When the heart is no longer

Episode 5's

This morning as usual I woke up early, because there is an operating schedule at 7 am, half an hour before the operation starts should have been stanby in place, he said, I was ready at 6am and suddenly my husband woke up and asked, Where are you going?? Want to work, there is a 7 o'clock operation, outrageous you almost every day like this, come home late, salary is not how many people. I was silent at his words, he continued to speak again, you do not have to bring a motorbike or a car, you have no right to any of it, that's mine he said, I did not say a word, I took my bag and jacket and left. Distance from the housing we occupied with a large road about 300 meters, I had to walk out the hallway to find the angkot terminal department close to my work place, I set my steps while I accelerated, I said, I do not want to take a headache with the property claimed to have him, good luck so that in front of the hall there are angkot passing and stop approaching me, if the angkot ride takes about 30 minutes drive. As soon as I got to the terminal I immediately got down and walked about 500 meters to work, melting indeed, but I had to be strong for the sake of life, I was not a whiny person, I had to be able to, I had to be able to, while stepping I held back my tears that almost dripped remembering the words of my husband in the house earlier. This is the first time the word does not allow me to use a vehicle, and I do not want to bother with the words, it seems like this heart has begun to be immune and there is no sense because every day it is hurt, both by words and by deeds.

Arriving at work the room friend called me, the hard deck now contact you when it is home, there is a reason to avoid the operation call, he said, I smiled as I said, saying, if you just know what my position is now, even this morning I am not allowed to use a vehicle, he was surprised to hear my words, what does the deck mean?? I want to go, I can't take a motorbike or a car, he said he had him and I don't have the right to any of that. O Allah deck, what kind of man, wife for a living helps the economy of the family dizolimi, trus want to be in the same car motor at home, what to do?? I said, I don't know mbak, I don't want to be dizzy again now, living according to the plot, if it's time to work, time at home at home, he wants to be angry, he wants to be angry, want to babble want to prohibit this and it's limited I can run, but patience someone has limits, and I'm only human, if not strong anymore whatever my will will will do, it's up to people to judge what, what, they live me and they don't know what it's like to be me. Please say whatever I don't care anymore, my soul and body are getting tired. My opponent gaped at my words, maybe he did not expect me to be considered quiet and talk as necessary to be able to speak long and so recklessly. Finally we got to the room and immediately prepared for the operation this morning.

In the beginning I told you I met someone in cyberspace, he was a good man, although I do not know much of his background but I believe he is a good man. Here at the beginning it all began, at first we told ordinary stories about our daily activities as long as we had known for a long time, I began to confide in my husband and his behavior, he said, about my family and about my work that takes up my time. He listened and always gave good advice, he reminded me always to remember my son who needed my attention. Long ago my husband began to suspect, he checked my phone and said the man was not good, not worthy to be friends with him, until in the end I was not allowed to wear a cellphone, he said, my phone slammed on the floor until it was smashed into pieces can not be used anymore. I'm your husband, if there's something to talk to me about, not with other men, you're outrageous and have no brain, there's someone who wants to be with you, which man wants to be with you, bring it here so that I can marry if you want to be together, no one wants to be with you, he said. I did not answer a word he said, I immediately left in the room and went to bed. The next days if there is a phone call coming in must go through him, here the atmosphere is more difficult, every time there is a call operation like he replied, if he again well delivered the message of the caller, the caller, if it's not good anymore not delivered, he himself made the decision I can take part in the operation outside of working hours what not. Worse yet every schedule on call night hp he was turned off, so as not to disturb, this of course further aggravated my reputation at work, how not, how not, in modern times like this I am a working woman does not hold hp, all she controls, like the elementary school children who hpnya seized teacher, O Allah until so her treatment. Not my name if not much sense I buy a new cellphone without him knowing, hp that I keep in the locker where we keep personal items where I work. The numbers that I keep are important numbers that are my parents and my brothers, this I prepare if at any time there is anything I can contact them. I'm not a fool to be trampled on and I have my pride. From his own words I want to prove that there is a man better than him who will be with me and treat me humanely, let him realize that your mouth is your glory, I am challenged to do evil. Everyone is basically good, and wants to be treated well, and everyone can do anything because of the compelling circumstances, it all started with his words challenging me to prove that there was someone who wanted to be with me, but I wasn't a fool to bring that man in front of him, his name was looking to die, either, after all he is still legitimate as my husband, and here too I realize I was in a wrong relationship with other men, but my thinking has been round, he arbitrarily treats me, he said, even challenging me to show a man who wants to marry me, whose heart is not hot with that speech as if I am a woman does not sell, only he wants me, hello...speech is prayer and the more we come here not further away, my relationship with the man I know in cyberspace is getting closer, we have met several times, he said, because many of his brothers live in one city with me. Even with his family I have met, especially with his mother how many times they have met and their welcome is very good, inversely proportional to my husband's good family in front of me but vilifying behind.From here I get comfort, it's not by chance we are met, maybe this is the angel's answer to my husband's speech.