Final Letter

ST 9

That night I tidied up all the necessities that I would bring to the dormitory later, book clothes and other items. When I finished I went to see my mother to talk about something.

"Mommy's not asleep?" I asked who saw mom still checking a report in her cash book.

My mother turned to me, with a flat face as usual.

"Hmmh" he said briefly

"Mom, you want to say something"

Mom started to seriously look at me.

"Sit down!" said my mother

I clasped my mother's hand when I was sitting next to her, I kissed the hand that had been taking care of me, wanting to hate that mother had separated my father and mother, but I had no right to do that.

"Mom, thank you for taking care of me all this time, forgive Inca who always bothers mom and also makes mom angry. From now on I will study independently without bothering you again" I said staring at the expressionless face of my mother.

"Mom, I already know that I'm not your biological child, I understand why you're being indifferent to me, even less likely to care,but I'm sure in my heart my mother's innermost love for me"

Mother still quietly did not respond to my words, well the most important thing is that I have conveyed what I want to say. I hope that after I leave the family life of the father will be more harmonious, because the duration is no longer there.

"Once again I'm sorry, ma'am, I promise from this moment onwards it won't bother you anymore, may your life be happier when I'm not around,send greetings to omah and opah sorry I have become a thorn for the life of a father who is so opa proud" said I who could not hold back her tears

Mother still remains in her position. He was silent without words and expression.

"Oh yes, ma'am, said my teacher tomorrow I'm starting to be able to come to the dorm, so I decided to leave tomorrow morning. I wanted to say goodbye to my father and the others, but I didn't want to burden them with my departure, which was important that mom had allowed. And this is Ma'am's education that I gave her as well as her savings book, say the same father thank you for being a responsible father" said I who can no longer hold back my tears.

I left my mother still expressionless, she seemed to be very happy when I decided to leave. Before leaving, I hugged my mother and kissed her forehead, it won't avenge the 13 years she took care of me but at least I love her very much. I locked my door and cried there.

***

MOTHERS

Like there was something strange when the Inca asked me to talk, from the look on his face it seemed like what he wanted to talk about was a very serious thing, I let him sit down and soon he opened his voice.

The word for word that came out of her mouth did not change my expression, but my heart seemed intangible to hear the apology and farewell from the poor girl, my heart honestly screamed,have I been evil all this time, I do not wholeheartedly love him, even I tend not to admit it.

I seemed to be condemning my foolish decision to give the Inca approval to take a scholarship and stay in the dorm, I was evil, I wanted to throw it out of this house. The existence of the Inca makes me remember the woman who.e became the only woman who was loved by Erwin, yes I have the body of my husband but his heart I do not know.

I think Erwin mas not fully love me because in this house there is still a figure that is very similar to the previous woman, I believe after going inka mas Erwin will fully love me,why am I so helpless now. I know that girl suffered a lot all this time.

I went to my room and cried over everything I did, would Erwin agree to this, or would he be angry at the one-sided decision I made? I don't know if I'm stuck with the decision I made.

***

"Please open the gate" I said

"Non, where are you going at dawn?"

"It's not dawn yet sir, I want to go to the dorm but before that I want to go to my best friend Westi sir, because I say goodbye"

"Why not tomorrow morning non, why is not the mother angry later?" said my house security guard who was still in doubt

"Mother already knows sir, if tomorrow morning I'm afraid Maudy and Dhika won't allow it, you know for yourself that they can't be far from me"

The security guard seemed to think since and finally let me out of the house, and it turned out that my neighbor was waiting.

"Non, be careful"

"Yes sir, there's no need to be afraid that you won't scold you"

**

Outside Bu Ijah's gate and her husband is waiting for me.

"Hayu neng geulis, will you leave now?" ask Bu Ijah to me

I nodded and walked towards him.

"Mom,pak. Sorry I'm troubling you guys."

"It's okay neng, some of us are used to going this early and we're in the same direction"

They also boarded a losbak car to bring vegetables from the market, I sat on the side of the car door while Bu Ijah sat in the middle.

"Neng, does Eneng's father know that he will stay in the dormitory?" tanya Bu Ijah curious

I'm shaking.

"No, ma'am, but mom already allowed me to take the scholarship and stay in the dormitory, that was more than enough to ask for a blessing."

"Haduhhhhhhh mother did not think why Miss Maya could not care about the same child as beautiful and as good as you. Hopefully you can achieve all your goals yes neng, making Bu Maya and Mr. Erwin proud" said Bu Ijah who felt compassion for my life

I smiled at the words coming out of Bu Ijah's lips.

"Thank you for your prayers Mom, hopefully after I'm gone your life will be happier, I don't want to be a thorn in the flesh."

Ms. Ijah hugged me tightly as if channeling strength to strengthen me and it warmed me up. Without feeling now I've been at the gate of the House of Hesti just as the dawn of dawn reverberate, before descending I thank the couple. Inside, hesti was waiting for my arrival