The Healer of the Sinner

Feeling Low

"If you had accepted this match just because you wanted to repay my parents' debt, I wouldn't have forced you to stay by my side." Nizam's words made Nina jump in shock, her face looked up to look at Nizam's black irises.

"What do you mean, brother?" ask her with a deep frown. The big question mark was in Nina's mind.

"I'm afraid you're having a special relationship with someone right now. And in return for my parents, you sacrificed your feelings for this marriage." Nizam was silent for a moment, with a look not turned away from his wife's face. Likewise with Nina, her feelings are now mixed hearing the unfinished expression of Nizam.

"Nina, maybe you've heard about my dark past. I am not a perfect man, let alone a saint! My life is covered in sin and this soul was once plunged into the pit of worldly blasphemy. I don't deserve to be the husband of a good woman like you who is clean and clean-hearted. I'm too bad for you, Nina!" Nizam's eyes look empty when the hope of his love is in sight. However, the self-awareness and selfishness that previously expected Nina to be able to reciprocate her feelings suddenly collapsed just like that given the sin she had committed.

For some reason, his heart shrunk to see the spaciousness of Nina's heart at this time. He felt inferior and did not deserve Nina. He felt really bad considering all the dark times in his life.

"If you are forced, I will give you a chance to die ...."

Nizam's sentence was suddenly held back as his mouth was covered by Nina's palm that was reflexively silenced, unable to continue.

"What did Brother say?" He took a slow hand away from Nizam's face. Feeling embarrassed and clumsy actually.

"Do you think our marriage is a game, done when needed and dissolved if there is no interest? What you think, this wedding is a joke." Nina was disappointed in Nizam who suddenly said as if she did not appreciate the sacred pledge at all.

Nizam just fell silent with his unmoved body, looking at Nina's anger unexpectedly. Though, he said like that to not make it difficult for Nina in the future. So that the woman gets a chance to live happily with her beloved man. Nizam does not want Nina to be depressed, and spends her time living with a useless man like herself.

"No human being can judge another, not only ourselves. No matter how bad someone has done in the past, but he has repented, he also deserves the same future. No one knows what our destiny will be like in the future, because we are only obliged to strive to become better human beings. In fact, Allah loves a repentant sinner more than a man of faith who always prides himself on his conscience."

Out of nowhere the courage came, so Nina bravely spoke at length to open Nizam's eyes that looked desperate for his actions in the past. Her husband lost hope in getting forgiveness from God, so he felt unworthy of what he got now.

"Nina, that's not what I meant. I just don't want you to regret and choose the wrong partner. I think, before it's too late, you can take this big decision to leave a husband who once had a bad personality!" Nizam still considered himself inferior in front of Nina, given his despicable deeds.

"If Big Brother is still talking that absurd thing, I promise I won't want to talk to you again, Big Brother!" Nina turned her face away, disappointed by Nizam's unilateral decision without thinking about her feelings. Do you not know Nizam, if the person Nina loves is herself? Didn't know Nizam, if Nina really expects a husband like Nizam, no matter what the past of the man!

Nina was about to lie down and turn her back to Nizam, she was very upset despite giving her understanding. However, her husband remained in his unwilling mind and trusted her. That, he wants to marry not only for reasons of return, but expects the pleasure of Allah Subhanahu Wata'ala.

"According to Brother Nizam?" Still can't stop thinking about this grown man next to her.

Nina's mind was still divided on the father who lay weak in the hospital, even though the last time he got word, that Mr. Anwar's situation had improved. Stay recovering for a few days and will soon be home if the doctor allows.

Now, Nizam instead adds to the burden of Nina's mind, which is divided into the condition of Pak Anwar which has lately decreased. Plus the surprise of the fact, that the man Nina married was the man she loved so much secretly. But the two are still not open to each other.

"Nina, please forgive me! I didn't mean to offend you. I just want to offer you a choice you might need!" Nizam feels very guilty, because Nina actually looks disappointed in her honesty to free Nina in taking the decision after marriage that they did from arranged marriage

"If Big Brother's thoughts are like that, and still consider Nina only wants to return the favor through this marriage, Brother Nizam is wrong. I'm disappointed in you, brother!" Nina dropped her body on Nizam's back. However, just look strong and brave. In fact, his soul is currently trembling due to his courage that spoke like that to Nizam.

For some reason, the corner of his heart was offended. Or indeed did not want Nizam to think of her as a wife who could not accept the ugliness of Nizam in the past.

Do not know Nizam, if he was a few hours ago so shocked, when he found out that Nizam was the son of Bu Zainiyah told by his family, when he found out that Nizam was the son of Bu Zainiyah, men who have had bad temper in the past and intend to repent through their planned marriage. However, who would have thought if it turned out that man also had a special place in his heart.

If a woman like Nina is able to face this much reality, then why would a man like Nizam even be weak would be a reality!

"All right! If you're angry, I understand. Forgive me if my words hurt your feelings. If you still want to survive being my wife, I'm so grateful, Nina!"

Silent.

No more follow-up conversations after the apology sentence from Nizam, the man chose to join his body in the supine position. The view focuses on the ceiling of the room that looks like an appearance by the room lights.

His mind was now indecisive, but also unwilling to make Nina tormented and become his wife. Honestly, if you can say frankly, Nizam was very happy when he found out he married Nina - a woman who was able to steal his heart after a long time dead for a while.

However, Nizam also does not want to be selfish. Just because of her happiness alone, she sacrificed Nina's happiness, if only that woman had also given her heart to others. In essence, Nizam does not want to complicate or hinder Nina's happiness with the marriage.