herself that the person next to her right now was Shaka, the person she had been desperate to eliminate for months.

Rinjani's confusion is precisely what he considers other by Shaka. The man thought Jani was still frightened so it was difficult to close his eyes.

"Why can't you sleep? you still scared?"

Jani could not answer because he was confused himself. And Jani's silence is precisely the meaning of "iya" by Shaka.

The man then took the initiative to win Jani even more. He moved the girl's head to her shoulder, then his hand moved rubbing Jani's head. Just like a mother putting her child to sleep.

Jani who is still confused again just according. If the other day he sleeps in Shaka's arms outside of his consciousness, this time everything happens in a conscious state.

While Shaka, the man actually broke a thin smile from the corner of his lips. Rinjani did not make any contact at all when she touched him, it means that her emotions have started to improve. Although fear is the initial cause, but who cares. What is clear all that shows that Jani has started to improve, well hopefully.

Months of marriage, only this time the two can touch each other in a conscious state. Shaka and Jani's heart rhythm suddenly beats faster, trying to be ignored by both.