The Sun Becomes a Star

Will replace?

“You're not kidding May ?” trisakti said as I began to tell her how I was with Aaron. Actually, I tried as much as I could to keep my mouth shut. But, how can it be ?

“Iya .. I'm not kidding ..”

“You khan haven't known me for so long?” sergeant Jell. At that time we were delicious – delicious to enjoy the fresh young coconut ice in the school cafeteria.

“Iya anyway .. but khan I like ..”

“What did he say to you ?” Jell came after me with her question.

“That she needs me,”

“Contin ?” trisakti's turn is chasing me.

“Set what well ... well keep being ..”

“Easy it ?” sergeant Trisakti again.

“Iya ..” I answered.

“Good May .. indeed it should be. You have to find a guy who needs you. Not the guy you need. Know the difference ..” Jell again – again gives his advice on choosing a good and right guy.

“What's the difference ?” Trisakti asked innocently.

“Big once Tri. As big as an elephant in the eye !”

“You mean ?” i asked. I have to understand this.

“Beginy yeah .. if you chase – chase the guy you like .. You guys are like beggars. Not easy self-esteem and end – ends, you will be utilized. After that you will feel hurt, betrayed, hated and a million other miserable melancholy feelings. It is different if you are chased – after guys. Although you also like for example, but you must have the right tactics. If so, the key to happiness is in your hands. How ?”

“It doesn't have to be so I guess,” I said.

“Only have you ever dated before?” jell's tone was very insinuating.

“Not ... not so .. I mean ... on the other hand, I also need Aaron ...”

“Sun. You're the most independent girl I've ever known !” Trisakti asked with a face of great disbelief.

“Maybe you're right Tri. But maybe, someday, you'll feel the way I feel now ..”

“What ?”

“There's a part of you that keeps calling – calling. Keep feeling like you have to search. Looking for someone who has time with you even though your other – friends are busy dating.”

“Is anyone talking about me ?” Jell asked while feeding the young coconut in her mouth.

“No matter how barren you are, still you will definitely need someone else. What you can share about life and the future.” My eyes were imagining me and Aaron in the future. What will it be like …?

“Halo May .. You live in a fairyland ?” Jell knocked – to the table.

“Jell .. at least, be happy for me today. I know you have more experience than me. But let just this once I receive happiness ..”

“May. I know my words are rude to you. But I say this because I'm your friend,” Jell looks at me really – really.

Then after that talk, Jell shouted, “Selfie!!!! We should celebrate this special day!” and like the other – girls in the world who have HP with the camera, we selfie – selfies until all the styles we can think of we've done that day. Jell absolutely does not allow anyone with a bad pose in one photo with him.

Aaron called me saying he'd pick me up after school. It's good to have a girlfriend, someone picked me up so I didn't lose any money for today. Plus ... This meeting will be our first official meeting.

“We find out to eat first ?” she asked.

“I'm still not too hungry Aaron. I'd rather have a chat than eat,” I said slowly.

“And to speak we need a place not ?”

“What place do you think of ?”

It just so happened that a lot of clouds floated over the city of Malang so we were both not overheated.

“Why haven't you entered school yet?” I asked when we got there. Looking at the roof of the building that looks small in the distance. Like a monopoly house.

“I don't want to go to school yet. Maybe in a few days,”

“You don't feel guilty ?”

“To whom ?” he asked while raising his two shoulders simultaneously.

“Do not know .. someone you love. Brother Kevin for example,”

“Kevin has his own life. He must have been quite relieved to see I'm good – fine,”

“Then do to ...” I want to add that sentence with ‘ku’. But I'm an eastern khan girl.

“Who May ..?” I just shut up. “Why don't you just say it for you?” he asked again.

“You can read my mind apparently. Aaron ... I really like you. And I can clearly mention that you are the person I have thought about the most these past twenty-four hours. But Aaron ... yesterday's incident ..” I stopped.

“I know you wouldn't like to see that happen. I don't like you, too, May. But my body is getting used to it. …”

“Do you not want to stop Aaron .. I mean no longer depend on the drug – the drug ?”

“Why do you ask like that?”

“Because I hope you are no longer selfish Aaron. Because I need you now. Have you ever imagined the last few hours .. someday you will not walk this fast … maybe you will no longer be able to piggyback me here and there with your big bike because your hands will continue to tremble and your brain can not control the work of your muscles. I need you, Aaron. Just like you need me. Many sad stories I read in the newspaper about people – people who got bad with it. I just felt happy once. I don't want the taste of this fast – quick pass. Do it for me Aaron try ..”

He did not say at all what – what. Just looking ahead felt the wind calmly walking. It brings the smell of fresh dust and soil.

“May .. You really – really like me ?”

Is it too hypocritical if I nod ? and I held his right hand with my left. I guess that's a sign I can give you.

“I no longer want to be your private English teacher Aaron.”

“I know.”

We fell silent again. It feels really comfortable to let the word – say we do not come out of mouth. Feeling in the chest how many words – actually I want to put out but it turns out the vocabulary in the dictionary is not smart enough to describe my feelings well.

“I talked to Kevin about us this morning. He thinks there's one thing you can do in his office after school. So that you no longer go there and find work.”

“What job ?”

“Connecting with photocopies and mail filing I think. Not too difficult khan ?”

“Nothing is difficult. All I need is money.”

“Why are you so strong while I'm so fragile May ..”

“No idea ..”

I guess that's what it feels right – really has a girlfriend. At least I have a boyfriend. Whether you have a long and very experienced boyfriend, do you still feel the same heartbreak when you just started dating ? If you don't feel the beatings anymore, does that mean that love is no longer in your heart ? Or maybe even, you do not need to feel the beatings to be able to consciously live out how beautiful love is ….

I can't answer now, so I'm asking you guys. Many people have a beautiful mind –, but even though you can climb Mount Everest and land on the moon, everything will run temporarily like the pride of – other pride. But, perhaps, love will last longer than the pride I had when I won the speech race and then had to give up my trophy the following year. Only temporarily, lost when there is a substitute. But this sense ... which is in this heart ... is it possible to be replaced … ?

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Check out other stories written by Eveningtea81 in Noveltoon

1.      Play your guitar, Sophie

2.      The Sun Becomes a Star