Women of Choice
Learning Without Boundaries
Bima drives two-wheeled vehicles at high speed. Tiredness that whack the man's body after a day of work makes him want to immediately get home and rest tired.
Just now the man was about to knock on the door and say hello. His ears caught the cry of Billa, the wife was scolding Vito their 6-year-old eldest son.
"Eat him don't play. Learn the real thing!" hardik Billa with perfectly glared eyes towards Vito made the boy bow with a frightened look on his face.
While the boy's hands and thighs were filled with reddish marks due to the mother's pinching. Occasionally Billa slammed the notebook and pen owned by Vito showed his frustration because the baby could not imitate the writing that he exemplified.
Bima greeting no one answered because Billa was scolding Vito in a high voice. Bima entered the house without a sound after putting her carry bag on the middle room table. The man went to the bathroom to wash his hands and feet and stepped into the room and laid his body on the bed.
The desire to be able to rest quietly after arriving home was not in accordance with what Bima hoped. Billa's scolding of Vito is becoming.
Bima stood back from the bed. Stepping toward the door and opening violently while saying in a high voice to the wife spilled frustration because she thought Billa was not good at educating children.
"What kind of mother are you? There is no softness at all. If you do not want to teach children, yes, it does not need to be imposed from screams and anger like that!" bima Bershak then.
Hearing Bima's booming voice filled the room of the house as soon as Billa was silent. His voice is no longer heard. The atmosphere became silent for a moment. Billa got up from her seat leaving Vito alone still stricken with fear.
Billa ran to the room and closed the door and locked it from the inside. His body was falling behind the wall. The crying that he had been holding since had spilled out instantly.
'I'm like this because of you, Mom! I am tired of living in such a situation. You seem to assume my presence was never in this house. Your time is spent working all day. Without even thinking of the slightest bit of feeling I felt neglected and lonely!' Billa screamed in her heart.
While Bima who saw his wife locked herself in the room chose to take Vito out of the house leaving the woman he had married 7 years ago was increasingly stunned alone.
For the umpteenth time Billa had to swallow the disappointment that he craved. His little heart hoped that he was crying and then came to him and apologized and asked the cause of his sadness.
However, as long as the woman lives together with the husband never once get treatment like his dream. The warmth in his household was only a wish that he had never felt.
Plus lately Bima's attitude is so stiff and cold towards the wife. Come home as if to eat, shower, and just unwind. Unwilling to know with his wife's feelings that desperately muffle disappointment by the husband's attitude.
One form of rebellion that Billa showed was to vent anger to the baby who never knew anything about the problems of his parents. Although little heart Billa strongly admitted that his attitude was a fatal mistake. But, the woman seemed to close her eyes to be able to spill the disappointment that had rusted in the chest.
***
"Now you better go home and meet your wife at home! Billa behaved so only because she felt tired after a day of taking care of children and homework. Not merely because of his original temperament," the mother wisely advised after hearing the complaint from her son just now.
"You should know that the wife depends on her husband. If the husband is right to treat the wife then all business must be in order. Because the death of the state of the household depends on the condition of the wife's heart. The one who has control is you, as a husband." Advice from Bu Halimah to Bima.
Bu Halimah also reminded Bima with one of the hadiths of the Apostle hoping that his son's heart was open and broken.
“You guys are the kindest to his wife, and I am the kindest person to my wife” (HR. Tirmidhi)
***
Almost before Maghrib Bima just invited Vito back home. The state of each room began to look dark sign that no one turned on the lights.
Bima approached the wife whose bedroom door was not locked. Billa was still curled up on the bed behind her. Apparently the woman fell asleep after being tired of crying for hours.
"Dad, I'm hungry to eat" Vito pinta from the living room watching television.
"Vito wait here for a moment, yes, I want to buy food first outside," bima said while kissing the head of the baby and then grabbed the jacket draped on the sofa and motor keys lying on the table.
Twenty minutes later Bima came back with a scraping pouch in her hand. He bought 3 packs of fried rice for dinner. After pouring it onto the plate and then give it to Vito who seems to be impatient to want to eat immediately.
Bima tried to approach Billa who was still in his original position.
"Well, get up first. Eat first, yuk! Dad had bought fried rice," he asked while slowly shaking his wife's shoulder.
Billa began to squirm trying to open the eyes that felt heavy. But, the pain in the head undoes his intention to sit.
"My head hurts so much, Mom," he said later.
"Yes, don't move too much just yet. Then bring the food here." Bima then turned around to take the plate owned by Billa which already contained fried rice that he bought earlier.
Seeing the attitude of the husband that looks can begin to show his attention Billa tried to dare to take out all the grunts that had been stuck in his heart.
"Need to know, if the state of my heart is normal and happy. God willing I can be fine even if I have to be faced with this endless mountain of homework assignments. My emotions will be easily controlled not to scold the child all day. Therefore I asked Mas Bima to help me to keep my mental state stable," said Billa at length.
"How?" ask the tall man.
"Mas had to learn how to make me feel valued and considered a partner. I want to be treated like a wife" replied Billa expectantly.
"meaning?" Apparently Bima has not been able to catch in which direction his wife talks.
"Did Mas realize that all this time Mas did not consider my existence? Every day Mas Bima activities go to work, go home to the bath, eat, pray, then sleep. In fact, here I need to be considered by being asked about my news and circumstances, listened to all my stories even though only the stories of daily activities that Mas often consider trivial," said Billa with a voice began to tremble holding the sobs.
"Mas has never given me a physical touch, as if I were not your wife. Even if I can be honestly treated like this makes me feel lonely and desperately hold back so that I remain a loyal wife by not looking for attention to other men out there." Now Billa began as much as he could after successfully removing the load on his chest.
"If Mas Bima still cares and still loves me and still considers me as a wife. I ask to hug me right now and promise Mas will change and fulfill all the wishes that I have expressed," concluded Billa hopeful.
For a moment Bima was stunned. It did not feel like his thumb was wiping the clear drops that came out just from the corner of his eye. Very rarely does the man cry. But, after hearing all the complaints of the wife just now his heart suddenly felt guilty and regretful for making the woman who had been memorized it felt tormented by his attitude all this time.
Slowly, both of his arms began to stretch and then embrace his wife's body. Clenching tightly while whispering the word ma'af that was first spoken in the ear of the wife.
Hearing and getting unexpected treatment from the husband made Billa's heart drizzle. Gratitude to the All-Turning Heart of every Servant.
"From now on, I promise to learn to be a better husband. Learning to be a husband who can dive into the feelings of the wife to always be happy," said Bima mean it.
Bima again remembered all the advice of the mother through one of the verses of the Qur'an which means:
"Male (husband) is a protector for women (wife), because God has overestimated some of them (men) over others (women), because God has overestimated some of them, and because they (men) have given their living and property. So the righteous women are those who obey (to Allah) and take care of themselves when (his husband) does not exist, because Allah has taken care of (them). The women whom you worry about nusyuz[1], let them be advised, leave them in bed (breakup bed), and (if necessary) beat them. But if they obey you, then do not look for reasons to trouble them. Verily, Allah is Most High, Most High.” (QS. An-Nisaa’ :34)
***
After seeing the drastic change of the husband both from his attitude and speech, now Billa began to be able to enjoy his role as a wife as well as a mother for Vito. The woman's emotions can be more controlled to the child alone.
Bima also began to realize, if his life steps are in accordance with what is taught by Islamic law. Whether in marriage or anything else, happiness and serenity will accompany.
