THE HIDDEN MENTARY

GATHERINGS

I shivered in the cold, under the heavy rain and the thick of the night. Sitting on the side of the bridge, on the side of the road. I feel so tired that my feet are stepping. I ignored the strange gazes of people passing by, looking at me as if I were a bully. Cih, stupid time with them, they all can't help me anyway. They don't know me, but they seem to know how I feel. They don't know what I've been through, but they seem entitled to berate me.

My eyes closed and looked up, challenging the torrent of rain falling on my face. It hurt, as the water droplets came down my face uncontrollably. The longer I felt when the drops touched my face without pause. Let it be like this, I want this rain water to camouflage my tears that have not stopped since. I don't know, I've tried hundreds of times, but these tears still faithfully accompany.

I felt like my eyes were swollen, my strength was already crawling at the lowest level. I looked at my school uniform that wrapped my body. White gray, which is already full of all sorts of colorful signatures of my friends and lots of cute short messages. It was comforting to me but now it's actually torturing me. I want to tear this uniform out right away, but my common sense still works. Huh! Looks like these are all the most beautiful gifts of my graduation.

I put my face on my knee. Hope to get strength when you wake up. I tried to close my eyes for a moment, feeling that this body was beginning to protest for its right to rest. Ah really shit! Just a moment to close my eyes, the flash of the incident this afternoon was immediately plastered very clearly in front of me.

Screaming as loud as he could, crying as hard as he could, yes maybe that would immediately erase my memory of all the events. I really hope all of those ways work. I really hope my tears that have been spilled and my echoing screams can wipe away the side of my brain that still commands me to keep remembering and loving her.

Three wasted years. It was so futile. Spending time with him, ended up just to be used as an outlet. Three years of making memories, now just a curse. Three years of keeping the heart, now just want to berate the maki. Should I keep happy memories with him, for the sake of our three years together? For the time we shared with each other? For the sake of the times we learned to understand and understand each other? For the sake of the times we passed every teaser present alternately? For the sake of our times that only knew love?

Maybe he doesn't have a heart. Maybe the feelings he had were not as deep as my feelings. Maybe the three years we spent didn't make a mark at all. Maybe it was just me who was keeping my heart. Maybe, maybe and maybe. Tonight I was really thinking about the thousands of possibilities that could happen. In fact, if these three years had any special meaning to her, I might not be sitting alone in the rain tonight. Maybe he's been preventing me from running. Maybe he was just going to look at me, not be tempted to look at others, even though others serve a dish sweeter than me.

I don't know, I really can't think clearly, I can't think of a logical reason why he's so easy to let me go after everything we've been through these three years. Is it my fault that I was just trying to take care of my heart and myself?

Suddenly I felt the rain no longer drenching my body. Ah it's gone. I lifted my head slightly, glancing towards the left of my body. Hah, why is that side still so heavy rain. I was confused, and started thinking about having hallucinations. Maybe the rain and crying from this afternoon made my vision blurry. Yeah, it must be like that. I convinced myself.

"When are you crying there?"

The voice of a foreign man greeted me. I tried to open up my memory bank, sorting out who was in front of me. I didn't find an answer. I don't know him. My feeling is that I should avoid immediately. Stay away from strangers. Bad thoughts instantly took hold of my body and my brain already thought of a thousand and one ways to save myself.

Immediately I woke up, without seeing who was standing before me. All I know is that as soon as I have to leave, I run to save myself from whoever is in front of me.

Whether it was sitting for too long, or too long in the rain, or perhaps crying for too long, my body suddenly felt light as I stood up and tried to run away.

"Review, careful!"

Buuugggh..

Those were the last words I heard, just before my sight went dark.