Aerospace

Chapter 46 - Feeling lost

Camila Pov's

" ahem... Mother's child seems to be upset." Mother's speech made me look up.

I who was holding my chin up on the pantry table sighed softly. Staring at the mother who was busy kneading pastry dough.

" again unwell, aja bun.." I put my head back on both arms on the table.

" don't feel good at anything."

I choose to close my eyes regardless of mother. I know you are teasing me. Because there are some days my mood is in a bad condition.

" if you call me. Not bad it can be a little treated. "the words of the Mother this time make me look up to look at the Mother does not like.

" who else misses." I pursed my lips.

Mother chuckles. I got off the chair and walked away from the kitchen.

Get in the room and drop my lackluster body on the bed. I don't know what made my heart go bad these days either. Maybe because of Om Dirga's thoughts. For a week the man had no news.

Accustomed to her presence almost every day, I now suddenly felt lonely. Actually where did Om Dirga go. Why am I thinking about her.

Remembering the words of the mother earlier, did I miss her. But where is it possible? I never even felt that his presence in my life meant so much. So why am I so sad now.

Scroll the cell phone lying on the bed. I took it and opened whatsapp hoping there was a chat or anything from Om Dirga. But the result is nil. There was no call or message from him.

I remember very well the last time I met her when I accompanied her sister Danisha in the mall. And I met Om Dirga with a woman who, if I don't remember wrongly, introduced him to me as a co-worker.

A co-worker? Is it true that the woman was just her co-worker alone.the woman who was with Om Dirga at that time was very beautiful, her body was tall, and looked so sexy to the size of an adult woman. I don't think there's a man who wouldn't be tempted by a woman like that.

Why am I so frustrated like this. I have my hair that is not covered with hijab this time. If at home only with mother I rarely wear hijab indeed.

Staring at the cell phone still in my hand. I'm confused between calling Om Dirga or not. But my little heart seemed compelled to contact her even though it was just say hello. I want to hear his voice so that my heart is relieved. But if I call her if she wants to answer.

I once again weighed doubtfully. But it seems my ego forbids to contact her.

I reopen whatsapp app looking for Om Dirga contacts. My mouth was gaping but I immediately closed it with my palm. Om Dirga is online. I'll make myself type something on him.

" Om" is just one word and then I touch the send button.

My heart's kebat kebit uncertain. Suddenly I deg an. Two ticks are blue. I was wrong to allow my seat.

" already to read.." I muttered alone.

Ting

A reply from Om Dirga. I chatted from him.

Why do you think: why baby? Kangen me hmm.. 😉"

I slammed the cell phone on the bed. He went to Ge-er An. Sorry why I had to chat him first.

I took back my phone that now vibrates. now it's just about Dirga even called me. I wanted to lift it up but I was embarrassed. I just looked at the phone with mixed feelings until the call was interrupted.

Ting......

Back my phone's voice sounded. I got an incoming message via whatsapp.

Why don't you pick up my phone? Said kangen? Look out you can not sleep nahan kangen with this handsome husband of yours.

Oh, my God, why did Om Dirga make me even more embarrassed. Until I get caught if I'm upset because of her.

Kubalas chat from her.

Me: who misses? I happened to see Dirga online. There is no harm in me

Oh well, I know...... Patience is dear.... The kangen was arrested first. Bang toyib came home.... 😄

Me : what the hell..... 😝

Om sarap: take good care of yourself..... Keep your love just for me.

Me : 😭😭😭😭

Immediately I close my whatsapp and end the chat with Om Dirga. Can stress me long time chat with him. How not if I've had all this but he's even that relaxed.

Withstanding the frustration I went back downstairs. Enter the pantry back to accompany Mother who has now started to remove the baking sheet from the oven. The smell of butter that was so fragrant a little made my mood improve again.

Mother turned her head when she found me sitting pretty on the pantry chair.

" have you called?" ask Mommy.

I cringed not understanding. So Mommy thought if I wanted to call Om Dirga.

" how's Dirga there. It's fine, right? When to return from Riau? Duh kasian Mother's child if left too long."

" Riau "my ulangku.

Mommy looks at me sharply. "don't tell me that you don't know if Dirga's son is in Riau right now."

My mouth opened and I clenched it back. My head is shaking weakly.

" what? So you really don't know that Dirga boy is now in Riau!!"

" yes Mother. Mila doesn't know. Bentar Bun's.... Kok Bunda can know that Om Dirga there is Riau." I looked at Mother full of investigation.

" does Dirga want to go to Mila? Even though Dirga pamit loh to Mommy. It's also impossible if Dirga's son doesn't tell you. "

" Mother.... Suer deh Mila really did not know. "I raised my hand while pointing my index and middle fingers to form the letter V.

" didn't there call Mila, too? "

I'm back to shaking.

" that night Dirga came here. He said he wanted to say goodbye to Mila. It turns out you're asleep. Yes, Mommy has been quiet because the mother thinks Dirga's son has called himself to Mila."

Mother put back the pan that has been printed peanut cake into the oven. Then Mother approached and stood in front of me.

" this beautiful Mother's child pantesan galau mulu.... It's not on the phone apparently. " Mother's hand made the tip of my nose go away before leaving me alone.

        ******

It has even been a month since the departure of Om Dirga who is said to be in Riau. And during this time we only chatted a few times or just chat via whatsapp. Not infrequently I first who was forced to chat with him then Om Dirga wanted to call me. Even so he teased me more often to the point of pissing me off and by forced I would quickly disconnect the phone because it was no longer strong to hold the shame due to his jokes.

Not because it is too aggressive to always decide to contact him. If you wait for Om Dirga first who contacted can-can until lebaran monkey he never heard.

I don't know why he became like this to me. Sometimes bad thoughts haunt me. It could be that Om Dirga is too busy with his woman who.... Ah what's that name. Um.... If it's not wrong I was introduced to him as Vira.

Remembering it only makes me angry and hurt. Imagining there Om Dirga being alone with Vira, joking and always being together is very frustrating.

Am I being jealous? Exactly like what Om Dirga always looked like from me if I was tired of calling the name Vira.

So why am I jealous? It doesn't feel possible. But why do I always feel hurt and urgency if I keep remembering Om Dirga with Vira.

And honestly since there was no Om Dirga, I really had a hard time controlling my emotions. My mood gets worse more often even because of trivial things.

Mother also seemed to feel the change in my attitude. I am often lazy to do any activity. My hobbies are just sleeping, watching tv and daydreaming. Like there is no spirit of life.

Is that how bad I am now. And is so great the influence of om Dirga on me now. I honestly don't know why it could be like that.

Perhaps this is the name of feeling lost when abandoned.

My phone inside the bag shook, blowing away all my daydreams. I looked to the left and right. Just realized that I was in the college courtyard right now. Sitting under a large tree in the garden area. Even the original intention I had wanted to read the book was not fulfilled because now the book in my hand I just opened it without the slightest I read.

Back my phone vibrated, for the umpteenth time I stammered. Immediately I opened my bag and reached for the flat object inside.

" mama" muttered.

I'll immediately drop off the green phone.

" assalamualaikum ma." I said hello to his mother Om Dirga who was none other than my mother-in-law.

" greetings from my beautiful son." Mom's crisp voice at the end made me smile.

" Mila.." call her

" yes ma."

" why does Mila rarely come home. I miss Mama with Mila."

" excuse Mila ma. The end of the end of this Mila is very busy schedule considering another two weeks Mila will be testing."

" oah.... Mila at mama dong's house. Mama Kangeennnn very much with Mila. Um tomorrow is saturday. Mila must be on holiday. "

" yes ma. Saturday Sunday Mila's off."

" yes then Mila came here.... "

" now ma? " tanyaku.

" yes.. Mila where is it now. "

" it's still on campus ma. "

" what time is it coming home? " ask mom again.

" Mila no longer has any classes. This is again waiting for Danisha because Mila wants to go home. "I grin.

" what a coincidence. This is Mama just checked in with the doctor. Now the way home. Mila just wait at the college. Let me go get Mila now. "

" um but ma..... "

" it's just Mila wait there and don't go anywhere. Ten minutes to go, mama's by. Bye.... "

Tut's.. Tut's...

I haven't been able to answer again the phone connection has been cut off. I can only wait for my mother's invitation. I haven't been to my in-laws' house in a long time. There is no harm if I go there.

I'm looking for contact Danisha. I sent him a whatsaap message. I said if I went to my mom's house and I asked her to let Danisha go straight home after class. Not to forget I also sent a message to Mother. I'm allowed to come home late because I want to stop by Mom's house for a while.

I put my phone back in the bag. The book I didn't read earlier was also put in my bag. Afterwards I rushed out of the park area and walked down the campus courtyard while waiting for my mother to pick me up.