Design: A Buana

Eps 12's

Along the way, Mas Raksa kept clasping my fingers. I'm happy, but I feel guilty too. I can't hide my faint smile. My head bowed, for fear that Mas Raksa caught me again smiling.

Finally we arrived at the spacious tea garden and pampered the eyes. Mas Raksa finally took his grip off my hand. I breathe in the fresh air in this place. My smile is growing. I think today is the best day I have.

The gusts of wind continued to wipe us both, this was a fresh breeze without any pollution. Raksa smiled at me.

"Where?"

"Beautiful."

"This is why I brought you here. Not only is this tea garden beautiful, but there is something more beautiful than that."

The one who looked at his face, could only ask. "What?"

Raksa shook his shoulder. Then he walked over and sat on a fairly large rock. Questioningly, I would not want to follow him.

We both sat on the stone, "gold, why are you so cold now? I was wrong?"

"You think, if you've got me wrong, maybe I'll take you to this place?"

I thought for a moment, didn't I, what happened to her attitude?

"Keep why?"

"I'm just ashamed of myself."

Honestly, I'm this stupid. Still don't understand what he means. I show you the look of the face needs more explanation.

"I feel like I'm a rival, even though I haven't tried one thing myself." I want to smash my slow head against the rock.

"When I didn't dare to be honest, afraid he was uncomfortable and chose to leave. But I'm afraid of losing him."

I shuffled my hair in frustration, then grimaced. "Is there anyone who deletins Caeera's mother?"

Mas Raksa smiled then shook his head, "you don't need to know and if you don't know, don't try to find out.”

The Dih? Then why tell me that? Mas Raksa content always says I don't need to know when I ask deeper into the problem. Even if I wasn't important, why would he tell me everything?

"I prefer tempeh. Satisfied?"

He laughed as he ruffled my hair, "hahaha. What if I'm cold?"

Finally the laugh came up again, shaking his hand to my hair he did again. Even though my hair is messy, but I'm happy. I can feel and see it again.

"No papa, it's weird if you suddenly cut me off." Honestly, I feel that. It felt strange and I was a little bit confused by the temptation, the smile, and the rubbing of his hands.

He glanced, "you miss me, huh? Feeling something is missing?" Ledek.

I smiled shyly, "lo crazy pede." He just laughed crisply.

We were back to enjoy the beautiful scenery in front, some people were picking tea in this garden. Long enough we were silent, silence enveloped.

"You didn't ask me yesterday why I didn't drive in place of Humeera?"

Oh, that time. All I remember is Mas Raksa did not answer anything, and he still has no intention to talk to me.

"If you don't want a story, don't papa, Mas. I don't make it."

"There's actually a pretty strong reason, maybe just as much as you're afraid of the dark. The trauma."

I just nodded, listening to her words. Tumben so open gini.

"My mother died in a car accident." I'm pensive, the message yesterday he immediately silent not answer my words. It turns out I hurt her heart.

"Not only that, my Father and Sister are also going through the same thing." My chest is tight, is it because of this Mas Raksa cold to me?

I put my hands together, "sorry, Mom. Aeera didn't mean it, anyway. Absolutely."

He laughed lightly and embraced my body, as I stared. Flowers grow on my stomach. Not to forget, my heart was beating very fast, more than usual.

"You're not wrong. I just want to tell a story. Trying to open up to you."

“Thank you for listening to my story, Aeera.”

...🐣...

Mas Raksa opened the gates of Villa, after we entered and then he closed again. We decided to come back here, because it was late afternoon and the sky started to cloud. When he arrived at the main door, Ms. Caeera had greeted Mas Raksa.

"Russia!" He shouted while walking towards us.

After that he pulled Mas Raksa's hand, "here come with me."

Samar I heard him say, "asik you've made progress," and then it's gone. They're headed for the back garden.

Just happy, too, again.

I chose to sit in the living room, in the wooden chair that yesterday Mas Raksa had treated my minor injuries, albeit violently. Ah I remember, starting from there her attitude was cold. When I asked him why he didn't drive, he was silent. But then he came back to talk to me.

Is it because he didn't sincerely treat my wounds, he got cold, huh? I've been troubling him.

"Diem aja, the demit of your tea garden?" Asked Mas Damar who had just come while carrying warm tea, he sat down next to me.

"Eh, Mum. Where's Auntie going?"

"That's in the kitchen, clean up tomorrow."

I just nodded, Mas Damar sipped his tea. "You?"

I'm shaking.

"After being invited to board the plane, you are now forcibly demoted to a wooden boat, huh?"

I frowned, I mean Mas Damar, having been invited to have fun now I was forced to grieve? By Mister Raksa?

From this morning Mas Damar was like insinuating me constantly, did he know my feelings were starting to grow? He will think no-no. I don't want this either.

"Mas Damar is very heavy" I said with a faint smile.

Mas Damar looked me in the eye, "you can't lie, Dek."

I blinked, my eyes looked disappointed, didn't they?

I'm trying to laugh, "this? My eye? Sleepy eyes, Mas. Earlier the wind was very tight, so it became an atmosphere. Haha."

The reaction of Mas Damar? He didn't smile at all, his face was flat while staring at my face.

"You actually know who Raksa is?"

So confused, I knitted my eyebrows. "Huh? Raksa is not human?"

"Aeera, Mas Damar is serious!"

I was silent, thinking. Who is Mas Raksa?

"Mas Raksa, yes, Mas Raksa. Who is he?" My answer was to ask again.

Mas Damar who was initially dumbfounded, after that reviewed the smile, "hahaha. I went to the back garden, yes" he said, shuffling my hair.

Before successfully asking for further explanation, he had already walked over while carrying his warm tea.

I sat in silence, thinking about what Mas Damar said. About Mas Raksa, who is he? Where I know, he's never open.

...🐣...

The night came back, now it was ten in less than three minutes. We spent time together in the television room, outside of the heavy rain, so we chose to cook instant noodles and eat together. It feels very happy, hopefully moments like this happen often.

We had gathered in each other's rooms, except for Mas Damar. I don't know where he went once. I lay on the bed staring at the white ceiling. I want to play mobile but no one is chatting. While Mas Raksa and Mbak Caeera were sitting on the floor between our beds, Mas Raksa was playing guitar and Mbak Caeera was singing.

Honestly, I really like to see Mas Raksa strumming guitar strings. It's like I saw Mas Buana inside him. But for now I'm reluctant to join, afraid to disturb them. I lay down while feeling my chest a little tight, trying not to know and not to hear their passages and songs.

Mas Damar opened the door, "play truth or dare, kuy!" Take her while showing her the ketchup bottle she was holding.

Mbak Caeera and Mas Raksa stopped their activities, "lo crazy, Mar. Whose ketchup bottles are you spilling?"

Mas Damar smiled shyly, "so in the kitchen. I threw it in the bowl."

We all laughed. Damar is an adult but his behavior is ridiculous.

"Haha. Find it because of you." Caeera said again.

Mas Damar chose to come sit on the floor, "deh ayok, rather than bosen, right?"

"Here deck, down!" Mas Damar's orders while, waving his hand.

Inevitably I got off, sitting between Mas Damar and Mbak Caeera.

"It's my daughter, yeah. The same designated ketchup bottle he chose truth or dare." Evidently. I just looked up and folded my legs.

"Can't base engage." Caeera said, Mas Damar laughed.

"Bacot mouth lo. Haha."

Mas Damar started turning the bottle that had been lying on the floor. The first round leads to itself. All of us laughed, except Mas Raksa just smiled briefly.

"Here, I'm the one who asked me to. Shucks."

"Campus, choose what?"

"The secret of the artist is very expensive. So I chose dare."

Ma'am Caeera smiled suspiciously, "outside hape lo. Open instagram."

"Well, don't dong."

"Snap, ish!" Caeera's brother took Mas Damar's cell phone.

Me and Mas Raksa just watched.

"Ae, here." I'm closing in on Sister Caeera.

"Lo boomerang here, let Damar's chick be jealous." Further.

I smiled jailly towards Mas Damar, he was a little panicked but resigned.

After doing a boomerang, Mbak Caeera wrote down the woman bertanteeek on the insta story.

Mas Damar's phone was returned, and I and Ms. Caeera are high five laughing.

"Nyesel I'm playing ginian." He said as he turned the bottle back.

The bottle's head was pointed at Mas Raksa.

"Truth." He immediately chose.

"Hmm." Mumba Caeera muttered while thinking.

"Who wants to ask?" Ask Mas Damar.

Actually, I'd like to ask, "who exactly?" But I paused, for fear of being impressed by kepo.

"Gue aja deh, you both late." Mas Damar said, it seems that today he is very excited.

"No marriage intention?" Deg, who was asked by Mas Raksa, who was with me.

Ma'am Caeera laughed briefly, "there's crazy too lo, Mar. The most interesting question, asu."

I smiled stiffly. Confused what he wanted to react. We looked towards Mas Raksa who had not answered.

I saw him come back to see me, "it's not time yet." Say him short.

"Udahlah, Rak. Lupain aja, many girls who deketin you crazy. Don't play with her feelings." I am confused by what Mas Damar said, meaning that Mas Raksa played with the feelings of Mbak Caeera?

"Gue doesn't play anyone's heart."

"Lo's mouth, Mar." Tegur Mbak Caeera's. Yes surely he does not accept that his partner is said to play with his own heart.

"You mean, Mas Raksa played the heart of Mbak Caeera?" My question made the three of them look at each other.

"Udah lupain, now I'm the princess." Caeera Mbak. This is why it's like I don't know anything here. What adult secrets are this complicated?

The bottle turned back, and the bottle's head stopped right at me.

"Asik, take Aeera." Mumbled Mas Damar while smiling jail.

It's terrible, if I choose truth later he asked about Mas Buana, and I refused to answer. If I choose Dare, the challenge must be a strange thing.

"Dare aja, the artist's secret." My words follow Mas Damar's tone earlier.

Mas Damar screeched.

"Emm what is it?" Think Caeera Ma'am.

Mas Damar got the idea, "call the full names of the three of us. If you lose you sleep outside."

My eyes widen, sleeping outside?

"Well, I can't do that. Sleep outside?" Bela Mas Raksa, this time I agree with him.

"Haha. Kidding, Shelf. Yeah, well, I slept outside." Ma'am Caeera said, I'm a little unwell.

"But there can be no punishment." Said Mas Damar.

I thought for a moment, if the name of Madam Caeera was out of her head. The name Mas Damar is also easy. Well, whose name is Mas Raksa. Geez, gini game makes you dizzy.

"Caeera Nayana Barsha." I said while pointing at Madam Caeera.

"Juan Wijaya's room." Continue with me while pointing at Mas Damar.

"Widihh you want it too." Cengir Mas Damar's.

Mas Raksa looked at me without blinking, I started to panic. His full name is Mas Raksa, in WhatsApp his name is Raksa AB. But instead I made the Banget Weird Raksa.

"Mas, Raksa AB." Saying how much.

As they laughed, this time I saw Mas Raksa laughing. I also laughed at my own stupidity.

"Haha. Yes AB, it stands for what?" Ask Ma'am Caeera.

I shook my head, "I don't know, I'll give it up."

Mas Damar smiled jailly at me, "asik ngerjain Aeera."

"Punished what about." Think Caeera Ma'am.

I see Mas Raksa still reviewing smiles, I lament fate. How many times have I looked stupid in front of Mas Raksa, surely he's getting more ilfeel.

"What's your name?" The question came out of my mouth. Everyone was looking at me.

"Raksa Agler Buana" he replied. I'm sculpting.

B, Buana? Buana Mas? Is Raksa Mas Buana? So this afternoon did Mas Damar mean about this? Who exactly is Mas Raksa? So he's Mas Buana, the guy I've been missing all this time?

I don't think, how can I not recognize Mas Buana? From physical to physical, everything changes. I don't know the old Mas Buana in him now. Oh, naw. I saw Mas Buana in Mas Raksa as he played guitar.

I'm happy to know he's okay. I am thankful that he seems happy now. But, I must keep my promise, I will forget him slowly when he has found a new happiness. My own mother.

I woke up from daydreaming, when Mas Damar's finger flick was in front of my face. "Oi, why the hell?"

"Well, no papa, Mom. How's it?" I answered nervously, I saw Mas Rak—Mas Buana, he also looked at me. His expression was flat, not smiling like before.

"Push up, 20 times." Advice Sister Caeera.

"Well, it's tired, Mother."

"Don't, night sports aren't good." Said Mas Raksa. Honestly, I'm not used to calling him Mas Buana. Now I'm awkward, even though I've been looking for and missing him all this time.

I feel like I'm crying now, why isn't he honest? Am I that easy to fool? Hixes.

With all my might I tried to hold back my tears from falling.

Geck... Geck... There was a knock on the door from outside our room.

"You sleep, don't stay up. Tomorrow until night!" The voice of Mama appealed to us. I am thankful I was not punished.

And grateful to be able to immediately mourn the fate of facing an empty wall, like my heart.

"Yes, Mah." Answer Ma'am Caeera. I couldn't answer in a loud voice, afraid that my tears might suddenly drop. I only answered in my heart.

I looked back at Mas Raksa, I still can't believe it. He was camouflaged a long way. Great, until I don't recognize him. And of course he played me.

I put on a wry smile. His eyes also looked towards me, but again his expression was flat. In fact, it was as if his eyes reflected worry.

"Yaudah, you're safe this time, Dek." Said Mas Damar who managed to make me see him for a moment.

I smiled briefly, he rubbed my back gently while nodding.

What is the meaning of it all, Mom? He thinks he's weird.

"Udah, go back to each other's mattresses. Go to sleep, don't think about it." Ma'am Caeera continued, he immediately headed to his bed as well as the others.

I climbed up the stairs, choosing to lie directly against the wall.

My tears finally escaped.

Though I hope to meet Mas Buana with a sense of flowering. But why am I disappointed? My chest is very tight, more claustrophobic when I see him with the source of his current happiness.

I sobbed, rubbing my tears several times that fell on my cheeks. Given Mas Damar's remark, that he knew who Mas Raksa was. I'm the only one stupid.

Remembering Mas Raksa's words while in the car, he also has a little friend. But, he was reluctant to tell her what it was like at this moment. I realized that my love was unrequited.

Lord, I am thankful that You have granted my every prayer. He is healthy and happy. You have taken care of him. I will keep my promise, forget her slowly. I'm sincere.

Her laugh, her hand, and the rubbing on my hair. Everything feels mortal. I'm happy to feel that way again, even though I don't know who he really is.

I remembered her cynical smile this morning on the way to the tea garden, remember what she said, "your past? It just makes you comfortable, nothing more."

I closed my eyes. Tears are getting louder, chests are getting tighter, and my nose is getting clogged.

This pain, this deep heartache, hurts more when I lose him.

Shown by his togetherness with Mbak Caeera, his excitement, his laughter, and their familiarity.

I cried with a smile, the smile that should have come out at the moment. Not this terrible cry.

I'm terrible at losing to my ego.

...🐣...