Brother-in-law Looked at my Aurat

Difficult Move On

Brother Zian's heavy body hit my body. There's no distance. Makes me feel disgusted.

"Sorry, Fai. Sorry ...." Look at the voice of Brother Zian. Brother Zian distanced his face, raising his two arms, for his body to move away from me.

Without me realizing there was a mother-in-law and grandmother standing not far from the sofa. He must have come out of his room because he heard me screaming. 

"Sorry, let's get up, Fai ...." Brother Zian is still kindly extending his hand so that I can wake up. Her cheeks are red from my slap. That must have been very painful.

Naya was stunned to see me fall with Brother Zian. Mama leads Papa whose path is limping because of a fall. Brother Zian is considerate, he's also leading my Papa to the chair.

I cried and ran to the stairs. Enter rooms. Wrapping the body with a thick blanket. Mas Raka's face .. continues to linger in the eye.

❤❤❤

The morning was so empty, the warm bright sun entered the window of the room. Inversely proportional to the cold and dense cloudy atmosphere in my body soul.

I miss Mas Raka.

The most painful longing is the longing for people who are not in this world. A longing that will never be treated again .. because it will never be able to meet for a second.

"Sir, come on move on. Don't feel like the most unfortunate woman because Mas Raka is dead. A lot out there, even the test could be tougher than Mbak. Her husband died while her wife was pregnant, for example. His son will be an orphan. It's so bad."

Naya tried to cheer me up.

"Mas ... said we want the first night? But Mas lied, Mas left, Mas left me." I took a picture of my wedding to Mas Raka. Tears fell on the glass. Then I clutched the frame with a hollow feeling.

“So Mbak hasn't been the first night with Mas Raka? Geez, so sad ...” Her eyes glazed over.

My laughter is breaking, the strange laughter symbolizes emptiness.

“Mas, can't live anymore? I don't want to be so far apart.”

I laughed, accompanying the tears that escaped to my cheeks. Laughter in tears, only this time I felt it in my life. 

"Mbak, Ma'am .. ouch! I don't want to have a CCS Ma'am aka Beautiful Stress! Realize, is ... Maud. Don't laugh on.”

I ignored Naya's babble. 

"Mr. Papa's knee was injured and had to be taken to the doctor. Where is Papa uric acid, last night was chasing Mbak. Don't bother anymore, Ma'am. Mbak also slapped Brother Zian many times. Fortunately Mbak's brother-in-law was patient, kind and handsome. I'm jealous that Mommy fell on the couch with Brother Zian, so much more."

What the hell, Naya? Another person grieved, he even remembered the incident last night. I was disgusted when Brother Zian's body stuck to my body. Genderuwo.

Naya pulled out a spoonful of chicken porridge on me. "Eat, Ma'am. Although spoonful. In order for Mas Raka to calm down, if Mbak tortures himself, the spirit of Mas Raka will also not calm down.”

My stomach is already rumbling, I eat also the porridge given by Naya. Just spoonful. After that, I shook my head as Naya returned to bribe me.

I looked again at the photo of Mas Raka smiling at me. I laughed as if, Mas Raka was joking at me.

"My sister is this? Hopefully the stress is not long. Eman beautiful,” muttered Naya while wiping tears then hugged me. "The mother must be strong ...."

❤❤❤

Mama and Papa until the seventh day of the departure Mas Raka still continues to accompany me who is exactly a crazy person. Talking alone, laughing alone. Lazy eating, lazy bathing.

Seven days later, the family held a study attended by relatives and neighbors around.

I didn't get out of the room. Snuggled in bed, hugging wedding photos. No shower, no matter my body starts to itch.

"Bak stinks. Seven days without a shower. Slovenly!" Naya closed her nose. 

"Mas Raka! Mas Rakaaaa!" I mentioned the name Mas Raka without feeling tired and bored.

Want me to hug Mas Raka, want me to listen to her heartbeat, and want to hear her say love words to me.

"Mbak, maybe Mas Raka wants Mbak sincere. So, continue to shadow Ma'am. Try it, Ma'am shower, take wudu and teach. Pilgrimage to Mas Raka's tomb. Surely Mas Raka will be calm there," suggested Naya. 

I can't stand to see Mas Raka's grave. For seven days, spend time crying, sometimes staring all day, then laughing. That's just my activity.

Grandma entered this room a few times. The old woman looked at me pity. 

"Sir, accept the decree of Allah. Everything is arranged. It must be the best.” That's what he said. I didn't answer anything. Wise words don't seem to apply to me. 

I still find it hard to accept this harsh reality. Why did I lose my husband, why?

❤❤❤

I'm tired, no sleep at night. Papa gently stroked my hair. Begging me to rest.

The night is late. Eyes started to weigh, I fell asleep, for a moment. Then awaken. Papa, Mama, and Naya slowly walked out of the room.

I quietly went downstairs, stopped in the middle of the stairs, eavesdropping on their conversation with Mas Raka's family.

"Hm, i-iya, Zian doesn't matter either. Zian is ready ...." Brother Zian replied.

Ck! Ready for what, anyway?

I cursed in my heart.

"Yes, he said Fai and Raka had not had the first night. So, there's no iddah time for Faizara." Papa agrees too. Surely Naya told me that Mas Raka and I haven't had the first night.

Do they want me and Brother Zian to get married soon. Nope, no! My head shook strongly, my heart beat pounding.

"Just rush their wedding, Pa. In order for Mbak Fai's grief to be treated immediately, I am sad to see Mbak Fai like a mad person," said Naya.

I clenched my upper teeth down. Basic Naya! Little boy snobs support! 

This danger? Do they think I would be happy if I married Brother Zian? I'm still grieving, they're talking about marriage. Too!

My mind is getting mummified. Looking for a way to avoid a marriage between me and Brother Zian. Amit-amit I have a husband like him!

What if I go on crazy? That crazy idea just came to pass. They think I'm stressed again. So, I'm gonna show you that I'm really crazy.

Brother Zian will see me, and will definitely not marry me.

❤❤❤

Hot day, with clothes that have been eight days do not want to be replaced and hair that is disheveled. Without any slippers, I walked out of the room.

“Mas Raka, let's take a walk. Hihihi .. wait for me, dear.”

“Mbak, where are you going?” naya asked, she just finished taking a shower. She remained faithful to accompany me, Mama and Papa have come home to rest.

With a quick step I went down the stairs.

“Mas Raka, let's take a walk, Mas!”

Cuek I'm talking alone. Brother Zian and Aris were in the living room accompanying some of the mourners who were still coming. Both from employees, friends, business partners and no one else.

"Pursue, Brother Zian, let's go after it!" shout Naya. 

“Fai, don't go anywhere. Come, log in!” Brother Zian suddenly chased after me who started running towards the courtyard. Then run to the road.

I laughed on the paved road. The heat and pain of my feet as much as I can bear.

Naya, and Aris are in pursuit. 

“Fai, be careful!” Brother Zian almost stepped in my footsteps. He panicked because I crossed recklessly.

Not losing my mind, I turned to densely populated housing. Until finally ....

"Crazy people, crazy people ...." The little boys yell at me.

I'd rather be labeled crazy, than be married to Brother Zian.

"Hahahaha .. I'm crazy! I'm crazy!” I chased the little boys who were yelling at me. They ran away, some were crying and fell.

Apesnya, their mothers out of their homes.

“Huuus, huuus, there is a madman!” they kicked me out. Someone's got a club. I was afraid they would beat me.

“He's not a madman! Get away from you!” bela Kak Zian's.

I went into the yard where there were some cows eating grass. 

“Fai, wait! There is a river and a dead end! You will fall!” yell Brother Zian. I don't care, running near the cows sitting down.

One cow rang, suddenly stood up and its horns almost hit me. 

“Fai .. watch out!”

Bugs! Bugs! Bugs! 

The sound of the stomach of Brother Zian who was attacked by the bull. He bounced and fell sitting while grimacing holding his stomach.

Rasayn! I'm laughing.

Damn, when I turned around, my feet stepped on cow dung. I swore, not so fast with the smell of cow dung. So asem!

Breaths grumpy. Apparently, it's not good to be crazy. Dingy. 

Seriate