Behind the Grey Cloud

41 Zen Pain (2)

We were silent for quite a while. Being in each other's minds and shadows.

I tried to rearrange my raging heart.

There was a sense of relief after I said this all to Zen.

I hope Zen can understand and get back to health.

"May, I'm sorry. I have taken away your rights as a child. I have enjoyed the affection of a mother you have long missed." said Zen after we were silent for a long time.

"This is beyond our will. Nobody wants all this to happen. But I hope that someday you will still accept me as the person in your heart. As your soul mate. Your lover. I really expect too much from you May, because it's just you my spirit. Ever since you were, I have been passionate about learning. Because of you I can learn about the meaning of life, and without you I'm empty." Zen continued his words . I just kept quiet hearing it.

"May, let me continue to love you. Let me nurture this affection. And allow me to always take care of you."

Now Zen's hand is grabbing my hand.

I didn't feel a tear fall down my cheek.

"Zen, I know it's hard. But if later we are not together in love, I still want to be your friend. I will be there for you as a friend. There are many girls out there who are better than me. Who loves you so much and is vying to get you." I replied as I let go of Zen's hand.

"Zen, if you love me, you should try to heal. You must keep the spirit of continuing your life and do not despair." Imbuhku.

"But I really hope we can stick together May. I want to be able to live with you" he said with emphasis.

"Zen, the day after tomorrow I will represent the school for the Olympics. Please help me. Don't make me continue to be burdened with this desire of yours. I don't want to disappoint the school, and I hope I can succeed in this Olympics so that I can continue studying abroad." I explained to Zen.

"You're going to study abroad, May?" zen asked in disbelief.

"Yes Zen. Please pray for me yes. So that I may achieve my ideals." I said in a subtle tone.

"Yes, I'll excuse you. Bella must have waited for me a long time. You are healing quickly. Eat a lot. Don't be like a child." I said goodbye to Zen.

I got up from the chair and stepped out of Zen who was dumb. Maybe he doesn't believe that I want to continue studying abroad. But I'm getting convinced to study abroad. So that I can also forget all the events here.

I nodded my head and asked Bella to come home. Looks like papa Zen wants to convey something.

"May, uh,. Oom wants to talk to you" said papa Zen preventing us from saying goodbye.

"Yes Oom, what are you talking about?" my many.

"Oom know, you're very disappointed with your mother. You are very hurt by your mother. But please, don't change your feelings for Zen. Please continue to love Zen." said papa Zen slightly sobbing.

I can only bite my lips with emphasis.

"Newly this time Zen dared to fall in love with someone. But all must run aground without the mistakes he made. Last night he kept delirious about saying your name. Her body is very hot. Oom was very worried about Zen if his disease had recurred." papa Zen resumed his talk.

"I'm sorry to know, Zen used to hurt what Oom was?" manya curious.

"First, when Zen's mother died, Zen was devastated and depressed. The doctor said his brain was a little troubled because he had been harboring his sadness for too long. And this has a bad effect on Zen's health. For this reason, after your mother worked at Oom's house, Zen began to get excited again to continue his life. Your mother was the one who brought Zen back to life as it is now. But the doctor said, Zen's brain was already affected by his depression. So he can't think about anything too much."

I was really surprised to hear the story from papa Zen. I didn't think Zen had a dark past in his life.

"Please May, don't leave Zen" said papa Zen, pleading.

"For that, Mayang has not been able to decide Oom. Now we ask for permission because it's starting late."

We finally asked for permission to go home.

On the way home, I still kept thinking about what Papa Zen said. Is it true that Zen hurts that bad.

It didn't feel like we were home. I went in and changed clothes.

After that, help at the shop.