Behind the Grey Cloud

03 Toughest Tests

When I opened my eyes, all I saw was my white surroundings. White blanket, white wall, white guava.

And all of it is white.

'Oh my God, where am I now?'

"Dad..."

Yep. I recall. Mr. Tarjo told me that my father fell and was taken to the hospital. I have to see Dad now.

I need to know dad's situation.

"Where's the deck? You're still limp"

Suddenly a beautiful sister came into this room and prevented me from waking up.

"I have to see Sus' father. Where's my dad now?" ask the nurse. I hope he knows how Dad is.

"Yes, your father is being treated by a doctor. You doain dad huh. So that she can get through her critical period." explained the nurse as she rubbed my hair.

"Sus criticism?" ask for an explanation

"Yes deck. Your father is critical. Said the neighbor who brought him here, your father fell while transporting the goods and the goods fell on your father's head. You are patient."

Without feeling these tears just fall down my cheeks.

Oh, my God, why is it like this.

When I got the happy news about my future, but my father was hit by a disaster.

And now, I have to how. Where do I have the money to pay for my and my dad's biayak?

"Darling, you're aware, son? I'm sorry, Mayang. I'll cover all your father's expenses at Mayang Hospital. You're patient." suddenly Miss Darmi came. He hugged me tightly.

Bu Darmi is the owner of the stall where Tarjo's father and father work. He was very kind to us. When my father comes home, Ms. Darmi often gives me food to give.

______________________________

I've been treated for a week. But it hasn't shown good news yet. Dad's still critical. And for a week I was here to accompany my father. I always wanted to be next to Dad.

"Dad, strong dad. Ceper's dad realized well. Mayang has good news for dad. Mayang entered the top 3 well. Even Mayang obtained the first rank in the school, and got to the district loh well.

After this, Mayang can continue school? The promise will learn more. Mayang promise will be a successful person well.Hopefully, later mom will come back to us again well. Mayang kangen mom yeah..."

Suddenly my father moved.

I'm appalled. I was about to run to the doctor. But father prevented him.

"Dad, let Mayang call the doctor. I've come to my senses."

"No need, son. Mayang is here. Dad's time isn't long, son."

"Dad don't talk like that. Mayang does not like. Do you want to leave Mayang like mother.?" My crying broke too.

Why do you talk like that.

What do you mean dad? I really don't understand.

"Darling, listen to me. Life and death are the will of God.

If you have to go, Mayang promises me. Mayang will continue to live a life. Mayang must be a spirit of learning. Mayang must be strong. "

"Dad..."

"Promise my father, son, do not leave prayers. You must continue to pursue your goals. You can't fall. You must be excited." said the father who increasingly stammer.

"Dad apologize son if you can't make Mayang happy. I'm sorry, son."

"Dad.. Mayang dear father. Don't talk much anymore. Dad's still limp. Let Mayang call the doctor yeah yeah." I asked Dad. I can no longer hear Dad's words. That sentence pierced my heart. I can't stand it...

"No need, son. It's time for Dad to leave..

ashhadu ala Ilaha ilallah. wa ashhadu Anna Muhammadarosululloh..."

"Ohhhhhh........."

Hearing my screams, the doctor and nurse came. They checked on dad.

A nurse hugged and calmed me.

"Patiently on deck. His father was calm there. Adek who was patient ya.." the doctor's words immediately made me feel helpless. I limp for a moment. No more energy. I'm really...........

____________________________

I'm sober.

I was just a dream.

This is my room. Yes, this is my room.

And out there, it looks like someone is teaching. That means I wasn't dreaming.

Dad really left me.

'Dad, why did you leave me so soon. I'm the same who's who now. I'm really on my own, yeah.'

But I remember my father's message. I have to be strong. I have to stay up. I definitely can.

I stepped my feet out of the room. There seem to be a lot of people who have been worshipping. I was greeted and greeted by Ms. Yasmin. My friends are also here.

"The patient one.."

My friends encouraged me.

I just replied with a nod of my head. Because these lips feel heavy to open.

I sat next to Dad's body. Yes, the person I've had all this time is stiff. Silence is not moving.

I hugged him tightly.

'Dad, Mayang sincerely father go. Mayang will be strong. Mayang promised, Mayang will be a successful person so that you are proud. Goodbye dad. '

When I hugged my father, it was time for him to be buried. People used to forbid me to come along. But I forced to come along. I want to take Dad to his final resting place.

___________________________________

When I got home from my father's funeral, I saw that Ms. Yasmin was sitting in front of the house. There are also some neighbors who are still here.

Ms. Yasmin stood up and approached me.

He let me go inside.

After sitting in front of the house, Ms. Yasmin held my hand.

"Darling, would you like to stay with my mother. My mother has no one here either. So are you."

I haven't answered it yet. I remember my time with Dad. Every morning I cook for my dad. When the night accompanied by studying by father.

"Darling, mom wants to be your foster parent. You want to, right? We'll be living together at mom's house."

"Sorry Mom, for now Mayang can not. Mayang still wants to be here with his memories of dad. If Mayang leaves, surely this house will also be lonely Mom. Once again Mayang apologized. Mayang needs time."

"Yes Mayang, I understand. Yes, I did, I said yes. I'll come here often."

he said while hugging and kissing me.

****

Slender.

Tonight is so quiet. I sat alone in the corner of the living room. Many of the neighbors offered to stay, but I refused.

I still want to be here reminiscing about my memories with my dad. With mom.

Ah mother, how are you. You know I'm here by myself. I'm gone forever, Mom. Didn't want you to come back here to accompany your daughter.

I can only cry until I fall asleep.

Tired of this sense of self. It was a heavy burden that I faced.

***

At 05:15 a.m., I woke up

'God, I'm bad luck. I haven't picked vegetables for dad's breakfast.'

When I was about to leave, I remembered that my father was dead. I put myself back on this mat.

'Dad...'

Even your existence still feels so warm here well.

"Astaghfirullahal 'adzyme"

I remembered my promise to Dad. I have to keep the spirit of continuing my life. I should and definitely can.

I rushed to the bathroom for ablution and then went to the room for dawn prayers.

In my prostration, I pleaded with Divine Robbi, that He might look after my father. That He may forgive father's guilt. And so that I can continue to be excited to continue my life.

After the prayer, I tidied my face and headed for the back garden. I feel my heart is better.

Today I'm going to cook my dad's favorite vegetable. There are also trasi and tempe.

But..

Depleted. I have to work so I can buy rice.

This morning I only had breakfast with vegetables without rice. After this I will go to the market. I'll go to Miss Darmi's. I'll help you there.

However, when I was still locking the door, suddenly Mr. Tarjo came

"Honey, here's some rice and some side dishes for you from Bu Darmi, Nduk."

"Lhoh sir. I just went to the market. I want to help Miss Darmi. It's a coincidence, rice's out at home."

"You are still a little boy Nduk. So do not work in the market. Ms. Darmi said, she will send you rice and side dishes every week. You go to school."

"But sir. I will definitely continue to be troublesome. And I'm afraid I'll become dependent on Miss Darmi." I refused subtly.

I don't want to trouble anyone else. I should be able to try it myself.

"Yes, that's what you accept Nduk. Let me talk to Bu Darmi."

"Yes sir. Thanks"

****

This afternoon, I just finished lunch.

It was like Mr. Tarjo, I immediately cooked rice and then some houses.

Tok tok tok tok

"Mayang Assalamualaikum.."

The sound of people knocking on the door.

"Wa'alaikumsalam, intermittently."

"Oh there's Miss Darmi. Please come in, ma'am. Can I help you?"

I'll let Miss Darmi in the guest room.

"Look at Nak. Mr. Tarjo said you refused the gift you wanted to give every week to you. Why Mayang?"

ask Ms. Darmi to me.

I'm not good. Because I refused, Miss Darmi bothered to visit me. He also brought me a hand.

"Sorry Mom, not just Mayang refused. But Mayang just didn't want to trouble mom. Mayang wants to try it for himself, ma'am. Not relying on giving. That's my father's message." I answered honestly

"Oh so. What do you want to do, son? You are still a child. Your job is to learn and play."

"Mmmm... Or just like this, Mom. Can Mayang borrow money from mom. Mayang will make food that Mayang can later sell or leave to stalls around Bu." suddenly I found an idea. I hope Miss Darmi agrees with my idea.

"This. Do not borrow. You just use it for capital. The result is you canister. Make your need." Ms. Darmi handed me some blue money.

"Mom, I borrowed this money. Later when it has been collected I turn back." reject me gently.

"Darling, you are so stubborn" he said, pinching my nose.

"The money's your father's payday. Mother is a little more. My mom wants to help you. You do not want to help mom so that mom can give alms to you anyway May? Mostly loving the orphans is mandatory Nak." added Bu Darmi while stroking my hair.

"Yes mom. Thanks yeah. Hopefully with this money Mayang can open a small business."

"Yes already, mommy said yes. If there is anything you should not hesitate to go to the place of mother May. Assalamualaikum..."

"Yes Mom. Thanks though.

Wa'alaikum..."

******

This morning, I'm going to start a business. Yesterday I was shopping for all kinds of equipment and necessities. I will make a cake that I will leave to stalls near here.

Mom used to make me a cake and it tasted really good.

I remember the recipe and ingredients a little bit.

'Bismillah.. Hopefully this effort is smooth and in demand'