THE HIDDEN MENTARY

MEN'S TALK

"There or none of you in your life, Brother will still divorce Adinda. There's something you absolutely can't accept from him."

Is there or isn't there me Bang Arka going to get divorced? What's the matter, actually? I keep asking myself.

"Bang, tell me the truth Bang. What the hell is Bang? Kay believes, Brother also deserves to be happy. Is there nothing else you want to save in your marriage? Don't be selfish Bang, remember the little brother's son was born." I continued to make a sound, trying to give Bang Arka some spirit.

I really don't know what else to say. I just want everyone to get back into their positions and get their happiness. Me and Bang Arka, we all deserve to be happy. Even Adinda deserves to be happy. I really don't want to be between the two, I'm not ready if I have to be called an actor. Although my heart, it has chosen where to be.

"Yeah child? Hm.. I remember there was a child in my wife Micah's stomach. It's just.." Bang Arka was about to explain everything when my phone suddenly rang.

Drrt.. Drtts.. Drtts..

Bang Arka glanced at me. His forehead immediately furrowed as he looked at me sharply. I was suddenly nervous to see it that way.

I felt my bag. Looking for my phone in it. Hope that's not the name on my phone screen.

Suddenly my bag changed position. Whether because of nervousness or lack of concentration, I did not realize Bang Arka had brought my body closer to me and grabbed my bag.

Bang Arka's hand was stretched out in search of my phone.

"Bang, that. Let alone. Don't lift it first. Where did you say?" I'm trying to distract Bang Arka. My nervousness is diverted by talking a lot but unfortunately, the talk I do is very weightless. Less subtle how you play Kay!

Bang Arka's face grew darker as I rubbed my gelagat. Ah your steps are very easy to read, Mikhayla!

My phone was already in Bang Arka's hands and Bang Arka's head was nodding along with a wry smile on her lips.

DISMA SIS HANDSOME

The name on my phone screen. My heart was beating fast. I don't know what Bang Arka will do after this.

"So this is what you were trying to hide from earlier? Even the name of the contact looks different, Micah?" The insinuation of Bang Arka today is very abundant in its spiciness.

"Bang, can I explain everything. That's Al's own sister. He wrote his own name Bang. Swear on! If Kay's lying, Kay wants to be more beautiful." I said a little joke.

"He even took and opened your own phone, Micah?" Bang Arka's cynical voice hit me again. Well, I'm wrong again!

"No, Bang.." I wanted to continue, but suddenly I thought of something very basic.

Why am I so afraid that Bang Arka will get hurt? Why do I have to explain everything to Bang Arka? Why am I trying to cover everything? And why is Bang Arka behaving like that? It's wrong! So wrong! Our relationship was wrong too! My brain kept twisting that sentence.

"Why stop Micah?" Bang Arka noticed the turmoil of my heart. I looked at Bang Arka.

"I can't promise you anything Micah, at least for the next two months. But can I be selfish? Can I ask you to be brave? Please Micah, be brave. Hit all these limits, take my hand. I won't make you cry anymore, even though I don't know what the future will be like. But I will always be by your side. I won't let you duck in shame. I assure you, you will stand tall against the haughtiness of the world. But please, stay by my side. With me. Even though I know, this is wrong." Bang Arka cried as she said it. The pain in his heart was deep.

"No more people I love go away from me. I've had enough to lose, Micah. Don't you disappear from my life anymore. I. I. I really need you." Out has been all the words that Bang Arka wants to express. Her tears are flowing.

Today I saw, a Bang Arka who I knew was firm and proud at first, who always tried to cover up his pain, turned out to be just a cover to cover up the fragility and loneliness of his heart.

I cried and hugged this weak body in front of me.

"Kay's just afraid of Bang. Kay was afraid to go too far into the household life. Kay was afraid to ruin everything." I sobbed when I said it.

"It's all broken when you haven't come Kay." Bang Arka made a sound in the middle of the stuffing he was trying to hold.

"And the main reason is that Kay is afraid to go too far in the comfort zone that you create. Kay is afraid of becoming addicted to Bang." I'm trying to be honest.

"You're fixated on the comfortable times that I could throw when we were shopping first huh? Don't you realize where that comfort is now anchored, Micah?" What kind of rhetorical question is a bang?

"My comfort has been anchored to your heart, Micah. Please stay by my side. Keep me company, and fight with me." Bang Arka's voice suddenly made my sobbing stop. I looked into his eyes, there were no lies in them.

Do you realize what you said Bang? Are you expressing love to me? Oh come on, Bang, don't joke with me!

"I'm well aware of what I'm saying Micah. If that's what makes you doubt." Jesus, the psychic drip's back. He can always answer the questions in my heart!

"Is the future for me with you Bang? A true future, one that does not destroy the future of others, I max." I'm crying.

"Let's wait another two months, I'll give you a clear future."

"If in these two months my future is invisible, and I've been mired in your heart, what will you do Bang?" I asked with doubt. I need certainty. I need a way out when there's a war.

A war? Yes, I'm sure if I'm with Bang Arka, sooner or later there will be a war like the other day.

"If in two months it's been out, then it explains everything." Reply Bang Arka full of puzzles.

"What's out Bang?" I asked full of confusion.

"Follow me, and I won't let you down."

"If in these two months it doesn't come out, whatever it is you mean, then what happens to me Bang?" I still demand an explanation Bang Arka.

"The more days I'm sure of my heart. I won't be wrong this time."

"How do you believe that Bang?"

"Because I studied biology."

Oh my God, this mess? Heh Mr. Lecturer, do not like to play guess dong! I was confused to digest everything you said. The ability of my brain is not as great as a psychic drip like you.

"And what do you mean Bang?" I continued to terrorize him with my questions.

"Follow me, and trust me Micah. Can you do that? I'll tell you everything when the time comes. I just need some more evidence. But please, you also have to take care of your behavior."

I let out a rough sigh and turned my gaze towards Bang Arka's desk. Cih, what does that mean? I keep my distance from all these guys?

Suddenly my eyes caught something that had been stuck in my mind all along. Oh so that's why, why I didn't recognize him yesterday. Fuck up! Maybe he confused me.

"Well Mr. Fabian Arkananta Shahputra. I'll follow all your advice Mr. Lecturer!" I glanced, when I realized the full name of Bang Arka. A foreign name but with the same person.

Bang Arka glared back at me. You are Kay! Do not wake the sleeping tiger. Duh my mouth, no more whining strange now huh. I shuddered at Bang Arka.

"You never asked me what my name was and what my job was, Micah. So it's not my fault if you don't know I'm your lecturer. Isn't this a perfect coincidence? Doesn't that include our destiny? Let's just do what's in front of us, Micah. I'm sure it's the new beginning of our lives." Bang Arka smiled as she gently rubbed the top of my head.

"Don't shy away from me, don't stay away from me. I need you, Micah."

I smiled looking at Bang Arka. This is truly a happy day. All the words of Bang Arka really made me soar.

I just wish I could do this well. Although this was the wrong start, I knew it and I realized it. But my heart, wants to oppose once again.

I want to cross that line.