I'm Not a Killer

Feel stupid

Daytime at the office, night confinement or perhaps more precisely confined at home. That's Shaka's daily life now. Since marrying Jani. His world only ranged from house to office, or from office to home. That, that's all. He never went on a business trip out of town or country. He always told Randi to do it.

Honestly sometimes there are feelings that arise. First, when the first time to live with Jani. Shaka felt like he was locked up in a stuffy, crowded dungeon. So torturing.

But that was before. And now I don't know why the story is so different. He who usually returns home with a sigh in order to be patient with Rinjani's behavior, this time the man came home with a question. "Jani what are you doing now? "

If you say it's weird, it's definitely weird. Shaka was even confused. But yes that is how it is. Like this afternoon when she was just coming home, Shaka went straight up to Jani's room to see what the girl was doing. Usually Shaka would close the door again after seeing Jani for a moment. But this time it's different.

The man was astonished because Jani was not in his room. Not on the balcony as usual. Shaka had a little panic and wanted to ask Bik Nah directly, but when the clear netra found the girl standing in the back garden, Shaka immediately breathed a sigh of relief.

He watched Jani from above. The girl was wearing a nightgown but more like a white knee-length dress. So graceful. His dense black hair simply decomposed and occasionally moved in the wind.

Shaka subconsciously smiled watching the beautiful scene. Jani who is in a position to back him certainly does not know if anyone is paying attention. But as Shaka keeps seeing her eventually the girl feels too.

He looked back or up at the balcony of his room. The girl displayed a surprised and confused look at Shaka who was secretly watching her.

Shaka who was caught watching was no less surprised. He hurriedly threw away his gaze and walked out of Jani's room.

"What's wrong with me? why am I watching Jani all the way? " while walking towards his room the man muttered to himself. Strange feeling again.

Even until ready to shower and change clothes, Shaka is still haunted by a feeling of confusion.

"Don't be right Randi's guess. I must've followed depression like Jani." The man muttered again, this time ruffling his own hair.

***

Tonight Shaka intends not to feed Jani. He wanted to see the girl's reaction. Whether he's upset or not if Shaka abzen from his duties tonight.

Shaka had told Bik Nah to tell Jani that tonight he could not bribe her.

Fifteen minutes, thirty minutes, even up to an hour passed. There was no sound from Jani's room. Just be quiet.

A breath of relief came out of Shaka's mouth and nose. Jani does not react to anything even though Shaka abzen from his duties. That means the girl is already showing signs of healing.

To further prove his assumptions, Shaka even intends to test whether Jani can sleep well and not in a nightmare tonight if he does not accompany him. If it can, it means fix, the girl has indeed healed.

"Aaaah.. " Shaka laid her tall body firmly on her soft bed. The bed that has been empty for several nights is without occupants. Finally Shaka can also feel free sleep without anyone bothering. It feels so comfortable.

Comfortabley? is Shaka really comfortable? then why until almost midnight the man had not been able to close his eyes. Instead of comfortable Shaka it just looks restless. tilt his body to the right or left. Hoping for sleepiness to come soon, but nil, until almost midnight, his eyes were still wide open.

Shaka looked at his own body. Usually there is Jani who is attached tightly to his body. But not anymore. Shaka should feel comfortable because he has just been free from parasites, but why does he feel that there is something empty?

"****..!" annoyed at not being able to fall asleep, Shaka throws his roll as an impingement.

"Why am I so restless? shouldn't I be happy, but why am I so unsettled? " Shaka cursed the uncomfortable feeling that was attacking him.

The man then went to the glass cabinet in the corner of the room, where he stored various brands of alcoholic beverages. Shaka wanted to drink a little of it. In addition to throwing away his discomfort also to fish so that his sleepiness quickly comes. Perhaps drinking a bottle or two will make him dizzy and eventually fall asleep, Shaka thought.

The closet was open and Shaka's hand was outstretched about to take one of the bottles, but suddenly one of his heart prevented.

You don't need that, all you need now is to look at Jani and make sure the girl's okay.

Shaka pensively thought about what had just crossed his mind. Right, he's nervous and uncomfortable like this because of Jani. So maybe he should have seen the girl.

Shaka finally closed the door of the closet or storefront then out to Jani's room. Shaka hated his actions so much at this moment. He can't help but look at Jani, it's so annoying ! since then, the girl has not shown any reaction.

The man walked around like a thief. As usual, he did not want to make the slightest sound.

That means Jani can sleep well tonight. And that means the girl is getting better, Shaka thought.

She left the girl's room feeling relieved. It should be, but in reality he still felt uncomfortable.

"Damn..! what's the matter with me, actually? " the question and swearing sentences were heard again. Even this time while hitting his own head.

Just as Shaka was at the door of his room, the man turned his back and returned to Jani's room. Shaka was already really like a dazed person tonight, pacing back and forth like a piece of clothing.

With mixed feelings, the man immediately opened Jani's room as soon as he reached the front of the room. Shaka no longer wants to eavesdrop. The uneasiness and curiosity that seemed to be killing him made him no longer think long.

Ceklek, the door opened and his hazel eyes immediately saw the appearance of Jani who was sitting with a blank look. The girl did not even flinch when the door of her room opened. Just stared for a moment and then without expression.

"Jani, aren't you asleep? " shaka was surprised to find that the beautiful girl was still opening her eyes, even sitting down. Though he thought Jani was sound in his sleep.

Jani did not say, but his blank look made Shaka aware of one thing, the girl had not really improved. His blank gaze hinted at his soul that was still injured. The empty gaze that has not been seen lately is now back to look and even more terrible than before, Shaka even goosebumps on him.

"Jani why? " Saka rushed in and hugged the girl.

"Why not sleep?" tanyanya worried

"I don't want to sleep, something's gonna bother me if I go to sleep." Jani's voice sounded very cold, very horrible.

Shaka let go of his embrace and stared fixedly at Jani. True, the girl was not healed yet.She was still afraid when she would fall asleep. And look, she had even just spoken with her blank stare.

Shaka condemns his folly of allowing the girl to sleep on her own in order to test her. Though Jani only began to show signs of improving, but Shaka was immediately rash with his ridiculous pretext.

Jani is no longer angry or tantrums. But his reaction at this moment actually made Shaka more afraid. It is better for Jani to get angry and blow it all away instead of staying silent with this blank view, it is much more dangerous for Shaka because it indicates his psychic who is back injured.

Shaka rubbed gently on Jani's face that had not been able to blink since.

"Sorry, yeah. I should have accompanied you. Sorry to scare you again. " Shaka again grabbed Jani's body in her arms. But Jani's reaction remained the same as it had been silent expressionless.

"I promise Jani, after this I won't let you sleep alone anymore .. Now calm down, I'm already here. You can sleep well now. " Shaka really feels stupid now. He sighed regretting all the stupidity he had done.

Shaka leads Jani to lie down. He made his arm as a bearing for Jani's head. Then his hand moved up and down rubbing the girl's head.

"Sleep, " she said, guiding Jani's hand to circle around her waist. Shaka wants to make Jani really sleep well tonight. He wanted to make amends for allowing the girl to continue to sit back from sleepiness just because she wanted to avoid nightmares.

Jani started to respond. He winks his eyes. I don't know, why Shaka's touch is always able to make Jani calm.

Why is it so comfortable ?

Why does it feel so calming?

The girl was back in the wracked senses. Why does every Shaka hold her heart so calm, as if all the fear and all the stifling just melted away by the touch of Shaka.

The girl looked up at Shaka's face. Seeking answers to all questions. But he found nothing but a handsome face that was staring back at him with a faint smile.

"Why, still afraid? " Shaka was astonished that Jani was looking at her with a different look than usual. And believe it or not, Shaka no longer saw hatred in those eyes.

Jani did not answer, but his eyes were still fixed. The two of them met at one point. The heart beat of both also blends into a rhythm that is equally tight.

And either consciously or not slowly Shaka close his lips to softly kiss Jani's forehead.

Jani's heart stopped beating, her body shaking. He was surprised not to play. Eagerly angry, eager to slap the lips of Shaka who had just kissed him, but his body was frozen in place. He can't do anything. Because honestly one side of his heart said that he liked the touch of Shaka just now.