Behind the Grey Cloud

33 The Grey Cloud

This morning I felt all my body hurt.

Last night I cried in Ms. Yasmin's lap.

This head feels so heavy.

Ms. Yasmin came and checked on me.

" You're sick baby, your body is anget. Today there is no need to go to school first." Ms. Yasmin ordered me.

I nodded my head because it felt like going to school my body was not strong.

" Later after breakfast we go to the doctor. I don't want you to do anything." added Ms. Yasmin

I just follow my mother's orders.

I went to the bathroom to wash my face and brush my teeth.

After that I went back to my room.

Today I was lazy.

Ms. Yasmin came in and brought me breakfast. I was also fed to Ms. Yasmin.

Just a few bribes, I refused him. This food tastes bland like my heart.

Ms. Yasmin got me some milk and she went back to the kitchen.

I heard he was calling the school to ask permission not to go to school.

After a few dozen and petrified Aunt Mita to prepare the needs of the stall, Ms. Yasmin invited me to go to the doctor.

The cure for my pain is in my heart. Right now, I still cannot accept this harsh reality.

When we got to the front yard of Aunt Mita's house, Mom came.

I tried to dodge but mother first held my arm.

" Mayang forgive mom son." ask mom against me.

I'm not flinching.

Mom tried to hold me and let go.

" I'm sorry, we're in a hurry" I said.

I also held the hand of Ms. Yasmin leaving the mother who continued to cry.

I don't want to act like that to Mom. But the pain in my heart was so deep that it made me like this.

My eyes are also heating up. I can't help but hold these tears down.

I hugged Ms. Yasmin tightly.

Ms. Yasmin understands how I feel right now. Then he took me to a place full of flowers.

Ms. Yasmin took me for a walk down a path surrounded by colorful flowers.

We also arrived at a lake.

It's very cold here.

Then we sat on a bench under a shady tree.

I lay my body on the tree trunk.

Breathe in the air and exhale it slowly.

Slowly, my heart began to calm down.

I took Ms. Yasmin's hand. I want to tell him a lot.

" Mommy." call me

" Yes dear." replied Ms. Yasmin

" Before you left, you once told Mayang. That Mayang must forgive the mistakes of mother. But Mayang's heart still can't accept everything that you've done. Is Mayang wrong Ma'am?" ask Ms. Yasmin.

" May, you know that every human being must have made a mistake" Ms. Yasmin answered my question with another question.

He was silent for a moment, then continued "First when your mother left you and father, when you were a child. You don't know what made your mother leave. All you know is that I'm not happy. Actually beyond that, your mother must have another reason why she left. Though you also feel for yourself that before your mother left, your life was very happy. Yes, even a simple life, but you're a happy family, right?"

I imbibe the words of Ms. Yasmin while nodding my head.

Indeed, all this time I never knew what the reason for mother to be able to leave me and father.

" Now you are still angry with your mother, but try to make peace with your feelings May. Do not let this also make your relationship and Zen must end. Zen doesn't want any of this. So too with your mother. He does not want his biological children and stepchildren who he has been keeping away because of him." added Ms. Yasmin.

Hearing Ms. Yasmin say that, I immediately hugged her tightly.

Then we were silent too.

We are busy in our own minds.

I closed my eyes, trying to shake everything that had happened. Trying to make peace with my own heart

" Mom, if someday I can forgive my mother, Ms. Yasmin will still consider Mayang as a mother's child. Mayang can stay with mom?" I said to Ms. Yasmin.

I feel more comfortable being with Ms. Yasmin.

" May may, forever you will remain a mother's child. Because I have no one but you." replied Ms. Yasmin to calm my heart.

We've been here for hours.

I feel so good to be here.

My head that was heavy, now it's much better. My heart is much calmer too.

I thank God, because He has sent the figure of an angel in my mother's stead.

The day began to enter in the afternoon, Ms. Yasmin also invited me to go home.

" Let's go home, May. We've been here too long. Fear that Aunt Mita will start us again." take Ms. Yasmin.

I nodded and immediately got up to follow Ms. Yasmin home from here.

Along the way, we were both silent.

I was silent about what I was going to do, while Ms. Yasmin was silent to let me think.

It doesn't feel like we've reached the front of Aunt Mita's house.

I stopped my leg when I found out there was a Zen car parked next to the alley.

Then Ms. Yasmin took my hand with a nod of her head. Gave a signal that I could.

We continued walking into the courtyard of Aunt Mita's house. And sure enough, Zen had been waiting for me in front of Aunt Mita's house. He's still in his school uniform.

It's afternoon.

It seems like he's been waiting for me since school.

Upon learning of my arrival, Zen stood up. He was about to hug me, but I avoided.

" Sorry Zen. I need some time alone. And I ask you to please tell your mama to give me time to calm this heart." I said as I passed leaving Zen still dumbfounded.

I went into my room, locked myself in here.

I heard him talking to Ms. Yasmin.

" Sorry Zen, Mayang is right. He still needs time to set his heart. It's too soon for him. Pray that everything will be okay again. And for Ms. Sarini, please tell her in the meantime don't see Mayang just yet.

I'm sure Mayang is a forgiving person. So please tell your mom to be patient." Ms. Yasmin gave Zen some understanding.

Zen was finally ready to leave and leave a bouquet of yellow roses as a sign of his forgiveness.

My life is like a cloud of grey again. After a long time the cloud did not appear, now he comes again.

Come to test me

Test how much I feel about my faith, how much patience and how much gratitude I feel.

I am sure that God will not give trials to His people beyond their means.

If God tests me with this problem, God thinks I can deal with it.

Because, there will definitely be a rainbow after the rain. There will be happiness after sorrow.

At least, I still have loved ones like Miss Yasmin, Aunt Mita, and Bella.

I was also given health and sanity. Though I once thought it might be better to go crazy. Not to be as sick as you are now.

' Dad, mom has come back. But not like before. He returns as a stranger to Mayang. He's back with his new family. And Mayang is currently unable to forgive mother. Mayang is too sick.'