Women of Choice
Simplifying the Mahar
***
"Don't want to be invited to marry Mas Agung, he took part in a false study," Mala told me.
Hearing such unexpected information instantly shocked me. How could a man I knew so well be able to follow false teaching? This heart tried to pull over and not listen to what Mala had just said before I knew it for sure. Who knows Mala talking like that just wants to prevent me from continuing our intentions, me and Mas Agung to go to a holy bond of marriage.
Because I also know for sure that basically Mala who used to be his future wife Mas Agung still holds great taste and hope to the man from the Javanese tribe.
Yes, they were both planning to step into the building. Mala also asked me to attend and accompany her wedding reception later. He asked for a gift in the form of sheets also from me. I who at that time heard his chatter only responded with a wry smile because deep down there was envy ambushed.
I used to be envious whenever a friend or friend brought news of marriage. Because at that time I myself found it difficult to get to the stage that every adult girl like me dreamed of.
I was just saying what Mala said. Mala did not know that my heart was difficult to describe.
As time goes by. I don't know what happened between Mas Agung and Mala. Until one day Mas Agung contacted me and reported that he was not a match with his candidate stria.
Hearing the unexpected news was tucked a hint of hope in the heart. Between disbelief and happiness melts into one.
***
The Mala narrative that he had told a few months ago about the heresy followed by Mas Agung disturbed the heart niche. There is no way I can marry a man who has different guidelines even deviated from the faith. Moreover, the figure of the true husband must be a priest and role model wife and children later.
Starting from the curiosity I also tried to dare to ask all the unek-unyak that had been stuck in the heart. Is it true that he is following a false study as Mala has said.
Through a telephone connection, Mas Agung answered one by one all questions from me. The adult man also suggested that I find out for myself the study he had been following. He asked me to search for information via the internet on google about the study of MTA (Majlis Tafsir Al-Qur'an) which is the center of its location said to be in the city of Solo-Central Java. I live in Pandeglang-Banten area.
I know Mas Agung apart from the intermediary Mala also turned out we used to study once a campus in the Serang area. Just a semester. Never know each other from first time in until graduation and graduation. Precisely met after Mas Agung had worked in the area where he came from.
Mas Agung at that time had taken the time to visit home with the intention of friendship and will propose to me in the near future if after meeting feel there is a mutual match.
Qodarullah we also feel fit for each other just waiting for the right time to get to the most sacred stage, the sacred bond of marriage.
However, Mala's words suddenly made me doubt what he said if Mas Agung participated in the study of falsehood. I was thinking is this one of the temptations or tests for people who are going to advance to marriage? Satan tries to sow doubt so that people who had solidified their hearts toward the intention of worship in the bonds of marriage so that they fail in the middle of the road.
With a pounding heart I started writing the word MTA in the search field of internet sites via smart phones. Within seconds appeared several writing sites related to MTA. My thumb clicked on one of the top posts among the rows of sites lined up on the phone screen.
Line by line I read out all the reviews about MTA studies. Which unfortunately was the first time I read the exposure of someone who he said had been a MTA worshiper. But, resigned because of the many irregularities in it. Among them, he said, pilgrims are obliged to pay three hundred thousand rupiahs every time they attend the study. Other kaejanggalan said the ustaz justify dogs.
I shuddered in horror after reading out all the reviews of someone former MTA santri.
I also retold to Mas Agung about the writing I had read earlier. Mas Agung straightened out and suggested that I read other versions of writing that fit the truth.
I was even more curious about the name MTA which at that time still sounded very foreign in the ear. Because what I knew at that time was that the truly heretical study was only the Ahmadiyya and NII groups.
Mas Agung also suggested that I find out the profile of kiyai Marzuki who he said was always one of the cons against MTA.
After reading both between MTA and Marzuki's kiyai group, I concluded that MTA is not as bad as what most people think so far. My heart grew more and more convinced with my intention to choose Mas Agung as priest and life companion.
"From now on, just live each of our lives. If we are destined to mate God willing, there must be a way for us to unite."
That's how the words of Mas Agung who has succeeded in making this heart break to pieces. A thousand questions raged in the head. Why is he suddenly able to say that? Was he really not willing to marry me as he had said before? Why exactly now say that?
I try to set my heart so that my tears do not break while the phone is still connected.
"Why did Big Brother suddenly say that? Then what about our intention to get married in the near future?" Finally came out my question.
"The intention to propose and marry remains. But for now let us live our own lives without having to ask each other the news every time. Tho, if it's time and God's fate betroth us we'll definitely meet again." The answer at that time was still unaccepted.
Why did he say that when my heart began to believe in him. Why not before he went home. Is it out there that he's found another girl who he thinks fits better in his heart?
Half-heartedly I was only able to reproduce everything he said. After I pressed for the reason until he suddenly said that. It turned out that he had just returned from school. A weekly study that he regularly attended in one of the branches. The ustaz emphasizes to all pilgrims, especially to those who are still single, not to establish relationships outside the marriage bond. Because all of that besides being prohibited religion will also cause slander. So said.
Mas Agung also conveyed a hadith that he got from the results of his salary which means:
“The stabbing of a person's head with hot iron, is really better for him than touching a woman who is not his mahram.” (CHR. Thobroni in Mu'jam Al Kabir 20:211.
That hadith was apparently the reason the man made the decision that we should temporarily keep our distance and not establish communication too intense.
After hearing the reviews are quite long, I also seemed to find new strength to strengthen my heart. Trying to accept the decision of Mas Agung especially the reason that is my little heart also agreed. And I'm even more convinced that Mas regal is a good man. You can protect yourself from bad things that are forbidden by religion.
***
A few months later, I kept my promise. Meet me for the second time directly with some of his extended family to apply directly.
Days and dates are set without any good days or bad days as used by most people.
For the cost and dowry, Mas Agung only gave just that. I'm not even in trouble. Because I think getting married doesn't have to be done with a fancy and festive party. With a simple event the origin is fulfilled in harmony and the legal requirements of marriage are enough.
"Mom, do you mind if my wedding is held quite simply there is no reception like the others?" I asked my mother carefully when I helped her cut vegetables in the kitchen.
The old woman also paused her activity that was frying fish. Looking up at me with a curved smile he said, "It's okay, son. It's not a big deal to think about. For your mother has been met with a good and righteous soul mate it is a gift that must be grateful."
"You as a woman should never feel disappointed and sad when given a potluck dowry by your future husband. Do not be burdensome by asking for those beyond the limits of his ability" concluded the mother later.
As with one of the verses in the Holy Quran:
Meaning: “And give mascawin (mahar) to women (whom you marry) as a voluntary gift. Then, if they give you part of it (maskawin) with pleasure, then accept it and enjoy the gift with pleasure.” (QS. Nisa An: 4)
So that the encouragement that mother gave so that I could better establish a married heart with the sole intention to perfect the religion and just hope for His Ridha.
***
Entering the age of marriage now I am pregnant with a prospective baby who will soon be born to complete our happiness
