When the heart is no longer

Episode 6

This afternoon I just got home, the weather was hot, the dry season was dust everywhere, plus on the road to my house a lot of damaged asphalt was not repaired, this worsens the air condition because if passing a lot of dust flying. Just entered my husband's house immediately spoke, the car was like I wanted to exchange, the installment weighs 3 millions, financial conditions are not stable anymore he said, I want to find a car whose installment is under 3 millions, I want to find a car, whatever my answer, I do not really care, since it is prohibited not to use the vehicle again, take the citycar dpnya 10 million installments under 3 million, he said again, he said, I just kept quiet and didn't answer what he wanted. After a few days he brought a car brochure home, choose what color would be good, with carelessly I answer the red color just said I, I said, no wait how long before the afternoon there is a car salesman who came to the house this time the requirements are requested, he asked me to play the salary slip so that in the acc credit application, his credit, with a heavy heart I just want the sales request, when in fact I am lazy to take care of it to the HRD because it will be complicated, but, the next day the sales again called to make sure and I answered that if the HRD did not want to change it, finally the credit submission was not acc from the car dealer. Not until there my husband is still trying another way, this time there is a friend who offers a second car but a new condition, only 4 months of running credit, without thinking the length of the car was taken by my husband, my husband, until here a new problem arises it turns out that the car owner is not clear the address, after being checked to the STNK address said the person concerned did not live in the house for a long time, and the house was empty, while the neighbors did not know where the owner of the car was. In such circumstances back my husband said if he wanted to over credit again to someone else, at that time my brother was offered the car, under the pretext of there was a debt of 3 million with my brother and other debts, he said, I don't know for sure who he owes, which is definitely the first car sales result of 95 million, only the remaining 10 million, it's for repayment of the remaining first car loan and pay the debt, and this time also covered this car loan to pay the debt as well, the more unclear the more here, the business he said also does not look goods, I do not know, I have mentioned before that, that, school children, car installments, home installments, it's all I pay, he spends to pay the electricity bill 500 thousand every month, daily needs often I also shop, he spends, because I cook so the goods bought money from my pocket. If asked how much my salary, my salary is actually UMR with plus benefits, but from that salary the rest I only receive 500 thousand, he said, because of the installment of debt repayment in the cooperative that I took 25 million for the business capital of my husband to sell a second motorbike, the remaining 500 thousand were to pay home installments, because the installment is 475 thousand flats, our house has been almost 10 years. Where do I pay the others, that's overtime money from me to participate in the operation, pay car installments, pay spp and tutoring children, shopping for daily necessities. That's why I'm always desperately in surgery outside of work hours, because I realize our life needs are many and all must be fulfilled, but instead my husband is always angry comments are not clear with my work. When compared to the income salary from overtime is much more, the more we often participate in operations the greater the incentives obtained. There was a friend who told me the truth that my husband felt that his income was smaller, which led to social jealousy, this resulted in him losing social control treating me arbitrarily and not thinking that it caused a trauma of trust and a loss of respect. It is true what this friend of mine said, instead of the more afraid I was being treated unkindly but in silence I was getting more and more against his every word and action, it was unthinkable to obey his words, he said, because I think all the proffocations to quit my job and be a housewife who just stay at home. Well now I work and make money every day just mocked, said mother does not know herself, said animals, especially if I do not work and only at home, seen how else I am, may no longer be looked upon and trampled down, O God so God tests my patience. Not without tears, waking up with puffy eyes or bathing while crying into my food every day, which strong women are treated like that, many people ask what diet can be thin body, how can the body be, the feeling used to be fat, covering my disappointment answered the ocd diet as taught by one of the famous presenters in Indonesia, when in fact I rarely eat because there is no appetite. But something that was hidden a long time ago was discovered too, it they knew because it was seen going away at night or coming home at night I was not picked up, until the security guard in front of all know the behavior of my husband, my husband, understand the name is also gossip, the wall can also talk😂. Not until there, once I had an operation at night home at 2 am, the door was not opened, I had to climb the door next to the garage, I was forced to climb, fortunately the door next to the garage was using the old way key that was to use the wood that was barred, so from the top I could open it, but it could only get there because the room door was locked, because the door was locked, so I had to sleep on the couch, it happened how many times. There was a time when there was still babysitting my son at home, he who always opened the door, he always opened the door, although I slept on the sofa or slept in the back room because the door was locked.There was also an operation at 9 pm I was not allowed to go, if I went to take my 2-year-old son with me, without thinking long I brought my son, once in the hospital there is the owner of the hospital and asked why the children's nights were brought by questioning I answered we had a fight because we could not go to the operation, because we could not go to the operation, if you want to go to bring a child, finally sibungsu invited him, fortunately he wanted because he had known, but the event quickly reached the ears of my brother who was in another city, he said, since the owner of the hospital was a friend of my brother, he immediately called him and my son also talked to him what I was going through that night. After the operation was completed around 23 am I went to the hospital owner's house on the right side of the building, I saw my son still playing with him, he asked, came home to be escorted by security guard or not, I said no need, he continued to say later if not opened the door how? I said I would go back to sleep in the hospital, or check in at the hotel for a break.