I Am You And That Time II

Uncontrolled

I don't believe in my vision, for me you're my best man friend, I love your smile, I love the warmth of your touch, I love whatever it is of you, I love whatever it is of you, even our ridiculous mannerisms and debates, I like all of that

to me you are a good person that God gave me, I know very well how you always treat me, warmly, with full of feelings, I know you love me so much, she said, is it because Reo asked you ?

but that sketch, that sentence from your mama's mouth, your kiss to all that sweet treatment, do you love me so much ! why are you holding back all your feelings for me ! can I ask ? actually I want to know that, that's what I'm here for now

I'm waiting for the right moment to ask you

but it seems like your time with you always feels different, I get swept away with all our togetherness

until if it's a feeling or what I don't really care about, besides there are other men who are with me, I don't want to be a traitor (in the beginning )

should our relationship be like this ?

you again do this to me, look at me with your own eyes, cover me, touch me warmly and with heart,

Azka you're like a fortress to me, you're making me a little stronger

I became more excited and able to endure because now that you're back by my side, you're always there to accompany me ! I'm so grateful, you're like my miss cure

but..

I don't trust you ! is that what you're holding ? is that a sedative ? what are you gulping at, you taking that hard medicine !

you're my medicine and you're..

why are you like this ! why did you hurt your heart ! why you hurt yourself

" Azka." called me down, making him immediately turn his head and be surprised

I stared clearly at what was the contents of his hand, you could not hide it, his face was clearly anxious and afraid

" what is it ? " i shouldn't have to ask, I shouldn't have wanted to know, I could have read it earlier

is this what your mom meant ! is this a habit you kept from me ! what problems do you face that you have to take those severe depression pills

" A.. Ailee. "she's stammered, obviously.she's being caught off guard by my sharp gaze.

you even hurt yourself earlier, I can see clearly that

now that his hand was rubbing roughly his face, he was very different

The Azka I know has a worried and scared face right now, aren't you confident ?

" what's up Azka ? are you sick ? " i asked in a quiet voice as possible

I've heard someone with a mental disorder is very vulnerable to his emotions, I'm afraid Azka might be like that,

his house had been a mess before

" Ailee you don't see me ! " his door in a trembling voice, he turned his back to me covering his face

hesitantly I tried to touch her shoulder, her anxious behavior making me worry

" Azka." call me slowly, I just want to calm her down and ease her panic tension

" i said don't look at me ! " the cry started to raise my voice, making me a little trepidation

but I tried to touch her one more time

Azka tried to pull my hand violently, she had never been like this before, I had never seen Azka like this, what happened ! you're making me anxious Azka !

he didn't take my touch, he brushed it off, I couldn't have let you be like this

SREETS...

I put my hand on the back of that field, I don't want you to keep going like this, I don't like you like yourself like this, let me calm you down, let me, please please..

Azka berahan began to lower her hands, now she no longer covered her reddened face

" Ailee. "her call still sounds a little quivering.

I lay my head beside Azka's face, leaning with my chin on her shoulder

I could hear his rapid breathing

I could hear his irregular heartbeat

why are you like this, friend ?

" Ailee don't be like this to me, I don't need your pity. "her murmurs quivered, she started to fall tears.

his anxious face now turned mellow, Azka whom I know cheerfully now began to sob deeply

" Azka's.. "

I took off my arms and knelt down before him, next to his extended leg, I tried to look into those eyes, why did he dodge, what's wrong with you ?

Azka kept avoiding my eyes, and it made me even more anxious

I raised both hands quickly, holding back the arm she made, I clenched her cheeks, asking her to stare at me

what are you doing ! you scare me, I'm afraid I'll lose you ! I don't want you to be like this Azka

I could see the look in her empty eyes, her tears still rolling

Azka... You make me sad, what have I done to you until you are like this ?

but he was only speechless with tears falling on the end of his chin

" why are you like this ? what should I do for you ? " my door asked for an answer, I couldn't see your unusual panicked face

Azka looked straight into my eyeballs, she tried to attract a smile, I could still stare at her shadow even though it faded because my focus was blocked by tears that began to come down

" i. liked you... "

DEGG !!!!

my heart instantly hit like a sharp spear

what did you say ? you love me ?

" you like me ? " ask me with a flat face

" i've always loved you, made me want to go away from you, I've always loved you made me have to keep my own feelings, I love you even though I know you can never repay me.. "

her face was flat but her eyes were anxious

her smiling lips were unable to hide her sadness and disappointment

I know that very well

" i will always love you even if I try to get rid of that feeling" he murmured softly.

I can't answer

" please, stay away from me Ailee.."

the door's welding

what did he say ! I should stay away from her ? is that.. I didn't hear wrong ? how could it be, your departure in the past has irritated me to this day

" i can't get away from you, "I'm honest.

" what do you want then ? " ask Azka raised her hand

her index finger touched the tip of my nose, her empty eyes began to descend following the movements of her fingers

I glanced at the cold-landing index finger at the tip of my nose, the finger lingering downwards over my lips, continuing down with a cold feeling that touched my skin

Azka streaked from the tip of the nose, between the lips down to the chin and spread slowly to the base of my neck

what's he doing ? the movement made my chest shake violently, you made me misbehave and not understand

Azka looked back into my eyes with a deep look

" i could never have you ! " he exclaimed with a cynical smile, he stretched himself leaning against the foot of the sofa

I don't like to see his expression hurt, I don't want to make this guy hurt, I can't forgive myself if I keep making him like this !

I grabbed the neck of this man's shirt and pulled it rough until our faces were so close that I could take a breath of it, that I could touch the skin of his nose with my lips

" i'll be yours, but you can't carry on like this" replied me with threatening eyes.

my hand immediately grabbed the bottle in his hand and threw it somewhere

the bottle left a rolling sound in our silence

I stared hard at the flat face in front of me

" want to joke. "he said with a mocking laugh, you can't believe it ! your laughter irritates me, it irritates my heart, you infuriate me !

I pulled once again the Azka T-shirt, made our lips meet

this time I brought my body closer, sitting on his lap

" who do you think I am" I said between our kisses, he still laughed in disbelief.

" i like you too ! " get back to me seriously while kissing her again

I'm sure he believes now, I can feel his tight hold on my back, the man clutches my body tight, he kisses me even more fiercely, you believe now, you know, why not from earlier !

maybe I made a big mistake tonight, maybe I'll regret it later, but right now all I'm thinking about is, I don't want you to lose any more of my life

" i love you. I always love you. I always love you. " whispered Azka continuously in my ears.

the whispers that make my desires tempestuous, make my heart thump, you are my friend, I am too comfortable with your treatment

I was too selfish of you, you should have told me a long time ago

I love you too ! I want to reply like that, but there's something else stuck in here, in my chest

let this little touch answer all, my fingers begin to touch every detail of the handsome face of the man before me at this moment, the little touch that seduces him, as you did just now, I can do that too

the warm touch of my fingertips that traces every corner of your senses, do you like it ? of course, you even closed your eyes enjoying it

I laughed amusedly at Azka's face, as soon as I remembered her innocent body this afternoon, the dirty thoughts returned, should we start all this tonight ?

then..what about tomorrow?

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who has not given points for this novel, divide dong say... hehehe let me add gercep !!