I LOVE YOU BECAUSE GOD

CHAPTER 35: Red Tulips or White Tulips?

I was sitting in my room. After from the park the Nature Doctor immediately drove me home. I'm lyric clock that is in front of me already at 1 in the morning. But I still can't close my eyes. I was still thinking about what decision I would take for my relationship with the Nature Doctor.

Thinking about all that made my head a little dizzy. I got out of my bed to get water. I decided to pray istikharah. Hopefully after I pray I can make the right decision.

After the prayer was not strong I immediately prayed for guidance to God. I raised both my hands.

“Yes Allah, O my Lord, why do you give a servant such a great trial? O Allah, at this time the servant is very confused as to how? Right now the servant is very sick and maybe the age of the servant is soon, the servant begs from you O Allah what the servant should do. Should I cancel my wedding? Servant loves her very much servant can not lose her but servant also can not see her life suffer if continue to be with servant. Servant beg your guidance O Allah.” My prayer.

I wiped my tears. I folded the face I was wearing and kept it in the closet. I sat back on my bed. After praying my mind a little quiet I decided to go to sleep because tomorrow I have to see a Doctor of Nature.

The next day.....

I walked into a flower shop. The seller greeted me with a smile.

“Good morning,” greet the florist to me.

I returned it with a smile. “There can I help?” tanyakanya.

“I want to find tulips,” I said.

“Please there are many tulips here, want what color?” tanyakanya.

I stared at the tulip flower in front of me. To be honest I was still confused as to what color flowers should be given to the Nature Doctor. Red or white?

I took a deep breath and breathed it out. I have to be confident in my decision and be ready to accept all the consequences.

“I want white tulips,” I said.

“Wait a minute,” said.

A few minutes later the florist came with a bouquet of flowers. I paid for it and left the place. I stood on the side of the road waiting for a taxi. I looked at the flower in my hand. I pray in my heart that this is the best for all.

When I saw a taxi pass I stopped it. As soon as the taxi stopped I immediately went inside and mentioned the address of Doctor Alam's house. A few minutes later I arrived in front of Doctor Alam's house. I didn't go down I sat in the cab for a while.

I took a breath and I exhaled a few times until I felt calm.

“Pak can you please wait for me a minute here?” ask the taxi driver.

“Good mbak,” said.

I took my breath and breathed it out for the last time. I got out of the taxi and walked towards the Doctor Alam's house. I stood at the door but refused to knock. Suddenly the door opened and the Nature Doctor came out from inside the house. He's been so neat it looks like he's leaving for work.

“Nayla,” said.

I smiled at him. “Why aren't you here knocking on the door?” tanyakanya.

“No papa mas, actually there is something I say to you,” I said.

“Kalo so we go in first,” he said asking me to come in.

“No need to mas, here I am just for a moment,” I said.

“Judah we sit down first.” He said he asked me to sit down.

I immediately sat down and hid the flowers I was carrying behind my back.

“What do you want to say?” tanyakanya.

“I want to give this to you.” I said I gave the flower I was hiding.

“Tulip white? What does that mean why you gave this to me?” tanyakanya.

“Mas, I want to cancel our marriage,” I said while trying to hold back my tears.

“Why? Did I make a mistake with you?” tanyakanya.

“You are not wrong I am wrong, from the beginning I was wrong I should not accept you,” I said.

“I'm fine,” I said.

“But why are you suddenly talking like gini?” tanyakanya.

“Because I just realized that my decision has been wrong,” I said.

“Means?” tanyakanya.

“Iya I have already accepted your application, as long as you know mas actually I never love you.” I said standing behind him I do not want him to see if I cry.

“Then why did you accept me?” tanyakanya.

“I feel sorry for you. I thought after I received you I could fall in love with you but the truth is not, it was just that I suffered more.” I said.

The Nature Doctor approached me. “ I do not believe in you and this is a flower you love I also do not need.” he said throw it away.

“As far as you want to accept the flower what is certain our wedding is off,” I said.

“Kalo I don't want?” tanyakanya.

“That's your business from now on we have no relationship anymore.” I said I was going to take my bag.

The Nature doctor held me down, he pulled my hand. He held my shoulder and stared intently at me.

“Please me mas,” I said thrashing.

The Nature Doctor tightened his grip. He kept looking at me with a glare of anger. I've never seen him this angry that I know a Doctor of Nature is a kind and patient person.

“Nayla see my eyes!” said.

I turned my face away. “Kalo everything you said was true now you look me in the eye,” he said.

I looked directly into his eyes. I can't actually look at him like this but I have to be able to get him to believe what I'm saying. The Nature Doctor didn't expect me to dare look him in the eye.

“I will let you go, but you have to say everything you just said before my eyes,” he said.

I looked into his eyes. “I have never loved you, I have accepted you, I do not want to marry you, and I have met you.” I said.

The Nature Doctor immediately took his hand off me. He turned his body behind me. I know for sure this time the tiger was very devastated. But I did all this for his own good.

“I'm sorry about you,” I said then left.

I immediately ran into the taxi. I can't hold back my tears anymore.

“Pak, go!” I said to the driver.

The taxi began to leave the home of the Nature Doctor. Suddenly the taxi stopped.

“Why stop sir?” my many.

“That's no one in front,” he said.

I saw Doctor Alam standing right in front of the taxi.

“Nayla, we have to talk!” his yell.

I opened the window and shouted at him. “Mas, move!” my yelling.

“I don't want us to have to talk to Nay,” he said.

I closed the window. “ How to mbak?” ask the taxi driver.

“We're puters back sir,” I said.

The taxi driver turned back the taxi. When he found out the taxi was about to go, the Nature Doctor chased him. But his efforts were in vain that the taxi had already left his house.