Behind the Grey Cloud

40 Zen Pain

The day after tomorrow was my schedule for the Olympics for one Sunday outside the city.

During the race, all food and transport costs are on the responsibility of the school.

I was accompanied by a teacher assigned from the school.

Some days I also provided some material that will be used as a competition.

And for that, for a few days I did not take part in teaching and learning activities as usual.

After school, Bella approached me who had just tidied up a book in the library room. This is where I learned a few days.

" May, have you finished your studies?" bella asked when I put my book in the bag .

" Already Bel, let's go home." take me to Bella while standing.

" May, there's something I want to talk to you about." Bella said and held me back to stand up. He invited me back to sit on the bench in this library room.

"What's the Bel?" ask me with curiosity.

Tumben Bella wants to talk to me seriously.

I followed him by sitting next to him. Put my bags and books back.

"It's about Zen May. Zen has not been in 4 days. She's sick" Bella said.

I took a breath and exhaled slowly.

These lips seemed to be clenched to discuss about him again.

I still love Zen.

But my disappointment with my mother, who is now Zen's mother, made me forget this affection for her.

"Aren't you trying to reach her?" ask Bella because I just kept quiet.

I shook my head slowly.

I don't want to be in touch with Zen anymore.

"May, come. Zen has been in your heart. At least as a friend, don't you want to look at her?" bella's words so pierced my heart.

But Bella's right. I can't be selfish with Zen. Not only am I hurt by my mother's departure, but now Zen is also hurt by me.

I'm still quiet. I don't know what to do and talk about now. But I don't want this to make my concentration on the next Olympics so messy. I don't want to disappoint this school and I don't want my way so I can get into a public university blocked.

"Back of school we look at Zen. I asked Ms. Yasmin's permission." said Bella a little pushy.

I answered him with a nod of my head.

***

We arrived at Zen's house.

I set foot in this place again. After a while ago I was here too and finally went back to see my mother.

I stopped my steps.

It feels heavy for this leg to step inside. There was a piercing taste in the heart when recalling about the events of that night.

But Bella clasped my hand tightly. As if giving me strength and giving me spirit.

I nodded my head and we walked into Zen's house.

Ting Ting Ting Ting Ting

Bella rang the bell on the door of Zen's house.

But there is no lawfulness. Bella tried again and greeted him.

"Assynoltom..."

Slender.

and Bella repeated it.

"Maybe there's no one. Let's just go home." take me to Bella.

At least I feel relieved because I did not meet people who I was not ready to meet them.

We had just stepped out of Zen's house, and suddenly the door was opened. There was a middle-aged mother coming out from inside.

"Sorry Neng, who are you looking for?" greet the woman.

"We're Zen Bu's schoolmates. Is Zen home?" ask Bella to the mother.

"Oh his friend den Zen. Let's enter. Den Zen is inside. Being fed to the same mother. From this morning do not want to eat." replied this mother.

"Let's sit down Neng, I'll call mom first." Mother said this and passed away leaving us.

We just nodded and smiled at the mother. Perhaps she was a household assistant in the Zen family.

Before long, mama Zen came down from the stairs. Seeing my arrival, he looked happy.

"Thank you, baby. You want to come visit Zen. I don't know what else to persuade Zen. He doesn't want to eat, doesn't want to take medicine. She was frustrated hard after you broke up May." mama Zen told us.

Again, I just kept silent, speechless.

"Have you been taken to the doctor, too, Tan?" bella's asking broke the mood.

"It's Bel, but yes because Zen does not want to try to heal so yes there has been no change. Even last night his body was very hot. He was delirious to say the name Mayang." he said while sobbing.

It was painful to see a mother crying over her sick child.

Even though the pain in my chest also came up.

Zen is the stepdaughter of the mother, but the mother is so considerate of Zen. Then what about me whose real son?

But hearing her mother's story about Zen, my worry about Zen grew.

"Can we see Zen?" I asked without mentioning the name of Zen's mother or mine.

"May darling. Come with mom." My mother led me up the stairs to Zen's room.

After opening the door, he said

"Please persuade Zen to eat yes. I'll stay back first."

I just nodded in response.

Slowly I walked into his room.

I saw him lying on his back to me. Maybe he was unaware of my presence.

His body was slightly shaken. Like she was crying

I also called him slow.

"Zen.." I said softly.

The man kept silent not looking. I got closer and closer to him and I went up to him and was in front of him

Realizing my presence, she hurriedly wiped away her tears.

This heart was sliced to see him cry.

"Have you been here a long time?" her question seemed to hide her sadness.

"Lumayan." I replied

" You're what's up?" ask again.

"I'm good." she replied healthily. I know that he is not good.

"You eat yes. I'm bribe."

I picked up the plate that was located on the bedside table.

I feed him in silence. He refused to ask or say anything to me.

Until it is not felt, the food on the plate toilet is not left.

"Take the medicine." I said while taking the medicine located not far from the plate.

I gave it to Zen and gave him water.

"You must be diligent to take medicine so that you recover quickly and can go back to school" I added.

"My medicine has come. So I no longer need medicine from the doctor" she said with a smile and clasped my hand

I let out a breath. I know where Zen's talking is going.

I want to avoid. But I don't want him to get sick anymore.

"Zen, can I talk?" my permission's with him.

He just nodded and squeezed my hand even more.

My heart was made to beat by the touch of his hand.

"Actually, I still love you. But I'm asking for time to restore my slightly broken heart to this reality. The fact that you and I are now Zen's half-brothers. There's still a bit of pain if I meet your mama." I said long to Zen.

"May, uh,. This is the first time I fell in love. But it has to end without any problems related to our relationship.

I know you're sick, but it's not my fault. Then why are you punishing me like this." This time Zen spoke. His voice was a little raucous while holding back the cry.

"I know it's not your fault. There's nothing wrong here. It's just that circumstances have changed everything. Try to think, the mother who I have longed for, who has always left me until I was alone, turned out to have a family of her own with happiness and forget her biological children. And another bitter reality, it turns out that her mother has been caring lovingly for the person she loves so much."

I can't keep these tears from just flowing.

"Zen I beg you. It's not just you who are sick. But I am too. It hurts so much, though. If you say this is your first love, so am I. You're my first love and we have to part ways because of this situation." I'm back on my word.

"I beg you not to be rich little boy."