Ghost School

Life of Izumi: Desperate

"Huh! My hands are hurting. Let's go now" Maeru said and walked away, followed by Kirian, Rio and Rusen.

I with my nose covered with blood and bruises everywhere was left alone after they were content to hit me.

*

The next day at school, everyone looked straight at me.

"Hey, hey. That's it, right?"

"Yes. Wow, really not expecting"

"Isn't he the first rank? It turns out that no more than cruel people"

They kept whispering as I walked.

It's not the first time I've felt this, and I'm used to not doing what they say.

While walking, I accidentally cross paths with Mawari and his two friends who yesterday.

"That's it!!" Shouted Mawari's friend

"Can you hit Mawari after he turned you down?" Yells

I flinched a little then glanced towards Mawari. The cheek that Maeru slapped yesterday was a bit swollen.

When our eyes met, he turned his gaze away from me with a frightened face.

"Look!! Marari was so scared to see you!!"

One of his friends walked straight towards me and grabbed me by the collar.

"What did you do to him?! Say it!!"

I stared hard at the woman and she immediately retreated to avoid me.

"It turns out you really hit him..."

Plaque!

His friend slapped me.

"This is your reply to slap Mawari!!"

Let's go, Mawari. Don't look at him again.

"...."

I just kept quiet and did not fight back.

"It's okay. Even if I explain, there is absolutely no point. I'm in the wrong position, it's better to just keep quiet so that the problem doesn't get bigger" I thought

People's views of me got worse after that, and bullying became more frequent, especially at home.

At dinner, Kirian, Rio, and Rusen return to the action.

In the middle of our meal, Rusen suddenly doused my food with orange juice.

"Aah~ Sorry, my hands are slippery"

"...."

I just kept quiet even though I knew it was intentional.

"Hey, why stop eating? Continue to eat" Kirian said

"I... Go back to kam--"

"Don't hurry" Rio said and directly held my shoulder to remain seated on the chair.

"You're so spoiled. Do I have to feed you first you want to eat?" Kirian asked while taking over the spoon I had used.

I could already guess what would happen next.

Kirian immediately bribed me with the food roughly.

"Every meal you keep leaving food. It must be fed up to be finished"

"Mmmm!"

"Come on the food. Don't fight!"

Kirian kept stuffing the food into my mouth until I choked a few times.

I glanced at Akihito and Akane who were eating with us, hoping that he could call Mr. Hazuki here as soon as they saw their brother tormenting me.

But the truth is not. The two of them ate quietly as if there was nothing in front of them.

I flinched for a moment, then my awareness of myself became stronger.

"What am I doing? Do I have the right to expect help from others? My parents just abandoned me, let alone those who have no blood relationship with me" I thought

"Reserve yourself, Izumi. In this world, you're nothing more than trash nobody expected"

I was pensive for a while in a sitting position on the floor, then Rio pulled my collar until I stood up.

"Don't expect you to get away with it after everything you've done. It's still not how much Maeru feels you've ruined!" Yells

"Absolutely... What you're doing is not destroying my body and soul?" I think flat

I did nothing and let them do anything without a fight.

The three of them dragged me and locked me in a dark barn to make my nyctophobia go back.

As soon as the door was locked, I thought back to when I was locked up in the Foren residence earlier.

My body instantly trembled violently, but strangely I did not feel any feeling.

Ever since mom got sick, I no longer smiled, but my feelings were still alive. I can still feel pain, sadness, joy, and more like before.

But this time it's different. I can't feel anything. I can't tell you what it's like to be happy, sad, angry, sick, or whatever it is right now.

I look like a living doll, or a soulless undead.

Desperation again struck me as if I had no soul and no purpose in life.

"What else am I living for? There is absolutely no point if my whole life is filled with torture. Better to die now"

I stood up and ransacked the warehouse. I finally found a cutter that was half rusted.

"I won't hesitate this time"

Trek... Trek... Trek...

I pulled out the knife to the end and pointed it at my neck.

Zrrrtt

I remember my mother at times like this.

"I don't care! I don't care about you!!"

"Mama, you're a big liar!!"

"You said I was the one you loved the most, but you ended up throwing me away! What distinguishes you from your grandfather and papa?! You are the cruelest! You were so nice that I depended on you, and then you just threw me away!!"

"I'm suffering now, and you know nothing of your own son! Even you forgot your own son just because the br*hsek man is dead!!"

"I did it to protect you too! If that br*secret isn't dead, you're dead, you idiot!! What good is that irresponsible br*ngsek?!"

"By reason of mental illness you ran away from this world! Then I can do it too!! But I tried hard to stay conscious. Who do you think I'm trying to do this for?!"

"Only for the sake of you not even recognizing me, I endure holding all this up!!!"

I pulled my hand and prepared to stick the cutter into my neck.

But my hand felt too heavy to stick it to my neck.

"Even now..."

Tests... Tests...

"I cannot end my life here... For your sake..."

Without me noticing my tears were flowing again and my hands felt heavy to stab me in the neck, but it was very light when I cut it before thinking about my mother.

Mom saved me 2 times in a suicide attempt.

I rubbed my cheeks wet with tears and looked at my hands.

"What did I do?"

"I just insulted my mom. It turns out that I am a granddaughter of my grandfather and son. I'm just like those who don't appreciate mama"

"I'm totally useless..."

I immediately put on a cold face.

"I have to survive! I wouldn't survive if I lived for myself, so I had to live for my mom. I will fight until my mother recognizes me!"

Before, when I was in pain I would cry alone. But since then, I have not cried anymore like my tears have frozen to ice.

Because of the many traumas that I experienced at the age of 12 years, finally it makes me feel dead and no longer care about my own body how, the important thing is that I stay alive.

*

The next morning Rio along with Rusen opened the warehouse door.

I just sat in the corner of the room hugging my knees with a cutter with blood on my side.

I glanced flatly at the two of them.

"Hey, hurry up and get ready for breakfast!" Said Rio in a high voice

I stood up sluggishly and walked out.

After I got out, I walked to my room.

As soon as I walked in, my room was a mess filled with trash everywhere, the mattress spray was tangled and torn, the cotton from the pillow was scattered, and the light ball was broken.

I'm not surprised to see that, because they're used to bother me. To destroy my room, it's not that hard for them.

I walked into the room, and cleaned up all the trash.

I took a big bag and put all that junk in it. But the contents of the drink cans and snack wrap were spilled and scattered on the carpet and mattress.

"How do I clean this up..." Mumbles

Shortly after, the door of my room was knocked and opened by someone.

That person is Lord Hazuki.

As soon as he saw my room, he was immediately shocked.

Seeing her father in front of my room, Kirian, Rio and Rusen approached Mr. Hazuki.

"Papa, what are you doing here?" Ask Rusen

Rusen glanced into my room following Mr. Hazuki's gaze.

"Well, it's a mess. Everything is broken" Rusen continued

"It's worth my snacks are very quick to end. It turned out that he took it" Rio muttered

"I didn't see him all night. It turned out that he was secretly partying alone" muttered Kirian

Mr. Hazuki also walked over and stood in front of me while looking at me with a sharp look.

"Izumi what are you doing?" Ask Mr. Hazuki

"…"

I just kept quiet and did not respond to Mr. Hazuki's question.

"Workers in this house are busy with their respective work. So maybe you can't clean up your room immediately."

"…Sorry.." I muttered.

I don't understand why I should apologize for a mistake I didn't even make. I apologized like it made me look like I actually did it.

But I have to say it.

Mr. Hazuki certainly believes more in his children than I do. Plus Mr. Hazuki was so busy with his work that he didn't know that his children hurt me all this time.

Mr. Hazuki let out a long sigh and then turned around to walk out of the room.

"It is only fitting that Mr. Foren will not take care of it" muttered Mr. Hazuki

"Come on everyone, let's go downstairs for breakfast"

Kirian, Rio and Rusen smiled meaningfully while looking at me, then they walked over while embracing my neck.

"Come Izumi, we go with~" Shouted the excited Rusen

Then Rusen brought her mouth to my ear.

"It's still nothing. Look at it later" Whisper Rusen

I just kept quiet and didn't respond to it.

"Why shut up, Izumi?" Rusen asked softly, but her eyes looked at me sharply as if to kill me.

"I... Yep... Come... Go along..." I muttered with a forced smile