The Fading Love

Proposal

"At least give me reassurance Inayah, don't hang up my feelings, we're both old enough not to play around with the relationship" I ventured to raise my head to look at Tama. Today Tama took me and the kids to the city park, we were like a happy family, maybe people would think that I and Tama were Aska and Ziya's parents, because Ziya kept calling Tama papah. I had also prepared myself to meet with Tama, I had been avoiding her for weeks, I felt awkward when I met her after what she said the other day. And now I ventured to accept his invitation after telling my parents about my anxiety. They gave up all their decisions to me, they didn't force me to accept Tama in my life, they knew how traumatized I was by a relationship that ended in cheating. After officially divorcing Zidan, I never once had a relationship with anyone again, I just focused on my career and my children, after all that materialized, not infrequently my parents asked me to immediately find a new companion, starting a new love with a better person.

"I'm not forcing you Inayah, I will accept whatever your decision is, will it be refused or accept, the important thing is that I have told you everything" last night I prayed to ask God for guidance.

"have you asked your wife's permission before conveying your goodwill to me, sir?" I turned to him, he looked straight ahead, watching my children playing with other children.

"Naila herself asked me to marry you, Inayah "he said calmly. So he wanted to marry me because of his first wife's request, I guess he kept the taste to me.

"don't get me wrong, Inayah. Naila did ask me to find another woman who could give me offspring, I always refused, because for me the child is a fortune from God, if I do not have the windfall of a child... I have no problem, I am sincere and Ridho. When Naila and I were close to your children, it was there that Naila again asked me to remarry, and she asked me to marry you Inayah, and to be honest... I started to harbor feelings for you Inayah" Tama turned her head, made our gaze meet, this man's gaze was so deep, I cleared my throat to distract.

"Ziya slowly, son" when Ziya did not run, I just wanted to disappear the feeling of pounding in my chest because of Tama's confession and gaze earlier.

"Ziya is getting more active "I muttered to myself.

"You try to avoid our conversation Inayah "I was instantly silent, I swallowed my saliva with great difficulty. Tau aja Tama if I try to divert this heavy chatter.

"you refuse even our relationship will remain the same Inayah. I will always love your children like my own, nothing will change, don't feel burdened with my invitation" the remaining bottle of mineral water was half spent. I take a breath before speaking again. I looked back at him again.

"father serious about what the father said?"

"do I look like I'm playing around?" I saw Tama lift one Eyebrow.

"sir, I got divorced because of the betrayal my ex-husband used to do to me. For years I tried to rearrange my broken heart because of it, I never again whose name is related to men, I was traumatized sir, I was afraid of being betrayed again, I was afraid of being betrayed again, I was afraid of being disappointed again. I think you know my max. I once told myself that if I would never love again, I was traumatized by love and marriage sir. Until this moment I still hold a considerable fear in my heart. I think my son has enough of me as a single parent for them, but in fact I was wrong, my son needed a father figure for them, a father figure who would love them, love them, love them, take care of them, and it's not enough of my own. You've been close to my children from childhood, I also feel happy, because my son can have a figure like a father who loves them" I pause my sentence, I first, I smiled at Tama, and the man did the same.

I nodded "I believe in my father, I believe he is a good father to my children" I said calmly, not knowing that there was a great rumble inside, my heart wants to jump out.

"Bismillah, I want to marry my father"

"I promise to love you, I will be a good father and husband. I cannot be a perfect man, because perfection belongs to God alone, but I will try to keep you happy"

"thank you sir, I believe that"

"hungry mama" I opened a bottle of water for Aska, and Tama for Ziya, Tama and Aska sat cross-legged in front of me.

"pah, come play" Ziya stood pulling Tama's hand.

"Dad, I was playing with the kids "I nodded.

"titip the children sir" this time Tama nodded.

May this decision be right, I leave it all to the almighty, I have no reason to refuse it, even when I ask for directions I always get the same answer, accepting Tama in my life. Hopefully Tama will no longer open the wounds that I have buried deep, hopefully I can find happiness with her, hopefully Tama who I have seen all this time, is really the real Tama.

I've never kept the taste in Tama, but that love will grow when we're together, I believe that.

"mamah let's play" Ziya waved at me, followed by Aska as well as Tama. I stood up and walked towards them. I want to play according to their wishes.

"your catch" I caught the ball Aska threw at me, then I threw it again towards Tama.

"sir, catch"

...

"Tomorrow which branches should be closed Zidan!" Narenda throws a map with important files at her son's desk.

"We're poor Zidan! our company is ruined! Narendra's big name is ruined!" Narendra touched his chest which suddenly felt tight, Zidan stood up to help the papah sit down.

"calm yourself papah" said Zidan while opening a tie that stuck to Narendra's neck, he also opened Narendra's belt.

"calm pah, calm down"

"Where can papah calm Zidan. Our company one by one in closed, what should we do now son..."