Aryana Hanna

Enough, this is enough for me

Diaries

02 February 2020. Hana Aryana's

Thought if I pretended not to see, not to hear. The feeling in the bottom of this heart will be fine, it turns out I was wrong. Precisely by acting like this, my heart's feelings are getting sicker. Feels tight and stinging

I had to how to respond to all this, too tired I acted happily. As if I was always someone else or disguised as a woman with a grey veil or maybe black, it could be red and everything else. I can behave like a piece of paper without stains or it can also be a piece of cloth dangling a charmer

I said in my heart "I want to fly free like a butterfly even though my body is fragile and weak. Although it was short-lived, I could at least feel the freedom of hovering over the air without being body-covered by the weight of a hunk of pomegranate. Let me sing out the melodious rhythm of the tone I speak in my heart deeply remembered"

"My Lord, look at me. How pitiful I look to you to make a rose. My God am I so despicable? It's okay if you give me a moment of happiness, I'm afraid to be in a narrow and dark room. I was afraid of being alone, very scared out there alone. I'm afraid to be alone, stand alone. Afraid that no one would come to my aid from the torment of bodily fear"

I want to be free to feel the pleasure of life without any trace of bitter taste. Bitter which is always poisoning in every gust of a second. Breath feels stingy. So tight and sick

God is he, a man I like is the best for my life? Which you chose for me

"I hesitated to live the beginning of a new life with him for good. He's a secret liar too"

Unfortunately, time cannot be repeated backwards. After that there was dust and ashes

"What little girl do you like?" In my heart I dreamt of my childhood

"Likes? Why ask that? Can you ask the others?" He showed a stunned face listening to the question

"Easy to answer"

"All right!" He breathed "I like everything"

"About what"

"Here, about the dream shadow"

"Then you always hide in the shadow of your dreams, but you want to like what. About what, what you like"

"I'm confused? Don't ask me around"

"This is a question that contains a puzzle, can you answer it immediately"

"No. I'm not a fool, I don't like puzzles"

"Why are you talking rudely! Not okay. Why not like it"

"Because the puzzle is suitable for many intelligent creatures and braggars"

"You also like to be a braggart"

"Yes, of course. Because I'm a smart man" he pointed one finger at the sky

"You say stupid" I sniffed his not-so-wide eel

"For those who like puzzles" He shook his head "Not this but that answer. You alone can answer it. Don't ask me about yourself, because I'm just the shadow of your dream"

Since the day I realized that all decisions come from self-thought, then which decisions deserve to be called balanced? I don't know if I think this is all an answer to the indecision of the heart. Want this to be so. Choosing now turns out whether when to redeem, right or wrong all is a risk that must be borne

Live life as it is, without having to be another is not more delicious. No need to be made up better to make, calmness and happiness is not something that can be sought but must be made.

My Lord, listen to me. I have always prayed and asked thee the Great, have I ever forgotten my prayer which Thou hast answered? Can it be counted or recorded in memory? How many already! 1000 Or 100 maybe 10 seeds? "Just talk to me about this"

"I think my mind is starting to get unhealthy" I want to read a lot of books on lessons but I don't really like reading, preferring to look at what's there carefully

It is a record of my heart how I like to hope and pray to the Almighty. May all my prayers always be granted

"I want to ask you! How do you look at me? Are you bored with me? If so, I guess. I can't satisfy your cravings, so look for one that can satisfy your lusts" My smile can kill you, my laughter can bind you, my touch will suffocate, my scent can poison your mind "So be careful" It's not about you it's about me or what and who

I don't think there's anything else I want to write and tell you in the daily book "I might be bored first" Hemmmh.... "That's it, I hope all is well"

The current is crashing the waves

The whirlpools turned into tornadoes

Disappear in the earth

I used to say welcome

Now you say goodbye

May safety always be with you

Oh well about wishful thinking, it all starts from dreams and hope. I want to hold on to reach my mind and love. Hope is remembered now

Never harbor hatred and lies, overflow if only able to make calm. Don't be a loser let alone a coward who is always hiding in the bars of justice. Nothing is fair on earth, in this mortal world. Justice can only be spoken of but it is difficult to be real. "Don't tell me about a bragging word that's even more despicable than the word *Stupid"

May I remain clever without falling into senility, looking ugly hah.tak as beautiful as a lotus. About the prickly rose*

It's just a figure of speech not an insult.

"Why do women always stick to the name of the rose? I guess it's because of its beauty and fragrance"

"Why women don't stick to the heart like a lotus" I thought for a moment "It's possible to be floating in water, broad-leaved, without branches and tree trunks"

Fragility is strength, weakness is a weapon, beauty is of course coolness

Now it's over. I consider the diary stalled here "I'm tired of just saying"

If I can suppose "I want to continue dreaming without fear and worry of haunting" Therefore, My Smile "Keep hoping even in a position entangled rope poured hanging" "Hopefully soon, someone comes to me to save me from the ugliness I am living through" This is my prayer

Never give up, everything will be fine. Don't blame one for the other, it's pointless because time won't turn back, it'll leave only a trail of dust and ash

The choice is always held by hand. It can only be once without the word twice, because the second is the answer to the indecision "It may be a whisper of the devil. The second" "Don't be a creature of plin-plan sense. not good to be seen by the eye, do not deserve to say want to knit despair"

Been old, do not hold hatred and grudges. Or the fire of anger will burn, scorch without rest. A secuil stains the sign of helplessness

Crying is better if it makes you happy. It might be better than getting hurt. Soaking a wound was akin to hiding a dagger in the chest, unsheathing the heart. No one will come to help. Help yourself before it's too late

Don't say shit

(About: I whom you do not yet know)

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