Husband, If Your Father Is On Your Mother, Your Sins Are On Me

Episode 51

"There is no parent who does not want to fulfill the child's wishes. But in fact, always fulfilling the wishes of children will have less good impact for themselves. The child will be accustomed to asking, no matter the situation and condition of the parents. Children should be given understanding early on, otherwise all their wishes can be achieved through the hands of parents. Children must understand, if parents also have limitations." - Author

***

It has been almost three months, Mas Yandri and I have been working on this roasted chicken business. Little by little we collect rupiah to then save. Our condition is still far from stable, making me have to brake a lot of personal desires. I've been used to it for a long time, but not when it comes to children. It was hard to refuse Dre's request when he who understood asked for something he wanted. My heart was heartless, but I was determined not to follow Dre's will. For a long time he understood, his parents had limitations.

***

"Neng, Mas got a job offer. But strangely, Mas did not feel ever applying to this company." Mas Yandri said to me who was putting Dre to sleep.

"The "position offered is also good. But real time anyway? Weird rich that is, do not enter the application but know-tau there is an offer. Fraud times huh Neng?"

I looked at him. "There's Mas' office address? Try to find out on the internet."

Mas Yandri dictated an address I typed directly into the search engine. When the results came out, I was stunned.

"Mas, his office is in the area. The name of the company is the same. If you think of nipu, what is the intention. You see, the office is big, Mas" I flipped the screen of my phone to show Mas Yandri.

"Yes Neng, the exact same company name and address. How's dong? Take don't? This in his email is said if they wait for the presence of Mas about 10 more days in Jakarta. Mas got confused, Neng," said Mas Yandri.

"Yes, don't be confused. Istikharah aja, ask for the best." I proposed to him.

"Yes, I'm istikharah."

***

For a few days, buyers are not too many. Even yesterday, we did not manage to sell a single piece. Mas Yandri and I were mostly silent while waiting for a buyer.

***

"Neng, Mas kaya is going to Jakarta" said Mas Yandri as we waited for buyers.

"Yes, please. Hopefully this is the best path. When do you leave?" i asked.

"If you use the bus for about 2 days on Neng road. The day after tomorrow we have to leave. Huddling is better than being late. How much are our savings? Not enough for a round-trip bus?" Mas Yandri said while showing the price of bus tickets to Jakarta.

"God willing enough Mas, there are still the rest also make the handle Mas."

Mas Yandri was silent. "Handle for 2 only Neng, for you same Dre. As long as you are gone, you do not need to sell first. No one wants to take pesenan, right? In addition, you will not be able to cook if there is no Mas. No one's got Dre. We'll sell again after Mas comes home?"

"Yes," I nodded.

***

Mas Yandri departed before Dhuhur. The trip this time will be quite exhausting. The distance between the Yellow Lancang Earth to the Metropolitan city could spend two days and two nights on the road.

***

***

My money is only five thousand dollars. The stock of food and spices in the refrigerator was exhausted including raw chicken for sale. I was fasting with the intention of saving food. Ms. Indah has offered me many times to take what I need first. I agree with the record if I really need.

The rain again fell from the morning. Dre got up and whined for food. Given my money of only five thousand, I intend to buy two eggs for Dre to eat now and for later tonight.

I explained to Dre that I had to go to the stall for a while to buy eggs. My son nodded and ordered that I not be out for too long.

Under the heavy rain, the umbrella I was wearing seemed to not work. My shirt was still wet and when I got to the front of the stall, I was stunned. Warung Bu Indah closed and the headlights turned on, a sign if he was not at home. I was desperate to go to another shop. But Dre's memory alone made my way back home. Other shops are also far away.

I gave Dre some snacks and biscuits left to hold back the hunger. I had absolutely nothing I could turn into food for him.

***

The rain had subsided and some children were out of the house to play. From the window of my house it is seen that they are swarming with a baso salesman. My son who saw it pulled my shirt and pointed towards the seller.

I swear, I'd really like to buy my son a baso. I was almost reckless and wanted to grab a bowl immediately. But I ponder, because if I'm reckless, that baso will run out for one meal. I intend to buy eggs because they can be used for two meals. I can't think of anything hearing Dre's whining. There are different ways I try to distract him. Until finally I carried him and I took him to the kitchen to stay away from the window.

"Ship Mama," Dre's words made me even sadder."

"Mama was going to Mom's shop, but it was closed, so she didn't buy any eggs. Do you want to eat rice and chicken?" I said with a choked voice.

My son nodded. Immediately I sat him on the carpet and took the rice in a dish and the chicken seasoning.

Dre sparkled at me who was carrying the dishes and also the chicken seasoning. When he was ready, he started eating. My defense fell, I cried.

Do you know what chicken is? Roycos. Yeah, I gave Royco that was sprinkled on rice. I never thought it would be at this point. I feel like I failed as a parent. I felt useless for not being able to provide a decent meal for my son.

However, I suddenly remembered the fate of the children living on the streets. The rice and Royco that Dre ate was still a lot better because I had seen the children eat leftovers several times.

I took a deep breath. Even downstairs, I still compare myself to others. I still feel that I am the one who suffers the most, the most miserable, the most sad. In fact, many are further below me.

"Astagfirullah..," I said lirih.

My eyes looked at Dre who was smiling happily. "Don't you, rice is the same as chicken?"

Dre brandished his index finger a sign that the food he ate was delicious.

I stroked his head gently.

"Eat a lot of kiddo, eat voraciously. Grow big, grow healthy. Sorry Mama yes, can only feed this Dre..," I said in tears.